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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a puppy?

84 replies

TodayIsFridayHooray · 27/12/2022 08:00

Been looking for the last year for a rescue pup. Finally the perfect pup has come up and we can collect today. Now the time has finally come round, I'm freaking out!!!

Will we cope?

It will be DH, 2 X DC, me and the pup! I work mainly from home most of the week but in the office sometimes. DH works full time (not from home). The dog will be mainly my responsibility to walk etc..

We had dogs all though my childhood so I know what I'm doing I think. But it's such a big responsibility! Feel like I'm getting last minute cold feet!

If you have a doggy, was it worth it? Do you have any regrets? Or is it the best thing you've ever done?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
igglu · 27/12/2022 08:04

Best thing I've done. I was worried that I'd be taking on too much when I got her but it's been fine. I absolutely wouldn't be without her. I'm currently tucked up in bed and she's snuggled up next to me 😍

MagentaRocks · 27/12/2022 08:07

Have you got care lined up for the days you are out?

we have 2 dogs, they are a tie. We can’t be spontaneous and I can’t go on holiday and leave them anywhere as I would feel guilty. They need a lot of play and attention BUT they bring me so much joy and happiness. I love taking them to the woods and the beach. The way they look at me with absolute love and devotion melts my heart. I spoil them but they are so well behaved (most of the time). Our working hours mean there’s always someone home with them too.

RudeElfTheRainDear · 27/12/2022 08:09

Do you have plans for care on the days you are both working?

Do you have a basic knowledge of dog care and training?

Do you have a bit of a plan about care if there was an emergency?

Are you prepared to walk every day regardless of other plans or weather?

Can you afford food, insurance and other care for the dog?

And finally, what rescue is releasing a puppy the day after Boxing Day? Maybe they do but it's not ideal so worth a check that it's a decent rescue.

Theduchy · 27/12/2022 08:10

We did two years ago. Years of thought went into it. We aren't new dog owners. It was the worst mistake we ever made.

thelobsterquadrille · 27/12/2022 08:10

Who will look after the puppy while you're working from home, and on the days you're both at the office?

Do you have a dog walker or daycare lined up?

How will you toilet train a puppy when you're working?

Wolfiefan · 27/12/2022 08:12

Having a family dog as a child is nothing like being responsible for a pup yourself though!
I couldn’t have worked at all when pups were very young. Can you take holiday?
What will you do on days you do work out of the house? You can’t leave a pup all day.
If this is rescue is it a mix or breed you feel you can manage?

Original poster
TodayIsFridayHooray · 27/12/2022 08:12

igglu · 27/12/2022 08:04

Best thing I've done. I was worried that I'd be taking on too much when I got her but it's been fine. I absolutely wouldn't be without her. I'm currently tucked up in bed and she's snuggled up next to me 😍

:) awwwww... :)!

OP posts:
MavisMcMinty · 27/12/2022 08:14

Is it an actual puppy? Because puppies can seem overwhelming at first, they’re no different to human babies in terms of having meet all their needs, although are much quicker learners.

A pup can hold its bladder for an hour per month of life, so an 8-week old puppy needs taking outside at least every 2 hours, always on waking and before and after every meal. Any “messes” in the house are your fault, not the puppy’s.

Never disturb a sleeping puppy - insist your children learn this rule from the off. Crates are excellent, particularly when house-training, as dogs are loath to fouling near their bed, but it should never be used as punishment, it should be their sanctuary, and should be kept in the busiest room in the house, not away/apart from the rest of the family. Dogs are pack animals, and solitude/isolation goes against their nature. Again crates are very useful to teach the dog you will sometimes have to go out and leave them on their own.

Get a book on dogs, enrol it in puppy/training classes, and socialise it as much as you possibly can. Good luck!

Original poster
TodayIsFridayHooray · 27/12/2022 08:15

Theduchy · 27/12/2022 08:10

We did two years ago. Years of thought went into it. We aren't new dog owners. It was the worst mistake we ever made.

Oh no ! What went wrong?? (Asking because we've been thinking about this for years. I am really nervous and not sure we're ready, but felt the same with kids and that all worked out amazingly!! So I was hoping maybe it's just nerves and when puppy arrives I'll actually be fine!)

OP posts:
frankiegoestohollywood · 27/12/2022 08:15

The puppy days are hard OP! I honestly don’t think I could have done it if working.

I had him reliably toilet trained by 12 weeks, but it was extremely tedious. I took him outside every 30 mins during the day and every time he made a squeak overnight.

you can’t leave them home alone and any resemblance you have of a social life will disappear for awhile.

the training is relentless and you need eyes in the back of your head.

hes 7 months now and just starting to behave more like a dog than a puppy and I really enjoy him now, but I will never get another puppy ever again.

DarkForces · 27/12/2022 08:15

It's a huge commitment and tie. Echo others: what's your plan for when you need to leave pup?
Also are you up for walking in all weathers and putting the work in to training?
Why is it all on you? Do your family want a dog? If so they should share the crap along with the cuddles!
We have a dog and we all committed to the changes it needed. I love it but it's a massive tie and not cheap!

Marypuppuns · 27/12/2022 08:16

Good luck & go and find the puppy threads on the doghouse

puppy blues are a thing but they become a distant memory as dpup gets older

have lots of chew toys to distract from biting when pup is teething and personally if you have dc I’d be inclined to crate train so pup has a safe space and you can teach dc not to touch or go near the dog when it’s in there.

Original poster
TodayIsFridayHooray · 27/12/2022 08:16

RudeElfTheRainDear · 27/12/2022 08:09

Do you have plans for care on the days you are both working?

Do you have a basic knowledge of dog care and training?

Do you have a bit of a plan about care if there was an emergency?

Are you prepared to walk every day regardless of other plans or weather?

Can you afford food, insurance and other care for the dog?

And finally, what rescue is releasing a puppy the day after Boxing Day? Maybe they do but it's not ideal so worth a check that it's a decent rescue.

I think yes to all of that ...

OP posts:
tigerbear · 27/12/2022 08:17

We’ve just been in/are in a very similar situation. Not a rescue, but a puppy came up for free very unexpectedly, and we’ve had him 2 weeks. Like you, I’m the one at home all the time (self employed), with DH also self employed but working out of the home.

I can honestly say that the last two weeks have been a massive rollercoaster, and mentally, I’ve felt completely on the edge most of the time. It’s been like the early days of having a new born (but worse!), and I feel like I’ve got post natal depression. Had a massive melt down on Christmas Eve and told DH that I can’t be the only one left to deal with pup day in day out.

if you’re going to get the puppy, make sure to have very clear conversations with DH (and DC if they’re old enough) about who is responsible for the pup at certain times (eg, as soon as your DH is awake in the mornings, will he take the pup out, feed it, make sure it’s been to the toilet etc). Will he get up in the night if pup is crying or to take it out to toilet? Will he be doing most of the weekend care, to give you some respite? Will he be able to take time off work to break up the week for you?

We hadn’t discussed any of these things beforehand, leading to huge resentment on my part, many tears and regrets.
I pretty much laid it on line the other day, and told DH that we can’t keep pup, if I’m the only one doing the care.

Your advantage is that if you’ve grown up with dogs, you’ll know the basics. I’ve never had a dog, so it was a massive shock to the system!
Good luck on your decision!
If you get it, I’d advise coming over to the Puppy Survival threads on here - lots of lovely people in the same situation, and some good advice.

mondaytosunday · 27/12/2022 08:19

Not the best thing I've ever done! But we love our pets.
I was a stay at home parent and waited until our kids were both in school before we got a puppy. The kids need training on how to treat a dog.
A puppy is a lot of work. We crate trained ours. He was confined initially to the tiled kitchen and family room (a very big open plan space) until he was house trained. This is where we spent most of our time anyway. But you need consistency with house training.
There's a chewy phase too.
After successfully housetraining it really is a matter of loving, providing enough exercise snd playtime. Be consistent with any rules (not being in furniture, no feeding from table - whatever).
Plus remember the cost of annual injections, insurance, food, a dog walker or daycare for the days you are working, kennels for when you are away. At Christmas time the cost of kennelling my dogs is £650!
Dogs are members of your family. But train them well and they can be a real joy. But it's a 12-16 year commitment. Life changes.

MyDogTails · 27/12/2022 08:21

My dog brings me so much pleasure. Everyone in the house fussed over him so much.
Do get a great walker for when you’re working so he goes out for the morning or afternoon and will snooze the rest of the time. This costa £15-20 where I live so not cheap but absolutely essential.
Put in the time training the dog of course.

Don’t forget to post the photos!

Roselilly36 · 27/12/2022 08:22

What are your main concerns OP?

We have had a dog from a pup till pts at 13years, no regrets whatsoever, he was a truly wonderful dog. Would we get another, no.

with a puppy, you need to be prepared for sleepless nights, this stage does end of course, but you have it again when they get old, DH& I always used to say if it’s not the kids waking us up, it’s the dog! Planning around the dog, if you need to go out etc, holidays added expense of boarding, the days you are going to the office you will need the pup cared for, so get that in place asap. Figure in the costs, food, pet insurance, equipment etc to make sure you can afford it, I expect you have already.

Good luck OP, I hope all works out well for you.

IwishIwasSupermum · 27/12/2022 08:24

Always had a family dog, growing up and now with my own family, we had a break of about 18 mths in between dogs as wasn’t right time to replace. DDog now is 7, and wouldn’t be without but I’d forgotten what hard work puppies are when we got her, and she was a good puppy mostly, be prepared for puppy blues, they are a thing, but with patience, hard work, alot of time and effort you should end up a valued family addition. Mine keeps me fit, Is DDs best friend, and is a happy soul who lifts everybody’s mood.

Original poster
TodayIsFridayHooray · 27/12/2022 08:24

tigerbear · 27/12/2022 08:17

We’ve just been in/are in a very similar situation. Not a rescue, but a puppy came up for free very unexpectedly, and we’ve had him 2 weeks. Like you, I’m the one at home all the time (self employed), with DH also self employed but working out of the home.

I can honestly say that the last two weeks have been a massive rollercoaster, and mentally, I’ve felt completely on the edge most of the time. It’s been like the early days of having a new born (but worse!), and I feel like I’ve got post natal depression. Had a massive melt down on Christmas Eve and told DH that I can’t be the only one left to deal with pup day in day out.

if you’re going to get the puppy, make sure to have very clear conversations with DH (and DC if they’re old enough) about who is responsible for the pup at certain times (eg, as soon as your DH is awake in the mornings, will he take the pup out, feed it, make sure it’s been to the toilet etc). Will he get up in the night if pup is crying or to take it out to toilet? Will he be doing most of the weekend care, to give you some respite? Will he be able to take time off work to break up the week for you?

We hadn’t discussed any of these things beforehand, leading to huge resentment on my part, many tears and regrets.
I pretty much laid it on line the other day, and told DH that we can’t keep pup, if I’m the only one doing the care.

Your advantage is that if you’ve grown up with dogs, you’ll know the basics. I’ve never had a dog, so it was a massive shock to the system!
Good luck on your decision!
If you get it, I’d advise coming over to the Puppy Survival threads on here - lots of lovely people in the same situation, and some good advice.

Thanks..I'm getting some much needed realism on here. Which I need. I am v excited, but also nervous. I think we'll cope, but I'm glad people are being honest about how tricky it can be so I'm fully prepared! (when I had children I had NO idea how hard it would be and that was a shocker!!! But turned out wonderful!! At least I know in advance that a puppy is going to be hard!!)

OP posts:
Softskinrocks · 27/12/2022 08:27

I have three and have had dogs the whole time I’ve had young kids. It’s hard work but the best thing ever for the children (and my mental health!). There are days where they all conspire against me. But get them all out for a walk or see them snuggling on the sofa and it’s worth it. We’ve lost a few along the way. Some tragically and some old - And the children have been involved. It’s an important reminder of priorities (giving them the best life) and the circle of life. Each lovely soul that leaves us makes room for us to rescue another one.

Good luck!

XelaM · 27/12/2022 08:28

Absolutely best decision I've made. I was so nervous and put off getting a dog for so long despite my daughter begging for one.

He's now nearly 2 and I love him like my second baby 🥰 He's the best, most cleverest, most loving little person creature. He adores everyone and has been an absolute dream. We adore him and take him everywhere.

I think it really depends on the personality of the dog how much you enjoy dog ownership and we have been incredibly lucky 🍀

to get a puppy?
BMW6 · 27/12/2022 08:28

If you have carpets anywhere the dog is be prepared to have them ruined by vomit, piss and poo. Dogs get sick sometimes and even cleaning the carpet won't always remove the stain or smell.
On laminate really runny poo can get down the joins and underneath.

Always have big bottle of tomato ketchup in the cupboard for "rolled in fox poo" bathing.

Or long dead seagull. Unbelievable stench.

I still love my boy despite 12 years of this ❤️

Milkand2sugarsplease · 27/12/2022 08:34

We got our pup at 16 weeks when we also had a 16 week old baby.
We've been extremely lucky with the puppy stage - I've never, ever had such a good puppy. It could have been a disaster but the whole family were on board. He (and toddler) are 18m now and adore each other, DS10 loves him too.

I'm out at work 3 days a week, DH is out 2 days but only for a few hours in the middle of the day, we split walks etc fairly evenly I would say, or we do it all together (depending on weather and what's happening that evening with the big ones hobbies etc).

Main thing for us is not having any family around to help if we're going away and neither of us like kennels - but we knew that before we got him and factored that in to our decision.

Dita73 · 27/12/2022 08:37

If you have any doubts then don’t do it

2bazookas · 27/12/2022 08:39

Don't do it until you have arranged (and costed) dog care for the days you're at the office.

you CANNOT leave a pup alone all day.