I didn’t ask my 4 year old for a Christmas list

[Tweetytweet]

Am I in the wrong?
Most people I know seem to have asked what their children wanted, even 3/4 year olds.

Instead I just bought things I think he’d like and things he’s into.

Didn't ask my 4yo. No-one to my knowledge has ever asked him, until we went to see Father Christmas a few days ago and he was asked then. Fortunately my DS replied with a present that we'd already bought him!

Do whatever works for you, OP!

I read a tip once - keep a running list on your phone of presents they ask throughout the year, asking them if they want to add it to their Santa list. Then go through it with them - it’s more considering what they’ve already thought of, not a list based on the last advert they saw or the last present their friend got. DC is too young still but I liked it and thought i would try it.

I think next year they will want to write a list but you just make sure you steer it.

Write a couple of small things on it. It's handy to pin it down so they can't spring anything new two days before Christmas!

I drop hints in the day before we write it to steer them towards things I know they might want and encourage 'ideas for Santa' rather than it being exact.

We always stress you won't get all of it and that Santa surprises are great. Sometimes they ask for a surprise or something in a theme like 'surprise lego'.

We've usually asked DD, and we can't recollect her ever having any suggestions - certainly nothing major. Maybe not having a television was partly responsible. I guess if she'd been a child who had "wants" we probably wouldn't have needed to ask.
When she was 3.5 and had no ideas, I asked if she'd like her own reel of sellotape. She thought it was a great idea, and told everyone who asked her what she thought she might be getting for Christmas. (She did get some, in a box with child-scissors, activity paper, stickers, etc.)

We were never encouraged to do letters to Santa as children - I don't think we had any idea that one could request things. Our parents did ask us if there was anything we particularly wanted from them, and made sure we knew the budget and had access to the Argos catalogue.

DD (4) would put all kinds of cheap plastic toys on her list that would get ignored after Christmas Day. I got her a couple of bigger gifts that I know she will use. She’s absolutely delighted with them. DD (12) however is a different story- I give her a budget and ask her for a list. She gets the things on the list and a couple of surprises.

Three DC, youngest is 10, so we've had a fair few Christmases. We've never ever done lists, it just doesn't sit right with me. Sometimes a DC might be really keen on a specific thing, and we will get it for them, if it's within reason. But I'd say 9/10 times they enjoy surprises based on their interests and things they enjoy.

We've never gone all in on the whole Father Christmas thing though, so that helps in terms of not needing a list!

I asked my 3yo a few times. She repeatedly changed her mind, or just said 'I want 2 presents!' with tone and body language as if she thought that was totally outrageous 😂
The only constant was a chocolate santa 😂

I bought a few things she'd seen lately and loved but we didn't buy at the time, and a few things kids (of similar people i follow on social media) thus age at the time had loved receiving this year. I also try for open ended toys as much as possible, especially as I'd really like to encourage/expand her independent play next year.
I second the photo taking. If she sees something in a shop and I'm not prepared to buy it, I say let's take a photo of you with it so we can remember how much you like it! Stick them in a separate photo folder on my phone, and can buy it/similar when relevant

DD has been able to articulate fairly clear ideas about what she would like since she was about three. This year, it was 'a house for my Barbies' which was easy enough, if a little uninspiring. The first time she requested a specific gift, though, it was 'a duck that runs round in circles'. That tested my SEO skills. Got a clockwork one off Amazon, though, hoping it was roughly the right thing, and she loved it. Most of Christmas morning spent chasing it around the kitchen floor which was great fun for anyone not involved with Christmas dinner. So rather than a formal 'list', we'll do a conversation to get some ideas and, if necessary, manage expectations a little bit. We also get lots of surprises, usually inspired by the things she's been talking about from school (ancient Egypt this year, space in the past).