I think my feelings are valid, but checking here. Want to be clear from the outset that I absolutely would not say anything to the people involved and this is not about presents, just the principle.
I've been with DH for 10 years, married for 5. I have a 15yo DD from previous relationship.
MIL has a very good friend who is a lovely lady and DH and I often invite her whenever we invite MIL to our house for a meal, or go out to eat, for my DDs birthday parties. When she was poorly recently, I text her frequently to see if she needed anything, offered to drive her to appointments, etc. We treat her as family. We gave her a small Xmas gift and card earlier in the week.
This lady often babysits for SIL's two sons (3 and 7) as she doesn't use formal childcare. SIL does not invite her for her children's birthdays.
MIL mentioned in passing that friend had popped in and dropped off Xmas presents for SIL's kids. There was no gift for my DD.
Now, I know lots of MNers do not think stepchildren should be treated equally to bio children but AIBU to think that this was a bit thoughtless given that we have a nice relationship with this lady? She sees DD often and is always invited to our family events. I would never expect a gift for DD but it did sting that she got gifts for SIL's kids but not DD?
Again, this is not about the material gift, more the principle of my child being treated differently.