Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hen Party

14 replies

Lotsofhens · 27/12/2022 10:46

A good friend of mine is getting married next year. Her sister is organising the hen party.

My friend is not involved in the planning whatsoever. It’s supposed to be a surprise.

The current plan by her sister is for 10 of us to stay for 2 nights in an Airbnb which is approximately £1200 for the 2 nights. This has already been booked but can be cancelled by the sister.

We have been asked to pay £150 upfront for the accommodation to friends sister.

The accommodation is in the countryside and the nearest town is 5 miles away. I won’t name town as it might give away who I am etc. The house itself looks nice but has no facilities e.g pool, spa etc. it’s just a huge house basically.

The rest of the hen weekend entails staying in this house the whole weekend and having a meal cooked for us by hired caterers on the Saturday and drinks on the Friday.

My friends sister has said the outside caterers will be another 100 on top for the 1 meal.

There’s no mention about food, drink and what we’re going to be doing all day on the Saturday.

I’ve asked for more information but not been given anything.

Im a bit concerned that this has not been thought through. Only 4/10 have said so far they are happy with the arrangements.

I get a feeling all weekend in this house will be boring as there is no plan to go out and do anything.

In summary the £250 includes accommodation and 1 meal in a 3 day period.

In comparison I had suggested we all stay at a 4* hotel which my friend and I stay at on a frequent basis. This works out at £120.00 a night and includes a 3 course evening meal, bottle of champagne in room and full breakfast plus tea/coffee/water in rooms. Also full use and access to all spa facilities. This in total would be £240.00 for 2 nights everything included except lunch which you would not need as breakfast is big full English if you want it. People can always buy additional drinks at their own expense if they want to or take a few of there own etc.

Would you wait for someone to say about the cost of this country house and all the extras we will have to pay or speak up and say the hotel is a much better deal?

I reckon this country house option is going to be more like £500 for the weekend adding in everything she’s not thought about.

I would prefer to be in hotel with something to do on the Saturday and have a nicer environment to stay in.

In a way I’m tempted not to go to the country house. It just seems a lot of money for not a lot. I also live only 30 minutes away from it so seems wasteful.

OP posts:
Outandover · 27/12/2022 10:52

I wouldn’t be going to the country house at all as it’s going to work out far too expensive and it sounds like there will be little to do either.

The hotel that you and friend stay in sounds like a much better option given all that is included. Also consider just doing this for one night - many people are experiencing the financial strain of this cost of living crisis and going off on an expensive jolly/hen party may not be viable for some people.

cherrycheesecakesouffle · 27/12/2022 11:00

The idea of a house is that you all have a common place to hang out in together - which you don’t at a hotel.

Can’t you just find a new accommodation that has more amenities? Also I wouldn’t try and sell the idea that you get free tea, coffee and water in the rooms … I’ve had that even in the shit hotels I’ve unfortunately stayed in.

Dishwashersaurous · 27/12/2022 11:03

Clearly the point of the big house is to all be together. Hang out and chat all day etc. You can't do that in a hotel.

It's not about doing stuff or activities but being together and spending time together.

You may not particularly want to do that, but that is clearly the plan

mummyh2016 · 27/12/2022 11:08

I went on a hen like this last year and can I say it was the best hen I've been on!
We did a party night the first night so had a karaoke machine, lots of drink etc. Second day we had a beauty therapist come in and we had a treatment each then on the night had a chef come and cook for us.
We all had something to bring so for example one person had to bring bread, another one eggs etc. Mine was milk and juices for breakfast. Obviously our own alcohol etc.

Flamingogirl08 · 27/12/2022 11:09

My friends and I do this once a year. 2 nights in a country house but we get one with a hot tub. Load up on lots of nice food and drink and just relax and have a good time. Maybe a nice walk. It's lots of fun but obviously you need to take everything with you. We actually did it for my friends hen so took lots of games and got everybody matching pj's etc

Lotsofhens · 27/12/2022 11:19

I was surprised that it was for 2 nights as I’m aware some people can’t afford it.

They are not saying anything on the chat. Probably embarrassed.

We went out a few weeks ago and some couldn’t afford drinks. We ended up paying for them.

Maybe they will say after Christmas.

I do enjoy being with other people but 3 days is a long time to chat and be with the same people

OP posts:
Lotsofhens · 27/12/2022 11:22

@mummyh2016

Sounds great !

this property has restrictions - no loud music or noise. The owner has cameras up at the house and can view . They also live nearby

OP posts:
Candleabra · 27/12/2022 11:24

I’d be concerned that people will agree then start to drop out - so your share of the £1200 will increase closer to the time.

Lotsofhens · 27/12/2022 11:34

@Candleabra

I have sent sisters friend a message to advise her not to confirm the house booking until everyone has paid as 6 people have not responded so far

I am also worried people will drop out.

OP posts:
Chaiandchocolate · 27/12/2022 11:39

If the group chat isn’t brimming with enthusiasm for this idea then that’s probably guide enough that people aren’t keen, probably for financial reasons mostly given the country’s financial crisis will be hitting many people.

The costs for this sort of event will continue to climb so you either accept that or bow out gracefully now, and perhaps plan to offer to take the bride out somewhere to celebrate beforehand, just the two of you.

mummyh2016 · 27/12/2022 11:52

Lotsofhens · 27/12/2022 11:22

@mummyh2016

Sounds great !

this property has restrictions - no loud music or noise. The owner has cameras up at the house and can view . They also live nearby

Exactly the same as the house we were in. There were stables opposite with horses so we couldn't be loud. The owner lived in a property attached to the stables.
If it's a detached property which I'm guessing it is by what you've said I wouldn't worry too much about the noise as long as you're inside.

Lotsofhens · 27/12/2022 11:52

@Chaiandchocolate

Your right. Maybe I should hold back sending the money for the time being.

OP posts:
StClare101 · 27/12/2022 12:17

A hotel is no comparison to a big country house.

If you don’t want to go speak up now!

RambamThankyouMam · 27/12/2022 12:23

Every time I click on a thread titled Hen Party, I know my reaction is going to be "Fuck, no."

Absolute nightmare.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page