To want to scale Christmas down?

[malificent7]

This year we agreed on no adult gifts apart from my dad and dp.

But the sheer excess has still bit me on the arse again! Don't get me wrong, i had a lovely time but next year i dream of spending Christmas in front of a log fire eating cheese and crackers with very little else.

Got to make it magic for the kids tho.

Hard to know whether YABU without knowing what you're already doing!

My kids are all older teen + and this year I did the usual amount of presents. Never again. Next year they are getting a couple of presents and cash instead. I’m not going up and down into the loft, spending hours wrapping anymore.
Neither am I buying the amount of food that I’ve done for years.
‘Next year I’m doing a full English for brunch, and a little buffet for dinner. Much easier.

I dream of not having to entertain everyone.
Yesterday was the full traditional fiasco which I hate, for the in-laws and SIL .I’ve never been a fan of roast dinners anyway and they like all their food cooked to death, soggy veg etc.
Today is better but still a lot if work for my side of the family. Gammon and poached salmon to cook and cold buffet to put together.

Roll on tomorrow.

We got the present giving right this year I think- took a picture of the dses with the present ls and thought it wasn’t ott but they were happy out with them. Food was another story- there is a disgusting amount of chocolate here- everyone gave selection boxes, we bought too many tins of sweets etc. Next year I’ll get it wrong the other way and I’ll be craving more! I’ve done the properly pared back Christmas, saying all it is is about the break from work and school, the board games and the tv but actually it was a bit January like!!!

Kids don't need stacks and stacks of present to make it "magical". The magical part is that the presents magically appear while they're sleeping, not the fact that there are lots of them.

Mine had a stocking of little gifts and then about 4 other presents and they had a great day. I think you have to choose carefully though - things that will keep them busy and things they wouldn't usually have. They will have a few more to open from family we visit today and tomorrow.

There's making it nice for the kids and there's going way overboard for the kids. Where are you currently on this scale?

Looking back at my childhood Christmases I don’t remember the presents I got, or that they came with any type of magical feelings. What I do remember fondly is grilling hotdogs for lunch over logs in the snow (grew up in Sweden), sledging, the evening meal, playing with my siblings and cousins and the fact I could stay up for as long as I wanted.

My kids have only ever had a stocking and a couple of presents to open, and I have never made it the focal point of Christmas. Now my kids are older we focus on spending time together, eating well and playing board games or doing jigsaws.

Dd is 14 so no longer believes in santa bit i do love doing a stocking. It's not so much the gifts, but the food...oh well!

Yes we had a more pared down one this year and it felt so good. Kids still had an awesome time. I want to host next year, so will be big in some ways but I also want to research yule, celebrating and brightening up winter itself etc.

Ok so the food is bothering you. Yes I can see this can get out of hand easily. Could you do a smaller roast next year? And get less stuff for any buffet you have? It does bug me a bit that we end up with so much food tbh but I usually end up keeping some back when I put it out.

DD and I stayed at home this year as I just fancied a low-key Christmas Day in comparison to the busy, fraught, overindulgence of extended family Christmas. It was lovely and laid back and we had time to open presents one by one and enjoy looking at them, took her new bike out for a ride and had another walk in the evening after dinner so lots of fresh air.

I kept it simple food wise: our normal breakfast just with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice as a treat. Quick lunch of nice bread with smoked salmon and salad, then cheese. Did a roast duck for dinner but kept it simple without tons of sides, then mince pies for pudding. We didn’t have any nibbles or sweets in between the meals (DD could have if she’d wanted) and it was so nice not to feel grimly over-full. If I’d been with family I’d have eaten so much more and had things like crisps and dips, chocolate etc. as well as eating three meals. Once the food is put in front of me I don’t have the self control not to overeat but when I’m at home I’m not bothered about getting this stuff out.

I had Christmas on my own this year. Everyone I know seemed to think it was weird but I thought it was wonderful! I had a fabulous cheese platter and cuddles with my cats.

We have a big meal but it’s all designed to provide leftovers to eat for the next few days.

The kids don’t get huge number of presents now - the grandparents now have more grandchildren thank god - but they were so happy with what they got (stockings and 3 presents under the tree).

i think maybe you take a look at everything you do - list it out - then strike through anything consumerist and see what’s left. That’s where the real magic will be.

after the disaster this years has been so far I am thinking of scaling mine back to zero next year.

What part stresses you?
Decorating the tree? Get a pop up one
Hosting? Don't host, visit family on other days.
The main meal? Just do a normal roast with crackers on the side.
Excess chocolate and sweet treats? Stick them in a cupboard and have them throughout the year.
Having to do everything yourself? Clearly express your expectations and delegate jobs at the start of the Christmas period and during the big day - no you shouldn't have to do this but the number of threads on lone Christmas work suggests it needs doing.

Christmas is only as stressful as you make it.

I refuse to host which helps, obviously COVID year we did it just as a family which was nice but apart from that I've never cooked a turkey for anyone! There are others in the family who love entertaining and hosting so we let them get on with it, turn up, eat, help clear up a bit and head off once we get tired. We buy very little Xmas food as a result and for me as the 'normal' cook it's far more relaxing than most people seem to have it. I think if I was forced to host I'd just outsource and go to a restaurant!

We scaled little things back this year.
Fewer decorations up as DD finds them over-stimulating
Used amazon gift bags to cut back on wrapping
Fewer chocolates all round
Only some of our 'best' dinner service used, and more every day stuff (that helps as a pain to get out, wash up and put away).
No trifle or fruit salad available (and in fact we didn't have dessert at all)
It was a nice relaxed day.

But we were only 3 and I missed being 7 as in the years pre covid.

Will definitely be cutting back on food next year. Presents scaled back already this year.
I'm guilty of buying too much food when there's only 3 of us and we go away to visit family 2 or 3 days after Christmas day. We didn't even make a dent in the cockerel we had for dinner yesterday and the fridge is full of leftovers to make into a bubble and sqeak type fry up today. We only tucked in to ham and cheese last night because it was there - no one really needed it. Still plenty left over which needs using up before tomorrow night.

We also scaled back on food. I just can't bring myself to pay the prices of much of the Christmas food, and I haven't had time to make my own. We had 6 for Christmas so bought a turkey to serve 6 and it was just right. no leftovers except a few potatoes and slices of pizza from the evening.

Hope things get better for you x

This is perhaps the most useful, straightforward advice I've ever seen in a reply. I'd quite like to employ you as a life coach 🤣

I didn’t do a massive turkey this year - just a crown, which just felt like doing a roast chicken, so easy peasy!! Then just my usual Sunday lunch type side dishes: nothing too time consuming, plus a couple of store bought sides like red cabbage and pigs in blankets. Also managed not to massively over cater for the first time in about 4 years! The children had stockings and 6 tree presents. Honestly could have just done 4-5 per child. A dinosaur sticker book was probably the highlight for my 5 year old 😆 I had originally just got the children 4 presents each then felt like it wasn’t enough and got 2 extra. In hindsight the extra stuff was unnecessary and gave no real extra joy. Will aim for 4, possibly 5 next year, to include one being a little packing books and sticker books. Such an easy win.
This year was my easiest Christmas since having children I think.

I voted yabu, because you have control over how many presents, and how much food you buy.

We've already decided that next year we will rent a cottage in the middle of nowhere and Christmas is going to be scaled back. The kids no longer believe in santa but the look of horror on their faces when we suggested it😂 The money spent on Christmas this year would go a long way to paying for a holiday without the stresses of present buying,food shopping, wrapping presents and entertaining. At Christmas it's nice to spend time with family but yesterday seemed like such a rush I don't feel like I saw then until about 7pm and by that time I just wanted to sleep 😅

@Glittertrauma my mum and my brother work for a supermarket so don't finish until midnight on Christmas eve. So mum asked us what our favourite thing about Christmas was and then we went from there to make sure all the important things were covered and to stop doing the things that we don't really care about. I run around and pick up the groceries etc on the run up to Christmas as I get 2 weeks off.

My dad likes a roast turkey crown.
We all love pigs in blankets.
I like board games after dinner
My mum likes a tree but not the faff of putting a big one up so changed to a pop up tree.
My DD likes the Christmas crockery with the chocolates and crisps out.
My brother likes a picky dinner with left overs on boxing day so we have that with our favourite foods but nothing that takes masses of preparation.
None of us are fussed about alcohol.
We get given our specific jobs so we don't get in the way.

So that's what we do, it's very low key, I live a few doors from my parents though so it's not a huge homecoming as we see them almost daily. So that might make a difference.

At our home DD likes Christmas lights but not the stress of keeping the cat away from the tree who eats through the bauble strings and thinks lots of Christmas decorations are too overwhelming for our small home so we have lots of lights and a few ornaments but not much else.