To start using CSA now daughter is 12

[Mumof3andlab]

Hello,

I have 3 kids. 1 with previous partner, 2 with current.

I have always got along with the ex, he’s dipped into DD1 daughters life on/off but has majority sent me £100 PM to help pay for her.

This used to be monthly payments, then went to a yearly amount (sometimes not even making it the equivalent of 100PM)

anyway, this year no contact around the time he sends it and no money. Have done some digging (previously don’t really care about his lifestyle just tried to stay out of it) I know bits about his life but he had a big fancy wedding, new dog, new wife is pregnant, he is in a good job in London and has bought a house near London.

AIBU to use CSA now? I’m sick of chasing money and acting like I’m so grateful when he’s earning a decent wage, and he’s basically ghosted me this year and he gives me a small amount, she’s almost 13 and is expensive.

thanks

It's the best thing I ever done after 11.5 years of nothing. Now I get a regular payment and it helps massively. It takes ages so don't wait about is my advice!

I think it is the correct thing to do. He cannot pick and chose when he pays. She does not stop needing clothes shoes food etc if he decides not to pay this month.

i think yes but how you go about it could depend on how he behaves towards you and child in future, if it’s been cordial until now it could go downhill. I’d be tempted to use their calculator guessing numbers and then tell him you think it should be about that figure and if he wants to pay consistently voluntarily great, if not you need to do CSA.