Thinking about being not just "being"

[Burgoo]

I find society frustrating in the way everyone seems to be so "on" and "doing" that few seem to be able to stop, take a breath and just be in the moment.

I've found over the years that people around me seem to be on autopilot. They can't appreciate things going on around them; stuck in a cycle of "doing" things to the point that they never truly live in the here and now. I had a family member today give presents to their child. The duration was spent analysing whether they had gotten "the right" or "good" presents, scanning for the reactions of their child.

Another family member was so caught up in getting dinner "right" that they ended up crying. Was it good food? Yes, of course. Was the mood raised by the person sobbing into their gravy? Not at all (half kidding here).

It is the same with other things too. Social media if FULL of people screaming at each other, not listening - not HEARING. They are right and you are wrong! How dare you say otherwise! It is exhausting and one of the reasons I tend to comment and then leave on forums - just to avoid the fights.

Then you have he said/she said, drama in people's lives. It isn't that it impacts me directly, though I do find it frustrating (and rather saddening) when people constantly have some crisis that needs talking about endlessly.

I try to take at least 30 minutes an evening (when baby is snoring) to sit, do nothing, breathe, notice my thoughts and my body, just stop. I'd love more people do slow down. I live near London and it is hellish at times. Nobody wants to make eye contact or say hello, everyone has to be somewhere ten minutes ago, workplaces are often brimming with anxiety over the latest target or statistic that needs logging. Of course I get caught up in this stuff too, it is human nature. Though people seem not to WANT to just stop.

Does anyone else find the hustle and bustle of modern life all consuming and wish that society as a whole would calm the heck down and chill out a bit! I know kids are being taught mindfulness in schools now (thank god) and there is a push toward doing what your body and mind feels right. I hope this filters down into every area of life.

I’ve had quite a lot of baileys but you’re very wide op

Wise!! Very wise ffs!!

🤣

You’re right OP. Everyone seems to be doing stuff for the benefit of strangers on sm nowadays rather than themselves or close ones.

Whenever I take a picture I ask myself ‘who am i taking this for?’

i know what you mean. It’s the constant need to “achieve” and improve on something which is actually already good enough. It’s all pervading. I work in education and the DFE need to bloody wake up. Constantly adding extra tasks and targets to teachers’ already full workloads. And the pressure they put on kids, no wonder the teens feel like they aren’t good enough. Nothing is ever enough. “That’s great, Ellie. But to make it even better you need to do x/y/z”

it never stops. Nothing is ever good enough. no-one ever feels like they are doing enough. We must all ACHIEVE more. No wonder people end up feeling like failures.

that old saying “comparison is the thief of joy” is also very true.

I think the person crying into there gravy is a reflection of the people around him/her not doing enough to help out.

Nothing good comes from Social Media.

Comparison is the thief of joy - never a truer word has been spoken.

And yet, you seem very attached to how other people act. Let it go, OP. ;) We can only control ourselves.

So you practice mindfulness. Congratulations.

Seconding, very wide/wise.

I agree with you OP.

Agreed. It’s one of the reason I love being Catholic. Latin Mass is a total, quiet step back from the world.
Ive got an aim and I know even if I make mistakes there is confession and I can start again.

😂

There seems to be little time in today's society to sit and think. A well thought-out and reasoned argument is worth far less than one that has been articulated quicker. We rush around and make poor decisions and then spend even more time correcting those, it is a viscous circle. Coupled with this pernicious idea that everyone should have an equally valid input on every situation it creates big problems.

I take time where I can at home to just relax and think. I get little time at work as I feel that if I don't come up with ideas quickly some idiot who knows nothing will go ahead and do whatever they feel like. That is in-between trying to fix the previous stupid decisions that I haven't managed to intercept. To be honest it is quite grating and I feel like I am seen as being constantly negative about everything.

You're not wrong, and social media has a lot to answer for. I'm a much happier person now that I don't post anything at all. I still browse, have a good moan on MN etc, but it's been years since I posted a photo/detail about my life on one my of my own social media accounts. I'm sure I've saved myself a whole bunch of money too, there's a whole industry of activities that exist purely for the photos. When I was a child, noone paid money to have their photograph taken in a muddy field full of planted pumpkins, that's something that only exists for SM. If you'd have told people in 2002 that anyone would actually pay to do something so ridiculous, they'd have laughed. All that time spent booking, researching the best place for photos, that's even before you get onto the cost, it's just a life wasted on planning, imo, mindless consumerism. And don't get me started on those Father Christmas "experiences" that get booked by the summer, with all the hype of Glastonbury tickets. What was wrong with 5 mins with Father Christmas in the church hall at the local Xmas fair? I guess a fool and his money (and time) have always been easily parted, there's nothing new there, but SM has ramped it up a few notches.

@NorahC "And yet, you seem very attached to how other people act. Let it go, OP. ;) We can only control ourselves."

In fairness I never claimed to be a Buddhist guru!

It isn't that they do it, it is the tendency for people to almost like drama and chaos. It can be exhausting, esp when I can't opt to be away from them (work for example).

Totally agree with the above.

I agree 100% I'm so fed up with all the flurry, rushing and drama these days.

Just relax people!

There seems to be a competition for who is the busiest, who has worked the longest hours and who can cram the most into a day. Ive been off social media for nearly two years and feel so much better for it