My mum has chronic pain and an acute severe cold on top. She missed most of Xmas because of this and my dad did it all. I had a really nice time and have been doing a lot for her to help - bringing food and drink, doing cleaning.
The problem is she isn't improving in terms of the cold, won't take any paracetamol/take comfort measures and is now taking out her pain and anger on my dad. Refusing to see a doctor, insisting she's improving when she isn't, not using her asthma inhalers.
She can be really, really nasty when she's angry and I haven't seen this side of her since I was a child and I can't go through those emotions again. I was a very mentally unwell child due to the dynamic between my parents, but mum mellowed with time and dad learnt not to wind her up as much (he's passive aggressive and can put her down when he's frustrated - certainly no angel).
But tonight she told him to fuck off for switching on a light in his own house. And she looked at him with pure disgust and hatred. He's had his own health problems but would never do that. She also had a longer rant at him with some very unpleasant words. Dad had been quietly watching TV and she didn't like the noise but used me as the reason why he needed to turn it down (I didn't care) and I felt like I was being used.
I know the answer is to go home. But I liked being there to help her. Things were good. Now I just feel so sad about Christmas and am troubled by memories of the past. I was so unhappy and I've just been sat in my childhood bedroom wishing I could be anywhere else.