My DM is absolutely besotted with my 4yo, and I want to make it clear that I am honestly grateful that her grandmother would do anything for her.
However I’ve had problems with both mine and my MIL being extremely interfering from day 1, I feel the more I see them, the more my walls are up and I’m now just miserable when around them or faking a smile.
As an example we go around to parents on Xmas day and spend 24 hours with them, DM never listens to a word I say because we’re constantly interrupted by DD, DM allows her to do this and answers her, always favourably and in a sickly sweet way.
Every single time I speak to my DD I’m interrupted by DM with an opinion or comment and it’s so constant I end up just sitting by myself. For instance if I don’t want her to have yet another chocolate until after dinner I have to hear DMs opinion on the subject. DD doesn’t want to know me whatsoever when grandma is around and is picking up on the general lack of respect of my role as mother.
It causes arguments between me and DH because he’s had enough and I’m always trying to defend DM to ensure there isn’t a relationship breakdown between them. I’ve tried speaking to DM (and MIL) about this and asked her to calm it down or try not to interfere and she acknowledges her wrong doing and apologises but as soon as she is with DD again in her own words “I love her so much I just can’t help myself”.
I’ve tried to take bigger breaks between seeing them (reduced to roughly once a week for both DM and MIL but I get a massive guilt trip thrown at me, not only by them all of the time but other family members too!!
it’s hard to explain exactly what it is like but it’s driving me crazy to feel so disrespected/unwanted by them and DD when they’re around! AIBU?