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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas present thank yous?

35 replies

Greenlife1 · 28/12/2022 14:44

Do you thank your friends/ family for Christmas presents.

I always do. Although I admit usually via message/ phone where once it used be handwritten.

I have come to notice an absence of thank you messages over the last couple years....anyone else?

OP posts:
Cococomelon · 28/12/2022 14:46

Yes. I'm usually with you and believe in a thank you message once you open the gift in the absence of the giver but others are doing this less and less and tbh so am I now!

Original poster
Greenlife1 · 28/12/2022 14:46

I should really have added to the my op....am I being unreasonable to be disappointed by a lack of thanks?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenlife1 · 28/12/2022 14:47

I think it's really sad. Just a quick text. Doesn't have to be Clinton's card moment!

OP posts:
Veryverycalmnow · 28/12/2022 14:50

My DS wrote out thank yous to aunties and uncles etc without me suggesting it, which was great.

FairyMarie · 28/12/2022 14:54

I send a text

Abcdefu · 28/12/2022 14:55

I send a message / photo of son with present- don't seem.to get the same thanks in return though

Raindancer411 · 28/12/2022 14:57

I send message's and photos

astralpiano · 28/12/2022 14:57

Yeah tell them it's shit and you won't bother next year

Puffykins · 28/12/2022 14:59

I make my children write proper thank you letters still. And I get the same make from (most of) my Godchildren and nephews and nieces.

Puffykins · 28/12/2022 15:01

'Strongly encourage' rather than 'make'.

Bluevelvetsofa · 28/12/2022 15:03

I stopped buying gifts for family members who never acknowledged receipt of them or thanked me.

Noimaginationforaun · 28/12/2022 15:04

My DS is only 3 and believes in Father Christmas bur I send thank yous to relatives (usually via text or WhatsApp though) with pictures or videos of him enjoying said present!

MeridianB · 28/12/2022 15:08

I’m pretty old fashioned on this. Everyone gets a written thank you card from my DC.

Some friends have started doing little video thank yous from their DC, which are really nice - and quicker. A text or email is fine. Just something!

I used to spend time choosing gifts for my Godson and his sister and post them, but never had a word of thanks, or even an acknowledgment they’d arrived. So I was determined not to do that with my own.

CaptainMum · 28/12/2022 15:21

The children write thank you cards within the first day or two of receiving their gifts. It's become a habit and they almost enjoy it now.

Spanielsarepainless · 28/12/2022 15:24

We stopped buying presents or giving money to family members who couldn't be bothered to even say thanks by text. It's saved us hundreds.

readsalotgirl63 · 28/12/2022 15:32

We have always "strongly encouraged" dd to send thank you letters to aunts/uncles etc -partly because my dsisters kids never thanked me for anything I sent. DD is now grown up and will text/message some relatives but still sends a letter to a couple of much older relatives.

Dnephew has kids of his own and I don't send anything to them as never got any acknowledgement/thanks for gifts sent.

GoodVibesHere · 28/12/2022 15:42

No, and I would be very embarrased to receive an official thank you letter from my neices and nephews. Such formality just emphasises a lack of closeness. I'm not some sort of elderly aunt from a Jane Austen novel! There really is no need for such rule following and dutiful behaviour.

mondaytosunday · 28/12/2022 16:05

My kids used to write to whomever if they were not there to thank in person. I don't get gifts from outside the family, but if I did I would thank them in person or if I opened it later would ring or email.

Puffykins · 28/12/2022 16:34

@GoodVibesHere my DC are very close to their grandparents. And their grandparents enjoy receiving letters to them. It's not a formality and there's no lack of closeness. It's general good manners - and my parents treasure the letters, not least because they're a record of the children growing up and learning to write better and more interestingly.

Olivia199 · 28/12/2022 16:43

I've always written thank you cards for my further relatives, and my daughter (though only just one so not exactly doing MUCH of the legwork) did thank you cards for her birthday with some excellent scribbles and will do so for Christmas too. I've always just liked doing it and my grandma, uncle etc are always thrilled.
Some people who used to get a card - mums best friend etc, now get texts or a phone call. But always always a thank you however it happens!

astralpiano · 28/12/2022 16:45

I write them for my DC. The DSC don't and don't even thank verbally I think its utterly shit of them but obviously DH isn't bothered so I leave them to it.

Hbh17 · 28/12/2022 16:46

Totally right. It's not "formality" to sebd a thank you letter, it's just good manners. I still cherish letters that my godchildren sent when they were little - so funny! Now as adults they text me, but they still know how to behave.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 28/12/2022 16:48

I always say thank you, but just by text or WhatsApp.

DaisyChain16 · 28/12/2022 16:51

I love giving gifts. I don't do it to get thanked. Mumsnet obsession with this is weird.

switswoo81 · 28/12/2022 16:56

Is this only for gifts posted to you. My dc will thank someone when they receive it in person so would never follow it up with another thank you note. Seems a bit overkill. We would never get presents sent in the post.
I would incidentally send pictures of them playing or wearing a present.