Received great advice here.. Dumped him but now I think he is beginning to 'hoover'

[stumpedmostly]

So he was starting to show signs of control, impatience, disdain and had given me the silent treatment for the third time. However this time, it was during a very difficult period of ill health for me. He let me down ,essentially. Punished me right before the op by ignoring my calls, withdrawing promises of care etc. That was it for me. I dumped him. He was quite nonchalant and went for a bit of DARVO but I ignored. He has now started to contact my friend and siblings thanking them for everything and how heartbreaking it is for him and wishing them a sad goodbye..... I got the same. Again, I ignored because as far as I was concerned, I had him blocked everywhere but clearly not on email which I cant seem to do. He is hoovering , right? What do I do now/ I'm quite soft and hate any hassle. Please help me this go away !!!!

Ignore him. When you see an email from him, just delete it. Don't read it, just bin. He's an a-hole & you don't need that in your life

Ignore. Do nothing, he will soon get bored and move on.

the twat i was married to did the same - contacting my friends to give them his take on his vile behaviour (he was arrested twice for it).
even though i'm 10000000000000000000000000000000% no contact i'm still left with ptsd and horrible mental health (especially at christmas) - so my point being even though you're going no contact, their behaviour can leave repurcussions for ages afterwards and that's really tough so i'm not sure what to say but i know how hard it is and draining.

i didn't know how to block someone on email but have a nosey and i'm sure it'll be there somewhere. i also went totally passive aggressive and changed the sign off of my emails back to my original name so that would have been a hopefuly slap round the face when his emails bounced back to him.

Get it automatically sent to spam folder.

If you can't work out how to do that or to block him, just Google it.

Honest question what is “hoovering” in this context @stumpedmostly ???

Keep records of everything, print outs of emails etc, just in case, but you can block emails or send them direct to junk.

I was told about hoovering on here..It's seemingly when the ex partner tries to get you back on board and fill you with similar shit all over again. Part of the script.

Well done for dumping the dbag.
Really good to see on here.
Please stay strong, remember he would always be just as shit as he was before and would most likely treat you even worse. They never improve. If you need to stay strong think about how much more peaceful life is without him.

My ex did the same - I say ex, we dated briefly for around 6 months (3.5 years ago). My friends responded by not replying and simply blocking him.

He still creates a new email address approx every 6 months to send me a ridiculously generic sad fishing emailing which he clearly BCCs to all of his ex’s in the hopes one of us is stupid enough to fall into his dicksand again.

Ignore him. Delete emails immediately without reading and then clear the spam filters/ trash can so you won’t be tempted to read them later. Contacting your family and friends is creepy and intrusive as fuck.

Have you told how siblings and friends how he treated you? I suggest being honest with friends/family so they can support you and remind you want he did and that you deserve much better. You just have to get through this tough patch, it will get easier if you just white-knuckle this part. It may also be helpful to understand that abusive relationships are harder to leave because of the inconsistency in how you were treated, look up operant conditioning/intermittent reinforcement. Just know you can do this and it gets easier.

He'd treat you even worse if you went back to him as he'd know how to keep you interested.