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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas day in a leaky unheated greenhouse - AIBU?

14 replies

ThinWomansBrain · 27/12/2022 20:31

I stayed at my sister’s over Christmas. For context, I came out of hospital a couple of days before Christmas, still had some post operative pain and a sore throat, had tested negative for covid, my sister knew I was unwell.
Christmas morning, she suggests going out for a walk – thinking some fresh air would be great, I agreed.
Although she’d spent the morning talking about having to moderate her activities to suit older less able friends, she marches on at a really fast pace. After half an hour, so probably a mile and a half, we’ve walked a loop and were back outside her home; my chest was hurting and I was struggling to breathe.
She asked if I was going home, so I said yes – she strides off on a route march around the very tedious village.
I sat in the garden until the rain got too hard, then I took refuge in the greenhouse.
After a couple of hours I spot that she is back in the house (hasn’t turned the lights on which she usually does as it’s a very dark house).
She claimed I hadn’t replied loudly enough – my voice was totally shot, and I’d have thought that I wasn’t on the route march behind her would have been a fair clue.
Thankfully I’m home now – I’d gone by train, and there were no hotels in the village – albeit with a really painful chest infection.
AIBU to still be bloody furious?

OP posts:
Pascor · 27/12/2022 20:34

Why on earth wouldn't you take her keys?

NeedToChangeName · 27/12/2022 20:35

For a keen walker, 30 mins is short, so she may have felt she was accommodating what you can manage

I dont understand why you didnt get a key do you could go indoors and get warm

BlueLabel · 27/12/2022 20:35

I don't understand why you didn't ask for the keys, or send her a message when you realised the door was locked?

Skinnermarink · 27/12/2022 20:36

This is…. bizarre.

thelobsterquadrille · 27/12/2022 20:36

Why did you just sit in the rain instead of calling her?

KarmaStar · 27/12/2022 20:37

She called you when she returned so you knew she was home?
Why didn't you go in ?

Stompythedinosaur · 27/12/2022 20:37

It's a bit of a mixed fault situation - could have been easily solved with a bit of communication.

You needed to clearly say you wanted to go back and ask for the keys, she could have been a bit more accommodating.

Snoken · 27/12/2022 20:59

Why on earth did you not just ask if there’s an unlocked door or if you could have the keys. You sound very passive, you need to voice your concerns.

ThinWomansBrain · 27/12/2022 21:37

i assumed that she'd crossed over the road and was following me after I said I was going in - I didn't realised she hadn't until I got to the door.
I'd not taken my phone out with me; she rarely turns her mobile on.
She did text, about two hours after I'd got back to the garden, but didn't open the kitchen door to look in the garden, or put the lights on that would have indicated she was back - and presumably didn't hear the text notification on my phone.

OP posts:
piedbeauty · 27/12/2022 21:46

I'm not sure you can blame her for your chest infection! They are s by viruses, not by walking too fast.

Why on earth didn't you just say to her 'oy, sis, hold on, you're going too fast'? Use your words!!

Is there some back story here? Sounds like there may be.

I hope you feel better soon.

Watchkeys · 27/12/2022 21:50

There must be a backstory, otherwise you'd be laughing about it together now, rather than posting on a forum for validation. Does she usually make you feel like you don't matter/she isn't listening to you?

PermanentTemporary · 27/12/2022 21:52

What a mess.

Depends what your goal is - is your aim to have a nice time with her, or does a small part of you enjoy her being in the wrong?

It's easy to assume someone you've grown up with will be on exactly the same wavelength as you, but you're clearly very different people and you need to communicate much more clearly with her.

'I'm thinking a 20 minute walk because I'm really not well. Would that suit you too?'

'I need to slow down sis im only just out of hospital!'

'OK I'm going back. Are you going on?'

'I can't go any further. How can I get in to your house?'

JoyBeorge · 27/12/2022 21:56

So your AIBU is are you being unreasonable that you and your sister don't communicate properly with each other?

ThinWomansBrain · 27/12/2022 22:02

she strode on ahead, ahead, and I now suspect she's either turned off her hearing aid, or they weren't working because they were covered by her coat collar, scarves etc,
She kept talking at me in the early stages of walking, but not an actual conversation, as in responding to my replies - although she does that a lot, even without scarves/collars, etc. She always has done to an extent, the hearing aids are relatively new.

I didn't grow up with her, she's my half sister, she grew up with her father.

OP posts:
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