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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what rights my mum has and what hope?

21 replies

Stickworm · 26/12/2022 18:20

Hi all, hoping someone with similar experience or knowledge can help. My mum wants to leave my stepdad (it’s been quite the Christmas 😅) - they bought a house around 2 years ago now. My mum put in £340k and my stepdad put in £170k. He is saying there is no way she’ll get more than half of the house if they sell. Frustratingly she didn’t get anything in writing but there will be a paper trail of how much she put in. Any idea of her rights?

Long story is they have been together for around 20 years and the majority of that time he has emotionally and financially abused her. He didn’t work for 5 years if that time so she had to support him with a tiny wage as she is essentially disabled and can’t work a 9-5. He bullied her into remortgaging her flat years ago to pay off ‘their’ (his) debts. He has been unfaithful in the last few years. When he met her he had nothing but charm and moved in with her, it’s gone downhill ever since. His dad passed away a few years ago and left an inheritance hence having £170k to put in for the house. For years we’ve all tried to persuade her to leave but I think she finally feels strong enough (after being sworn at all of Christmas Day out of ear shot of others which he’s good at). It may be hard to believe she’s put up with it this long but he is an absolute master manipulator and gaslighter. Luckily they’re not married but I’m keen to know her rights to see what she’s getting into.

Appreciate it’s Boxing Day and everyone is probably enjoying the merriment as she should be so apologies for the downer!

OP posts:
Sonyrecording · 26/12/2022 18:21

I'm not sure it's a case of "luckily they are not married". The only advice I can offer is to get her to a solicitor asap.

Original poster
Stickworm · 26/12/2022 18:21

enjoying the merriment as she you should be

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/12/2022 18:22

She needs to see a solicitor. No one here can advise properly.

Original poster
Stickworm · 26/12/2022 18:22

@Sonyrecording oh I just meant luckily she doesn’t have to go through a divorce as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stickworm · 26/12/2022 18:23

@TestingTestingWonTooFree of course, and she will do. I’m asking if anyone has any knowledge or similar experience.

OP posts:
Towcat15 · 26/12/2022 18:24

Im not married to my ex and my solicitor said a court would view assets as 50:50 whereas if we were married they would be more likely to consider what contributions each of us had made as to what we could walk away with but we have two small children to consider.

best she get legal advice asap op.

Original poster
Stickworm · 26/12/2022 18:26

Thanks @Towcat15 thats helpful (albeit disheartening 😞)

OP posts:
Nopeforme · 26/12/2022 18:29

How do they own the house- joint tenants or tenants in common? If it's tenants in common, what % does each have?

Is there a mortgage on it?

Shamoo · 26/12/2022 18:30

Do they own the house equally? No deed of trust re: the different investments, or different % ownership?

Nopeforme · 26/12/2022 18:32

I found this onlinr about joint tenants (I suspect they own it this way).

When you buy a property as joint tenants, it means you both own the property equally. It does not matter if one person has paid 80% of the deposit or is contributing more towards the mortgage repayments. As joint tenants, your ownership is completely equal.

I suggest she sees a solicitor about whether her higher contribution counts for anything when splitting the asset.

Villagetoraiseachild · 26/12/2022 18:32

Its wonderful that she has found the courage to leave tho. There was a similar thread just recently, tho details not the same, you may be able to get something from that, but general bottom line is, get legal help asap. Other thread title is, 'Mums boyfriend kicking her out after twenty four years'. Good Luck to your Mum.

Aprilx · 26/12/2022 18:35

If they bought the property as joint tenants then they automatically own it 50:50, so he is right in that case.

Hopefully they bought it as tenants in common with the ownership reflected as 66:33 to reflect their contributions.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 26/12/2022 18:35

She needs to find out whether they are joint tenants or tenants in common. If Tenants in common then there will have been a % agreement when they bought the property. If joint tenants then not.

Genegenieee · 26/12/2022 18:35

You need to find out asap how the property is held, and if it is held as joint tenants and so that capital arising on sale is split 50:50, then you also need to find out if she was separately (to her partner) advised by a solicitor when they bought the property - & what was the advice she was given.

As they were putting in different amounts, if that is not recognised in the way the house is held between them or in some documentation as to their entitlement to any capital in the house, then I think she should have been separately advised by a solicitor.

Princessglittery · 26/12/2022 18:54

Your Mum can sever the joint tenancy at any time without her partners agreement. However, she needs legal advice before doing this as without a deed of trust it would default to 50:50.

Dixiechickonhols · 26/12/2022 18:57

If it’s only 2 yrs ago she’ll remember and have paperwork re how she bought house. That’s the crucial but - joint tenants or tenants in common. I’d suggest she contacts a solicitor when they reopen 3/1.
CAB has good guide online marriage v cohabitation.

bumpytrumpy · 26/12/2022 19:15

The "joint tenants" or "tenants in common" is pretty much the only thing that matters here with regards sharing out the house equity.

Her paying off his debts and everything else has no legal standing. She can move any money that's in joint accounts into her own name when she leaves. Everything that in each of their sole names will remain that way when they split.

No marriage, no legal obligations to divide assets other than how they were entered into. Ie his debt is his debt. What's hers is hers.

bumpytrumpy · 26/12/2022 19:16

Towcat15 · 26/12/2022 18:24

Im not married to my ex and my solicitor said a court would view assets as 50:50 whereas if we were married they would be more likely to consider what contributions each of us had made as to what we could walk away with but we have two small children to consider.

best she get legal advice asap op.

JOINT assets yes. Sole assets (or debts) wouldn't be shared if not married.

RiaG91 · 26/12/2022 19:25

Stickworm · 26/12/2022 18:20

Hi all, hoping someone with similar experience or knowledge can help. My mum wants to leave my stepdad (it’s been quite the Christmas 😅) - they bought a house around 2 years ago now. My mum put in £340k and my stepdad put in £170k. He is saying there is no way she’ll get more than half of the house if they sell. Frustratingly she didn’t get anything in writing but there will be a paper trail of how much she put in. Any idea of her rights?

Long story is they have been together for around 20 years and the majority of that time he has emotionally and financially abused her. He didn’t work for 5 years if that time so she had to support him with a tiny wage as she is essentially disabled and can’t work a 9-5. He bullied her into remortgaging her flat years ago to pay off ‘their’ (his) debts. He has been unfaithful in the last few years. When he met her he had nothing but charm and moved in with her, it’s gone downhill ever since. His dad passed away a few years ago and left an inheritance hence having £170k to put in for the house. For years we’ve all tried to persuade her to leave but I think she finally feels strong enough (after being sworn at all of Christmas Day out of ear shot of others which he’s good at). It may be hard to believe she’s put up with it this long but he is an absolute master manipulator and gaslighter. Luckily they’re not married but I’m keen to know her rights to see what she’s getting into.

Appreciate it’s Boxing Day and everyone is probably enjoying the merriment as she should be so apologies for the downer!

Hi Stickworm

I'm a paralegal and so I can offer some information on this.

If they're not married then it's a lot simpler than if they were. Essentially:

  1. Firstly, you need to clarify whose name is on the mortgage (if applicable)
  2. When the property was purchased the paperwork will have been completed as either: Joint Tenants (50/50) or Tenants in Common (a %).

I'm hoping that due to the difference of equity that each party contributed, it was purchased as tenants in common as this would protect your mothers contribution.

If it was purchased as joint tenants, then it's a case of 50/50 and I'd suggest your mother seeking guidance from a solicitor to determine if she could go down the route of evidencing significant contributions to try and seek more value from the property.

I hope this helps!

Original poster
Stickworm · 26/12/2022 22:55

Thank you @RiaG91 thats really super helpful

OP posts:
Aprilx · 26/12/2022 23:18

Stickworm · 26/12/2022 22:55

Thank you @RiaG91 thats really super helpful

They only said the same as several other people. 😆

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