Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how to successfully cut down the amount of time I spend on my phone...

69 replies

PoppyBlunt · 26/12/2022 20:23

I spend far too much time on my phone every day. Some of it is, of course, productive (emails, appointments, life admin etc), but lots of it isn't. I've tried deleting apps but end up reinstalling hours later.
Has anyone managed to go from hours a day to a reasonable amount?
How did you do it and make it habitual??

OP posts:
cheeseisthebest · 26/12/2022 20:24

Following! I feel so guilty but am totally addicted. I did leave it my bag for 4 hours yesterday but I got very twitchy.

lbnblbnb · 26/12/2022 20:31

Me too (the irony of posting on here about it isn't lost on me....)

I have deleted lots of apps. Might try putting it in 'my' drawer in the kitchen in the evenings. I love reading - but am not reading. Love crochet/knitting. Love chatting to my OH and kids. Need to do it!

Draconis · 26/12/2022 20:35

I struggle with this as well. It's the lack of reading because I'm wasting too much time on my phone that makes me most annoyed.

I guess it's like dieting and having willpower or acquiring good habits.

Ideally, how would you like your phone usage to be? Use that as a baseline and try to stick to it. Then when you start drifting into overuse, you know what to navigate back to.

garlicandsapphires · 26/12/2022 20:35

I’m desperate to know the answer to this. I’d love to return to a Nokia but there’s so much on my phone I use - banking and satnav for example.
Im really thinking of getting rid of it cold turkey.

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 26/12/2022 20:38

Work in a prison!

We aren't allowed any devices in at all

Must say I enjoy engaging with people who aren't half looking at a screen.!

Fathercrossmas · 26/12/2022 20:40

The best way I've found is to create a phone jail, a little box somewhere where you get in a habit of putting it in there all day and only checking occassionally for messages.

I also took work email off it because I found myself checking and then forgetting the emails so it was worse than not checking them at all.

AFP10 · 26/12/2022 20:41

I've just tried a social media detox. I'm 4 days in, the longest I've been. It's been difficult. I've gone to click on the apps. Turned off notifications then changed screen colour, photo, order of folders etc so it looks and feels different. I have to be conscious of what I'm clicking on as all in different locations. That, will power, and a firm talking to myself seems to be working. It's bloody difficult though but I'm trying to focus on why I'm doing it (authentic relationships, being present, not giving social media ownership/expectation of my data/photos/DD).

But the irony of writing this on here is not lost on me. 1 hour at a time, then 1 day at a time......

Good luck.

Pothoswithasparkle · 26/12/2022 20:42

Stay focused app. You can block even settings so you can't unlock it and allow only some apps. You can also block individual websites

Swanna · 26/12/2022 20:43

Try the Forest app

Rotherweird · 26/12/2022 20:43

I get my teen to change the screen time passcode and add strict time limits for apps and Safari.

Draconis · 26/12/2022 20:44

Maybe we need a support group?
I'm going to put my phone down now and tidy and read

QueenLagertha · 26/12/2022 20:46

Ive been thinking about this a lot too!! Want to me more present for my children. Wish I could go back in time to when there was no smart phones etc
It's an addiction

pamplemoussee · 26/12/2022 20:46

Following I'm exactly the same I really really want to reduce my phone usage and feel it would help my mental health and be more present and also not set bad habits to my DC!!

I also miss reading a book which I'm
Not doing as I'm on my phone!!!

pamplemoussee · 26/12/2022 20:48

QueenLagertha · 26/12/2022 20:46

Ive been thinking about this a lot too!! Want to me more present for my children. Wish I could go back in time to when there was no smart phones etc
It's an addiction

Yes it definitely feels like this!! Like it's almost a part of my body and if I've lost it I'm a mess until I find it again Blush

c3pu · 26/12/2022 20:48

Turn it off and shove it in a drawer for a bit is my usual method when I need to be productive for a while...

I also make a point of leaving it in another room when I'm watching TV so I can concentrate on the big screen and not be distracted by the small one... Although I recently got a smart watch which has reduced the effectiveness, now I have an even smaller screen to look at!

PumpkinsMum18 · 26/12/2022 20:52

This was me! I was addicted to FB and insta. Spend hours scrolling through every post/story/group. Felt I knew the daily ins and outs of friends and their kids lives, some I haven’t physically spoken or seen for years. Quite weird really.

About a week ago, my DH had a go at me about always being on the phone so I decided enough was enough. I deactivated my accounts and deleted the apps off my phone. Haven’t looked at them since. I feel soooo much better! Don’t miss it at all. Especially around Xmas when everyone is posting about what they are doing and how great their lives are, or not!

I still have WhatsApp which I think is ok as it’s good to keep in touch with people who matter.

I even used Screen Time limit feature to restrict access to Mumsnet as that can lead to scrolling for hours, but as you can tell, that hasn’t worked as well! 😂

mynameisnotkate · 26/12/2022 20:54

I really need to do this. Feel like I’m wasting so much time with my phone - there’s so many things I want to be doing that I never get round to. I think this will be my big focus in the new year.

The trouble is they’re so much good with the bad. Mumsnet is such a time sink for me - but also I learn so much and get so much out of it.

Wazzzzzuuuuuuup · 26/12/2022 20:59

You could try physically locking your phone away using a lock box. lockabox.com/phone-locker-digital-detox-with-lockabox/

Dr Rangan Chatterjee has some great episodes on digital detoxing on his podcast Feel Better Live More

BertieBotts · 26/12/2022 21:03

Telling yourself "I just need to try harder to do this!" Is completely useless.

You need to work out what you're seeking from your phone and replace it. We tend to do what's easy first. So try and think through what you do on your phone and ask yourself loads of W- questions - what do you do, when do you do it, where are you when you use your phone, who are you trying to connect with on your phone. Just don't ask why, because that tends to inspire useless answers like "because it's easy" or "because I'm lazy"

Then you can see what you want to do instead. If you want to have another hobby, get something appealing and exciting for that hobby and put it somewhere accessible and visible. You're never going to start something if you have to go and find it in a dark cupboard, but if it's right there next to the sofa and looks appealing then you might.

If you want to be productive, try emphasising the goal in your mind. Phones hijack that short term dopamine which makes delayed gratification feel even less in reach. You know the marshmallow test, imagine the marshmallow test except it's with the most exquisite example of your favourite food and the wait time is a month. It would be really hard to resist - your phone does that to your long term goals. You want to bring it back in line with the easy task of resisting a stale, flat marshmallow for ten minutes by making your goal feel reachable - create a mood board, define small steps that you can tick off etc.

If you want to connect with people, who and how could you enable that? Make plans to meet people, phone or zoom, or join local activities if you want to meet new people.

PacificallyRequested · 26/12/2022 21:06

There's a book called How to Break Up With Your Phone. I bought it but haven't read it yet, hence still spending silly amounts of time online! So please report back if you do read it! Grin

Sunset6 · 26/12/2022 21:06

Set yourself rules. Eg: 1)Phone not allowed in your bedroom when you go there to sleep 2) No using the phone while eating 3) No using the phone while on the toilet 4) No using the phone when you are supposed to be working 5) No using the phone before 8am each morning etc etc.

BCxx · 26/12/2022 21:07

I’m really bad at this too! I have a toddler and said when I was pregnant that I was only going to check my phone when he was asleep 🙈 Yeah, that didn’t happen! I just hate the thought of him growing up and seeing me on my phone all the time. It’s just such a habit and a lot of the time I’m not doing anything on it. When I think back to the last really important message I received or life-changing thing I saw, I’d really struggle to be able to tell you any. It’s all just wasted time 🙄 The phone jail idea sounds like it might be worth a shot. I run my own business from home and work ridiculously long hours but I actually think without realising probably around half my day is wasted on my phone in between work!

Blendandmix · 26/12/2022 21:08

I've set time limits for apps- so mumsnet/insta/fb... this has really helped me buy I still need work: mostly to get off WhatsApp

Blendandmix · 26/12/2022 21:11

@Sunset6 this is a good idea. I waste so much time scrolling on the toilet!

tshirthunter · 26/12/2022 21:14

Another one here that needs to put the bloody thing done. I've bought a phone jail but it's still in its box! Will get it out tomorrow but am going to go and read my book now!