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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"Friend" dislikes my dp and lies!

11 replies

dogspaws · 27/12/2022 22:41

NC as this is outing.

Have a friend who I've known around 10 years. Met my lovely dp through her. Before me & dp got together she couldn't praise him enough, lovely guy etc.

Few months after me & dp getting together, things changed regarding friends attitude towards my dp.

Started making up small lies, telling me things dp had been doing or saying that I could prove weren't true. I let this slide without having the big confrontation etc but did flag a few things up to her.

Several things have happened since then, she denies all knowledge.

It has became clear that she hates my dp, she still continues to make up these lies etc and is so nice and caring etc to my face, even regarding dp! Acts how a real friend would act.

It's all little silly lies but lies that could cause a lot of trouble between me & dp.

Nothing regarding cheating etc but still lies that could lead to us arguing.

Please note these lies she has told, are all lies, it's not a case of me not wanting to believe it etc, it is proven lies!

I've mentioned to her a few times about things that she's said & she then just avoids what I have said regarding the lies or dp.

I haven't exclusively said, "I know you told this lie" but I have left her know that the lie she has told, I am aware it's a lie, as I say she avoids it.

What do I do? Where do I go from here?

Do I just totally call her out on her bullshit? Or do I leave it & make note of all these incidents?

OP posts:
FrictionDiction · 27/12/2022 22:47

She's in love with you

OhBitchPeas · 27/12/2022 22:49

She wants your babies

BMW6 · 27/12/2022 22:52

She's either in love with your BF or you, or just jealous, or plain strange.

Whichever way its not a good prognosis for your friendship.

If I were you I'd be inclined to have a frank talk. Tell her how you feel and ask what's behind her remarks and take it from there.

Nagado · 27/12/2022 22:56

If this is completely out of character, I’d say that she either wanted to date your DP herself and is annoyed you got together, or she’s jealous of him because you don’t spend as much time with her as you used to.

LimeTwists · 27/12/2022 22:56

Depends on how many lies you are prepared to put up with! If you think you’ve been told enough lies already, the next time she tells one confront her with all of them and ask for an explanation. What else is there to do? Cut her off or pretend it’s not happening?

Scurryfunge12 · 27/12/2022 23:01

Is she in love with him and could that be why she was singing his praises to you previously? Unless she actively tried to set you two up together or seemed thrilled when you did get together then that would be my guess.

dogspaws · 27/12/2022 23:23

I would say no to being in love with him or having a crush. It was more of a, he's a lovely person etc.

I do honestly think it may be jealousy, I don't mean to brag, I don't mean jealous of me personally. I mean jealous that I'm finally happy, me and dp are happy. I do honestly get the impression she thrives on people being miserable!

I don't understand how someone can be so nice to your face, yet behind your back be making up these bullshit stories and lies for no reason.

Very strange! Someone I honestly thought was one of my best friends... but best friends don't behave in this way, well I sure wouldn't!

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 18/02/2023 14:24

How do you know they are lies? Is it your DPs word against hers? Can you give an example of the lies? ( or similar.) It's bizarre that she has done a complete 360 re her opinion of your D P, unless it is indeed jealousy of your happiness. In which case she is no friend!

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 30/10/2023 22:04

Hmmm. She may be telling the truth. What type of lies?

PonteMinchi · 30/10/2023 22:12

I’m struggling to imagine a scenario where she’s continually telling you things about your boyfriend, while you leap to his defence crying ‘Not true! And I can prove it!’ like Hercule Poirot.

IHateLegDay · 30/10/2023 22:12

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 30/10/2023 22:04

Hmmm. She may be telling the truth. What type of lies?

Considering the thread is a year old, I'd assume she's sorted it by now

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