To make 2023 the year I become a hugger?

[Badhip]

I've never been a hugger and Covid has been good for me in that respect.

I work in a huggy environment and I belong to two clubs with lots of huggers, I've always kept myself a bit distant. Most people understand I'm not a hugger even though I've rarely said it out loud.

However DH died, my sons left home and I now get barely any physical contact at all. Yesterday morning I was at a community event with some of the huggers and whilst they were only really offering a little lean in, hands on shoulders type hug, because they know me, I lent in for a couple of really good bear hugs. It was possibly the best bit of my day.

I feel a proper cow now that I hadn't previously realised how important a hug can be. I'm not about to start hugging people who don't want it, but this is the year to have a personality change and start accepting those hugs?

When I started writing this I thought it was tounge in cheek, but I find I'm deadly serious!

I was unsure when I first opened this but a genuine good on you!

Definitely. I think it will be good for you. I'm sorry for your loss.
Big hug from me xxx

When I saw the title I was like "Noooo! Don't be forced to conform!" (I hate hugs too)

But yes! Go for it! Get the hugs, and it really won't even be a challenge, people are really eager to hug

we change - I used to not mind hugs, now I hate them. I originally thought the discomfort I felt was related to getting used to not being hugged during covid - turns out it was breast cancer.

Being hugged or not is a big thing, either way, and if its right for you, go for it! I am sure you are sensitive enough not to impose them on people for whom hugging is not the right thing at that particular time of their life

xx

You don't need to feel like a cow for not being a hugger. And you don't need to "be a hugger" or "not be a hugger".

This reminds me of book where someone says yes to every invite for a year? I only read the articles but it is about being more open to new things. I did something similar and it makes you feel much more relaxed socially, so it could absolutely improve your life if you want it to. I am sorry for your loss and I hope 2023 is a lovely year for you!

As long as you're only hugging other huggers that sounds like a fine idea.

I'm a selective hugger.
I happily hug family & close friends but recoil from people who want to hug you on first meeting; it seems false and feels invasive. I also swerve to avoid acquaintances hugs; it feels too close foe the contact & relationship we have.

You do whatever suits you; maybe start off as a selective hugger & see how it goes? Or just leap in and hug everyone?
There's no right or wrong but do read the body language of those you are hugging as not everyone likes it, as you know from your past.

I've just sent a year of saying yes and it has been amazing. Loads of "aquaintances" have moved onto friends and I've been to lots of new places and done lots of new things.

Very good idea. Hugging releases happy hormones doesn’t it? Especially if it’s 30 seconds, so if you can find someone who loves to hug you back all the better!

Isn't 30 seconds a really long hug?

I read once 6 seconds is the magic amount of hug to make a difference! But even that would be too long for an acquaintance for me! It's good with people you know and love though.

I am a hugger (for those who want it - am always as careful as possible in reading body language when meeting/seeing someone, esp. since Covid).

I hadn't realised how lovely it was until the pandemic and for various boring reasons I went weeks without human contact.

Some of my colleagues got a bit tipsy at our Christmas party and gave big, lovely bear hugs when we were all leaving. A fab feeling and one I will remember.

Its a fabulous new year's resolution.

I'm not so sure
A lot of my friends currently have Covid
I don't feel the need to hug now I used to be selective now none at all!!

I’m the opposite. I hate hugging and I’m making a concerted effort to stop people hugging (and kissing) me. Someone at the gym of all places, came looming in for a hug to say Happy Christmas. I’m proud of myself as I said ‘don’t hug me!’. After a lifetime of accepting unwanted hugs, I feel I’m making progress.

I only want hugs from my husband and kids. No-one else.

This made me smile, because this was actually my resolution for the year 2020 - look how that turned out! But I felt similarly. I’ve tried to accept more hugs, I still find it hard but it’s a brilliant goal and you should absolutely do it 🙂