AIBU To Think Joey Maynard (Of Chalet School Fame) Was Insufferable

[TheShellBeach]

.............with her eleven children, infuriating husband and bizarre tendency to move house (and country) to live next door to the school her sister inexplicably started when Joey was a child.

She also managed to write (at least) two books a year, have a series of multiple pregnancies and poke her nose into the Chalet School's business on a daily basis.

Since if she had acted like this in reality, she’d have been lucky not to be executed (giving aid to the enemy in a time of war), I think an apology letter is the least that could be expected!

I tend to find that EBD had very little understanding of real life consequences of a lot of things she had the characters in her books do.

I seem to recall it being said that Joan never became a "real chalet school girl". Presumably she was just too irredeemably common.

It was obvious that the perm and the clothes and the make-up would only have been used by the lower classes.
I am surprised that Miss Annersley accepted her.

I’ve come across in a few books now places being described as ‘too relaxing’ - Pretty Maids, Geneva etc. what do you think was meant by that?

No idea but I want to go there 😂

Probably the lack of everyday things like orphans to adopt, hotel fires, train crashes, kidnap attempts, spies, burglars, paths disappearing into lakes and doctors to marry.

I think it's all to do with her obsession with bracing air being healthy, which I suppose in a time where patients were sent to the Swiss alps or the seaside to recover from illness makes sense.

So I think where she says it's too relaxing it's places in the bottom of valleys where there is less of the bracing winds that miraculously heal everyone and make them better people

Jut re-reading some of the Swiss books.
AIBU for following my old school halfway across Europe, buying a house next door and having a gate in the fence so I can drop in and out at my leisure and be told confidential things about new girls?

And walk into lessons and let my rampageous St Bernard charge all over the place?

I hope Len thought better of marrying Reg. It must have felt pretty revolutionary to girl readers in those days to see so many women who were happy with their careers & explicitly not interested in getting married. Rosalie Dene actually says so when Joey asks her if there’s really never been anyone.

Tbf I would have loved a dog charging into my classroom as a kid!

I like to think Len goes to university, gets out of the stifling atmosphere of the tiny community she has barely left for years and realises there is a whole world out there and never marries Reg or goes back to teach at the Chalet School.

Yes to all of that!

I doubt they had either clean knickers or clean stockings on a daily basis then. They probably had knicker liners daily but the pants themselves were often only changed on a weekly basis.

That is quite disgusting. Although I suppose no staff could keep up with the hand washing of that many clothes.

I'm just reading the chalet school and the Linton. In there its mentioned that Marie the made comes in to clear up after them and how she has a 2 month old baby herself. Poor Marie! Joey gets to go to bed for weeks on a whim but Marie is straight back to it.

There’s another great fanfic series about the Pfeiffens. www.sallydennylibrary.co.uk/viewseries.php?seriesid=4

Also it never seems to have occurred to anyone that the girls should call Karen Fraulein Pfeiffen (if she is a Pfeiffen) does it?

Yes, just at the time her own baby's screaming 24/7 poor Marie has to look after Joey, Joey's house and Joey's kids.

And Jack is always telling the children that they must help their mother as she is worn out whilst seemingly not noticing that that Anna and Rosli do most of the actual day to day work.

I long for a fanfic in which something minor happens, like Joey briefly getting stuck in a packing crate, and someone pulling her out, looking mildly irritated, and Joey standing about bravely pre-swoon, claims she’s right as rain but expecting a chorus of ‘Go to bed for the rest of the day!’ ‘Here’s a sedative!’ and ‘Children, don’t make noise — your fragile mother is being fragile!’, and everyone just saying ‘Honestly, Jo, you’re such a klutz! Do us a favour and just get on with it, would you?’

Joey landed at the bottom of the steps and looked round pathetically.
"For goodness sake, Mamma," said Len, carrying a box of papers past her, "we told you that Anna had polished the stairs and be careful."
"You can't say anything about me being too fast, when you go round like a...a whirling-dervish," added Margot with satisfaction.
"Isn't someone going to help me up?" Joey asked.
"You've gone white, like you do when you might faint," Len said, "so you better stay sitting down for a bit. Don't worry, we'll get on with moving the boxes."
"Like we always do," muttered Margot, as Len nudged her.
Con appeared at the top of the stairs.
"Mamma went a croppa again?" she said. "Oh well, I guess we could have expected that."
She put another pile of papers at the top of the stairs. Joey pushed herself up to standing and leant on the post at the end of the stairs, hoping they would realise how badly she'd been shocked.
"I did expect a little sympathy," she said.
"You mean like you did to Anna yesterday?" Con said, idly fiddling with the edge of her hem which was coming down. "You laughed so hysterically when she tripped that you nearly fell off your chair."
"I was fine, Mistress Connie," Anna was carrying down the biggest box of all.
"I think I better go and lie down," Joey said. "I'm sure Jack would tell me to."
"And leave it all to us again," Margot said. "You know, I'm not sure you don't do it to get attention."
Joey drew herself up to her full height. "I am delicate," she said. "I have to be careful."
"I'm meant to be delicate too," Margot shot at her. "If you remember, which you only seem to do when it suits you to have one of us you have to look after more and tell silly stories about being content with our lot. And, in case it passed your notice, despite you thinking I'm lazy for not being in a form three years older than my age, I have learnt to keep on going. You just expect everyone else to pick up the pieces while you go to bed."
"I shall ask Jack," Joey decided to ignore Margot. "He may need to come home and check me."
"For goodness sake, Mamma," Len said again. "You slipped off a step. One step. I don't think you even needed to fall on the floor except you let yourself. Here," she passed her the box she was holding, "take that through to the dining room so we can unpack it there."
The triplets walked off leaving Joey standing clutching the box. She hadn't decided whether to faint and show them how hurt she was or virtuously try and continue as they'd asked until it was obvious that she couldn't carry on any longer, when Jack walked in.
"Oh darling!" Joey thought the fainting definitely was a better option now, and prepared to launch herself into his arms, when he stopped and lit a cigarette.
That was very inconsiderate of him as she'd need to make sure the cigarette didn't catch her clothes as she fainted.
"I hear you've had a fall," he puffed at the cigarette.
"Oh darling!" Joey took a step closer, hoping he'd see how pale she was before she fainted.
"The girls said it was hysterically funny!" he said, and chuckled. "They said you flailed around like a fish. Still, let's get on, no point sitting around while there's work to be done. That box isn't very heavy, so I'm just going to put the tablecloth on top." He put two tablecloths on top of the box. "Take them through, the girls are waiting."
He walked up the stairs leaving Joey gaping at him. She recovered her wits as he got to the top.
"But Jack..." she began.
"Hurry up, the girls are waiting," he said and left.

Love it.

@MargaretThursday Thats brilliant!

Letter from Madge Russell

Darling Joey,

I heard in a roundabout way that you'd had a terrible fall on Tuesday, while the trips were helping with the packing.

I also heard that everyone ignored you after it happened! This is outrageous. You are delicate. I do not know how you survived childhood. Dick and I feared terribly that you would not.

Hilda needs to be told that the trips failed to get you essential, emergency medical aid when you fell off the bottom stair. Surely it was Anna's fault for over-polishing it? You should give her a serious talk and dock her wages this week, too. It is an honour to be one of the Maynard servants. Looking after the entire house, the cooking, cleaning, mending and shopping, is a most sought-after position, not to mention the joy of caring for all those babies single-handed while their mother writes splendid school stories.

Anyway - I am writing separately to Hilda so that she can demote the trips. They do not deserve to be prefects at the Chalet School. Len, in particular, needs a sharp lesson. It is time for me to tell Hilda that I will brook no argument.

Len needs to learn that she cannot be Head Girl now. A more suitable girl must be appointed in her place. Emerence Hope, perhaps?

But do write and let me know how you are. I was so worried to hear that Jack did not immediately inject you with morphine and arrange another holiday for you.

Of course, if you do feel you need a few weeks away from your onerous household responsibilities, let me know and I will arrange for the Emburys to have you for a month. At least that way there would be no possibility of your meeting another crowd of teenagers with an impossible, eccentric father, and end up adopting them.

Your loving sister,

Madge.

P.S. Did you see that article in the Daily Mail about Professor Richardson? He not only claims that he abandoned the children deliberately but also believes that Jack made Roddy's wound open up again on purpose, so that he could send an even bigger bill to the professor. Has he paid yet?

M.

P.P.S. Forgot to tell you that I am expecting quintuplets. I expect you'll have to have sextuplets afterwards, won't you?

M.

Just thinking aloud... Dick and Mollies children. They had four in about 4/5 years, didn't they? And then dumped them all on Madge and Jem. Imagine the real reaction to those cables telling them of a new arrival....
I bet the Russells were quite glad that they couldn't get back from India and dump the second set of twins with them as well!
On the subject of spacing children, at one point I think Joey must have had six under 5... the triplets and the first three boys were all pretty close in age, I think.

"...........................at one point I think Joey must have had six under 5... the triplets and the first three boys were all pretty close in age, I think"

No problem for Joey. She had Anna and the Coadjutor to do all the work.

Not the coadjutor at that stage but Robin could be fetched out of school to help out if Joey got a splinter or any other serious medical incident.