To think this might be a deeper issue

[Sadfatmum]

I’ve struggled with my weight since I was a teen, I’m actually naturally fairly petite and as a child was very slim, the issue is that I’m a compulsive eater and have a shocking sweet tooth.
ever since I was a teen I’ve just steadily gained more and more weight, losing little bits here and there along the way, staying the same for long periods but then gaining again. Doing fad diet after fad diet, never sticking to anything for more than a few weeks. I am physiologically completely capable of losing weight but mentally I just can’t get over the hurdle.
i have an almost 2 year old, got diagnosed with gestational diabetes when pregnant which carries with it a huge increased risk of type 2 diagnosis within 10 or so years of birthing baby. I KNOW that I will develop type 2, probably pre diabetic right now as my diet is a disaster and I barely exercise. I feel unfit and unhealthy.

my child is the most important thing in the world to me, the thought of not being around for them because of something I could change almost takes my breath away and yet still I am unable to implement the changes I need to live s healthier life. The thought of being unwell and dying from obesity related issues or ill health terrifies me, but why does this not motivate me enough to change my lifestyle? I don’t know how much I currently weigh but I’m a size 20 and not at all healthy.
when I had gestational diabetes I lost a lot of weight during pregnancy due to having to cut out sugar and carbs and as a result looked amazing immediately after giving birth, felt incredible but it ruined the pregnancy for me as I almost felt I had nothing to look forward to without my treat foods and chocolate to look forward to, hence since the birth I never really stopped making up for it and just gained and gained. Has anyone else been in a similar position and lost weight permanently?

i desperately want to look and feel healthier, and desperately want my child to have the fit and healthy mummy they deserve but I just don’t know what to do, why do I keep putting my love of junk food above my own child?? What’s wrong with me?

It seems to me like you have some psychological issues related to food; for you to go as far as saying that your pregnancy was 'ruined' because you couldn't eat treat foods like chocolate.

I would suggest some food type therapy, it sounds like you need to change your mindset when it comes to eating. You don't need to cut out everything, it's about everything in moderation. A diet won't help you, you need to change your lifestyle and attitude towards food on a fundamental level and make a complete life change in this regard.

You need to stop equating "treat" food with happiness. These foods are not treats, they're damaging your health and may shorten your life with your child.

Can you get decent therapy to help support you?

Complusive eating can be a disorder, just like bulimia or anorexia, it would be good to make a GP appointment to explore if it is more than just habit, therapy and perhaps medication could help.

So therapy seems to be the common theme here, I hand thought about it on and off for years, I gave never seriously considered taking the plunge though but I think now might be the time to do that. I assume I can access this from a GP appointment as a first port of call?

If you can afford it I would speak to a dietician. You definitely don't want to be cuting out carbs or any other major food group unless advised to by a medical professional. You also don't want to reduce your calorie intake too much as you'll just rebound and overshoot. A good dietician will also deal with the emotional aspects of eating. Some work in conjuction with therapists. My friend had Binge eating disorder and worked with a therapist and dietician with an online eating disorder group (I think called insight eating) and found it helpful.

Have you looked at NOOM? www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiwgJyrkpj8AhXJSsAKHT1NC50QFnoECAwQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheconversation.com%2Fthree-ways-behavioural-psychology-might-help-you-lose-weight-156257&usg=AOvVaw3pUENuHpob_8wlWsszA044