How to fairly split housework

[Antihero22]

Hello everyone,
Posting here for traffic (Should I move it to relationships?).

I'm curious how you all fairly split housework..

My partner works full time from home, he has a good job that can be stressful at times, but he also finds plenty of time to play computer games when he's not busy.. He is definitely the earner of the household and I am under no illusion as to who's career is most important!

I only work part time whilst our toddler goes to nursery, and the rest I am at home with them.

Weekends are pretty fair I think, though I still need to delegate tasks and childcare generally falls on my shoulders, so occasionally annoying but I can live with it.
Week days however, I do pretty much everything apart from the 45mins I go for a bath in the evening. I don't find this fair at all.

He doesn't even tidy up after himself after making himself lunch half the time. I cook and usually end up cleaning up after as well. I do all housework, all planning for toddler, all the mental load is mine which I must admit I find very stressful. And even if I'm running late for work in the morning he doesn't help with the toddler....

I don't think for a second that just because he works from home he should do everything, but I'm also very aware that if I was the one who worked from home I'd end up doing everything 😒

Anyway, I just want to figure out a fair way to split everything because this is honestly causing a huge amount of resentment for me and I don't want to let it ruin this relationship. Any suggestions that can divide things fairly?

Sounds a bit similar to myself! My partner usually does the jobs I hate doing, weeding the garden, taking bins out, vacuuming the stairs.
We have a 6 month old and I’m at home with him all day while he works till 6/7pm every night. But if little one is still awake when he gets home, he’ll take him off me for a bit while I cook and wash/sterilise bottles etc which works pretty well for us! I really like cleaning so I’ll generally do most of that but if I am really fed up of it, he will help me if I ask. (I do tend to have to ask though he wouldn’t just clean without me asking!) I am also the one who sorts the baby out, making appointments etc, getting up in the night, but he will help with that if he wakes up too.

Could you sit down and have a chat with him and explain that you’d like more help? Maybe together you could come up with a plan of who does what? Good luck!!

My DH won't lift a finger other than dusts the house and vaccums on the weekend and changes the bed and then the spare room beds when required.
I once got him to wash up ie use the dishwasher, he did this for a few days and I got fed up as it was not a good standard. He does do the decor but I too as well, He refuses to cut the grass trim the hedges but at times does take the stuff out and back but rare. He is lazy never cooks

In our house we have a week planner with a list of the jobs which need doing weekly assigned to each day (eg clean bathrooms, dust windowsills, change bedsheets etc) and we split those up by taking the ones we prefer, then splitting the ones nobody really wants between us.
Daily stuff (kitchen cleaning, feed chickens, loading washing / hanging up washing etc) are just done by whomever is home and able to, as we both work FT and can be home at differing times.
It doesn’t take a lot of stressing about.
Admin stuff (bills, birthday gifts, insurances etc) usually fall to me, whilst DH ends up with more practical ad hoc things like fixing stuff or checking tyre pressures etc as per our strengths.