Aibu

[Flowerpower97]

Ex not been part of children's life's in nearly 3 years his choice. But once a year his parents want to come into my home and visit. I've offered them to have children but it's always been a no. Tbh there is no bond there. Youngest had autism so they won't deal with them. But I feel like it's like spying for him . Keeping that link there. I don't feel comfortable. Like it's keeping that link open. I am worried telling them no it'll push them to push him to take me to court. Would you have exs parents still coming around. Of course they don't see any wrong in the abuse we've suffered from their son course they're not going to. Its their son. But it's just all so false and it's triggering me and making me uncomfortable am I being unreasonable? I cancelled said I was ill but I'm going have to suck it up one day this week and have them over. But how am I ever meant to move on .

Can I add I regularly share photos and updates off my own back. Knowing it'll get back to him . Get them presents and cards off the children. But I feel trapped like I was with him

Lots of typos sorry. Youngest has autism not had.

It sounds a bit confusing but I get the general gist OP. Tbh from you've described, I would be more inclined to let the ex's parents into my house once a year than let my children out of my sight with them outside of my house and potentially back into the arms of my abusive ex where I can't see what's going on as they don't sound too trustworthy from what you've described. I hope you're ok. Stay strong. Don't let them push you around.

I'd insist on meeting somewhere public like a cafe. Normally I'm in favour of IL keeping in touch but when they're snooping on you to give him info then I'm not.

If you only see yhem once a year, they dont really care.
Id tell yhem you'll see them on x day, at x place. You need to get out of the house as you all have cabin fever.
They are trying to control you.
It's your home, and you are entitled to let in and keep oit who you want. They dont have any rights to your children, let alone your space.

Yep, meet in public.
If they are happy to do this and stick to it you know they are genuine.

I agree with the PPs, suggest to meet at a cafe, playground, indoor playground, anywhere that is not your home, maybe somewhere familiar to your children. You don't need to have them (or anyone) in your home if you don't feel comfortable with that.

Meet them somewhere that benefits your children. Lunch out, park etc. Why should they come to your house and invade you private space like the Lord and Lady of the M
. Tbh, I would reduce contact a bit, cut back on SM posts, presents(!] cards etc.

These people don’t seem to bring much to your family or give much energy to staying in contact.

Thank you. I'll suggest meeting out but I can't see her being happy

Is that your job OP, making her happy? Will meeting her somewhere else will make you happy- that’s way more important.

Only meet their gc once a year!! If that's the case you owe them the square root of nothing.
Arrange a meeting in a public place in future, if they complain or argue it's their loss as it's obvious they have no intention of building any sort of meaningful relationship with a yearly visit.