To expect my children to sleep in the same room without fucking about for hours?

[MilkyYay]

When we visit family (various) our DC (aged 3 & 5) need to share a room.

Its fucking impossible. Youngest especially is a complete arsehole. Off the walls. Eldest is amused/encourages her fucking about after bedtime for a while, then ends up in tears tired, youngest gets increasingly hyper, its a nightmare for everyone. Both are then shattered the next day which spoils most plans we make - day trips etc. DH and I are supposed to be enjoying a nice meal downstairs with DM & DF, or DSis& DBIL, and instead one/both of us spends from 7 -10pm trying to get the fucking children to just go to sleep.

Youngest seems completely unable to switch off and go to sleep unless in a room in pitch dark in silence with no one in earshot. We've tried earlier bedtimes. Later bedtimes etc. We allow time for quiet stories before bed.

It ruins visits to family.

Any advice on how we can manage this going forward? Especially for tips on how to help a bonkers 3 year old chill out/slow down a bit? She is just permanently off the walls.

I find making it more routine has helped so they're not so excited, so once a week they'll have a sleepover in one of their rooms.

I like this idea in theory but right now im not sure i can face it once a week

We have my husbands little brother here, so he’s sharing a room with our seven year old, we’re up early tomorrow so no late night tonight, they went to bed at 8:30 (an hour ahead here) and they’ve been a complete pain in the arse since. They’ll both be a pain the arse tomorrow as they’ll be tired.

You stay in the room until they are asleep. You tell whichever one off as soon as they aren't getting to sleep.

If we did this, youngest will happily resist sleep for hours, and will take the telling off over giving in to sleep. Its like if there is someone in the room she MUST talk!

My sympathies @simonjt Welcome to the club.

I think this is pretty normal to be honest! Sorry.

The excitement of being somewhere different, being in a room together etc. I think you have to lower your expectations and just accept that you’ll have less adult time together.

Will the younger one fall asleep in the car if you go for a drive? Occasionally had to resort to this!!

If you’re sleeping on the sofa bed, ask the family member if you can just get the 3yo to sleep on their bed and transfer as soon as both are asleep. I feel your pain. It’s bloody annoying.

U need to separate them and then carry youngest one through when in a deep sleep.

I just had similar last night. We had her cousin stay over so I had 2 x 5yr olds and a 3yr old that was determined she was sleeping in with the big girls 🙈 Never again, she kept them up and kept coming back downstairs so I had to take her in my bed to get to sleep by which time was 10pm. She was hysterical but well she did go to sleep within 5mins was shattered. Next time I won't give her the opportunity to go in with them, I thought she might be ok but not a chance 😂

You sound like you are all class. Poor kid calling him an arsehole.

Safe space, using humour to diffuse her frustration and looking for advice that will benefit her kids. I think she sounds like a decent person. That's not the conclusion I draw about you , that you feel the need to post this comment.