How to keep a man? New generation men and men in general?

[Bebenama]

I would like to know people point of view on this as I’m newly single 38 single mum and want to know how to attract the right guy.
Here’s my point
Money, most men want 50: 50 almost on everything to do with finances, in my previous relationship I was doing all housework and cooking, and my ex paid 50% of bill as it is my house. We argued a lot because he wouldn’t do housework. He earns more than me, so in my situation I don’t think it was fair.

I know a lot of friends and family who accept the housework and other issues and never complain so there’s no problem in the house.

Im starting to think maybe I complain too much.

so to solve this problem do I just take it and keep quiet to keep the peace.

I just want to find from other people how do you maintain a good healthy relationship?

any men/ relationship psychologist here to give their views? Or anyone from experience

I think it's healthier to think about what a man would need to be like to keep you.

Agree with the PP. I'm not interested in placating a man just to keep one.

I wouldn't bother. I dont. There are so many substandard men out there. I'm not some blokes scullery maid and neither should you be.
It's really important to have higher self esteem.
Nice men are more attracted to confident women who know what they want.
Don't even consider putting up and shutting up.

I'd rather be alone than have to actively work to "keep" a man. He should stay because he wants to, and you should want him to stay because he makes your life easier, not harder.

Not all men want 50/50, there are loads of relationships where the man pays more, but that’s more likely if you have a child together and he’s not a Step Dad.

so to solve this problem do I just take it and keep quiet to keep the peace.

Why? A man is not necessary for a happy life. I think you need to value yourself more. Surely being single is preferable to being with a lazy selfish arsehole.

What benefit does a man bring if you have to do his cleaning for him?

There’s no way I would be accepting doing way more than anyone. Everyone has the potential to ‘Noam’ if they have to keep saying something over & over again. I wouldn’t bother, I hate moaning so i’d call time.

Surely it’s about what the man. Has to do also to keep you? Works both ways!

I've found the opposite. The more demanding (standards wise) and independent I am, men are willing to please me and treat me better.

It's probably a daft analogt but when I acted like a Ford focus I got the absolute dregs and when I act like a lamborghini I got brilliant treatment.

Also, amongst my friends groups, the ones that put up with stuff for an easy life get treated more & more terrible as the years go on. The confident, easy going but tough ones get treated lovely from what I can see!

I find you get what you're willing to accept. I am equal in all things to DH. At the moment he works, cooks all his own meals and food shopping and any chores I ask. He might not see jobs that need doing but will do them if I mention it. I'm poorly so some days all I do is get up, bathe and sit until bedtime.
At Christmas he cooked and washed up. When I'm up to it I take on more. We've been married almost thirty years.

Tell them where the door is and if they're not happy they're welcome to walk through it. You can't "keep" a person who doesn't want to be with you - well you can with a dungeon and ropes but that's kidnapping and frowned upon

Gosh no! You're 38 and should.know better. Don't compromise for any man. Sure there's give and take, but make sure you know your deal breakers. It's not worth it in the long run.