In love with someone I can’t be with

[Skyyee]

Been seeing somebody for six months, casual, we get on great and he’s very loving and affectionate, great sex. Been sat thinking and I’ve fallen for him but I can’t be with him. He’s divorced. I’m a single parent and he’s much older than me. Would never work but my feelings for him are very strong. Just need some advice as I want to carry on seeing him but just don’t know what to do

If you want more than something casual then you have a couple of options:

1. You talk to him, be honest about wanting to try taking the relationship further and he agrees so you take it slowly.
2. Same conversation as above but he's only interested in casual so you have a choice whether to remain casual or walk away.
3. You keep seeing him casually but secretly hope it will become more

Why would it never work? It seems to have worked so far.

Why wouldnt it work just because he’s divorced and older??

I just think that he doesn’t see it as anything more but it has been going on for 6 months. We only see each other once a week or every two weeks.

Before it was mainly me asking to see him but more recently he’s been messaging me first and asking to see me. He also text me last night saying he hopes I have a nice Christmas. I’m just not sure how he feels about me, he’s never mentioned anything more. He does kiss my forehead a lot and we cuddle and have a laugh but it’s not progressed further in the 6 months

I think it gets confusing if you’re having sex but then still don’t have the intimacy to talk about your feelings or do much more than be kissed on the forehead to show non-sexual affection, so no wonder you are conflicted. I guess you either need to continue as you are and risk getting hurt, keep seeing him and wait for signals he’s interested in a deeper way or put a stop to things. I don’t see why it can’t work though, if he wants it too. Does sound like you’re leaving it all in his hands though.

At the very least you should share your feelings and find out what he’s looking for, casual or otherwise. You might find he’s more on board than you realise. And if not, at least you know. Better to know exactly where you stand than always wondering or hoping he tells you first which can be torturous.

For all you know he’s sat around thinking the same.

as people have said best option is to just ask and if you aren’t on the same page then go from there

Sorry to say this, but this is why I don't think casual relationships / FWB work. So often, one party wants more from the relationship

I think it's not the type of relationship you want.

One text telling you to have a nice Xmas must leave you feeling very lonely. I would either want to be together or be in constant contact.

Have you asked to spend time together over Xmas? I would ask or suggest spending more time together and his reaction will tell you all you need to know.

Talk to him

work out what u want, if he wants the same all well and good, if he wants different to you, you need to find someone who wants the same as you.

new year - new you - new start

Good luck

Are you having sex or is he literally just kissing you on the head?

Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. He might just feel the same way!!

If you can't bring yourself to ask then tell him you don't want to see him again. You don't have to give a reason, just your choice. If he feels more strongly about you he will make the first move.

Tbh I don't understand how people can share bodily fluids but not their thoughts

Totally irrelevant, but a guy I was sleeping with kissing me on the forehead would give me the major ick immediately. Very paternal thing to do. Yuck.

Totally irrelevant, but a guy I was sleeping with kissing me on the forehead would give me the major ick immediately. Very paternal thing to do. Yuck.

DH kisses me on the forehead all the time, it's just a way of showing affection.