Would you say something or let it go?

[hipposinacircle]

My son died earlier this year. He was 4. Yesterday was our first Christmas without him. It was awful.

I had a lot of kind messages throughout the day from friends and family letting us know that they were thinking of us, etc. But I didn't hear a single thing from the group of girls that I am (supposedly) closest to. We have a WhatsApp group that we predominantly use and it was radio silence all day.

I'm genuinely upset by this. I appreciate everyone has their own lives to be getting on with and Christmas is manic for lots of people, but would it have taken too much to just send a quick message. I feel like my little boy is being forgotten about already.

I am tempted to send a message to the group to tell them how I'm feeling. Or should I just chalk it up to them being otherwise distracted on a busy day. They are usually very supportive which is why I'm particularly taken aback not to have heard from them.

I don’t think anyone “should” expect contact from anyone on Christmas Day. It can be a difficult day for many people. Even a generic “happy Christmas” message would be possibly inappropriate and upsetting. They no doubt wanted to give you time and privacy.

I'm so sorry. It must be unimaginably hard.

I'm not surprised you're hurt, but I wonder if it's worth letting their oversight go since they've otherwise been so supportive.

I honestly can't say whether I'd do this. But I think you can be reassured that they haven't forgotten your little boy, based on all the other times they're supportive.

How awful for you, I cannot even imagine the pain if that.
When it comes to awful things like this people i think tend to be quiet due to fear of interrupting a rare moment of joy with a reminder. Even a well meant and supportive comment can bring you back to sadness and im sure there’s also a degree of not knowing what to say.
honestly unless you’ve been through it i dont think you’d best know how to support someone else through it. I would chalk it up to not knowing how best to support you and not give it anymore thought. Xx

Big love OP.
I don’t know you obviously, but your post has really torn at my heartstrings.

I hope you can take some comfort in happy memories of your cherished little boy and that yoi speak of him often

💐💐💐

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I also think they left you alone as they know how hard it is. And didn’t wish to cause you more pain. I don’t think this was malicious or uncaring.

💐

I am so very sorry for your loss OP, yesterday must have been incredibly hard for you.

I wonder whether they may have struggled with whether or not it was the right thing to message you? Could it be that they thought you would be having a difficult enough day without them mentioning it further?

I wouldn't confront them today, they are good friends who will probably be mortified to realise that their silence upset you so much. Maybe a gentle conversation in person in the new year instead to let them know you were hurting and would have appreciated knowing you were in their thoughts?