AIBU to be annoyed at BIL and SIL for this?

[RavenclawsPrincess]

Called MIL yesterday, and it’s apparent she’s very unwell - awful cough, she was short of breath, had a fever. Ended up persuading her to call 111, she went to the walk in centre and they said they think she may have a secondary chest infection or possibly even pneumonia, prescribed antibiotics and steroids, and if her breathing doesn’t improve in a couple of days she’ll have to go to A&E/possible hospital admission. So it’s not a trivial illness.

Up until Christmas Eve morning MIL was with BIL and SIL and DGCs, she’d gone down there to help out because BIL and SIL were both working until Thursday. She was clearly very unwell while there and said she didn’t feel fit to travel home, but they insisted she had to go home because SIL’s family were coming and there wasn’t room for everyone. MIL doesn’t drive so she had to spend 4hrs on a coach when she was really sick, therefore probably also infecting everyone else.

BIL and SIL have called her once…to ask MIL to let them know if she can come down to babysit during February half term when they called! DH and I spent a fair bit of time yesterday persuading her to call 111/go to the walk in, that she wouldn’t be “bothering people” to seek medical attention on Christmas Day, and finding out which pharmacies were open so MIL’s DP could go get her prescriptions (both are in their 70s and not good with technology).

AIBU to be a bit effed off with BIL and SIL for putting a very sick 72 y o on a 4hr coach because they didn’t want to look after her over Christmas had other guests coming, and also not even bothering to ask how she’s doing?

They sound horrible and selfish. Unfortunately, if she doesn't stand up for herself they will continue to take advantage, unless you are there to step in (but that's not your job). What horrible, grabby people they both sound.

Can't believe someone voted YABU. 🙄Would love to hear why?

I'd be absolutely fucking fuming and your DH really needs to give his brother a bollocking. Who does that to their own mother?!

That is absolutely cruel -they are such users. I hope she refuses to babysit again

How was she when she was there . Know loads of people with bud that seems to be doing the rounds
generally unwell for few days then peaks and floors them for 24 hours

They sound vile, selfish fuckers. I agree with a previous poster, your dh needs to be having it out with his brother.

@rwalker MIL said she started feeling unwell on the Thursday, was just “under the weather” then on Friday felt wiped out and spent most of the day in bed. According to her, she had a temperature and a hacking cough by the Saturday when she was meant to go home. BIL told DH he “didn’t think she was that bad” when DH told him yesterday how ill she was. The only thing she didn’t have on the Saturday when she went home was the shortness of breath, that started yesterday.

She did have a virus a few weeks ago and told us she didn’t really feel recovered from it, so perhaps this is something secondary that’s developed from that.

@Penguinsaregreat yep, I don’t always see eye to eye with my MIL and she can be a bit difficult - I know SIL struggles with her. But on this one I think they’ve treated her appallingly. And if I were SIL’s family, I’d have willingly delayed my visit to accommodate looking after a sick person, or got a hotel instead. There is a hotel round the corner that’s open all over Christmas, FIL stayed there last year. It’s rarely fully booked - and BIL/SIL are not short of money, neither are SIL’s family.

They do sound awful, would yr dh giving his dB a bollocking acheive anything though? Whats done is done, I'm not sure what you hope can be achieved now.

Sounds as if you have unrealistic expectations of them.

Absolutely horrible of them.

I’m not sure you’ve got the full or correct story from your MIL.

There’s a huge difference between someone that had to be cajoled over a “fair bit of time yesterday to call 111/go to the walk in”, versus someone who was so unwell they could barely get out of bed, clearly expressed that they were too ill to travel home, and yet was booted out and sent on a 4 hour coach trip by a heartless child.

Doesn’t quite ring true to me and not something I’d choose to fall out with your BIL and SIL over.

@BornIn78 MIL does have form for drama, to be fair, and can do that “I don’t want to be a bother” thing at times. She really did sound awful yesterday though. They do have form for selfish behaviour though as much as MIL has form for being a bit passive aggressive. Perhaps it’s a little of both. SIL’s family are always prioritised at Christmas as well. God forbid any of them be put out, even for a sick parent on the other side. I’ve only met SIL’s mum a couple of times, but she also seems like a drama queen and probably would have kicked off if she had to change plans to accommodate MIL.