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Original poster

DS not happy with present

41 replies

loghs · 25/12/2022 14:48

I think I AM being unreasonable, just to start with Grin

My DS is 5 and asked for a Nintendo Switch this year which was technically out of our budget so I warned him Santa might not get that but I got it anyway just to see his face as he was so excited and he's been so good.

But he's been barely fussed about it and complained about the games he got and that it isn't the colour he wanted.
I had a word with him about gratefulness and he seems to understand.

I guess I'm just feeling sad that his big present that was supposed to be super exciting has just not been that great to him and slightly irritated about the fact he doesn't feel really lucky to get it.

It's definitely a me problem but I'm really looking to see if anyone else has had a similar situation to reassure me Blush

OP posts:
thelobsterquadrille · 25/12/2022 15:43

Thepeopleversuswork · 25/12/2022 15:24

I don’t know if I am more shocked that you bought a console for a five year old or the fact you have tolerated him being “disappointed” about the colour.

I know he is five but if you don’t deal with this soon he will be an incredibly entitled little boy. Being ungrateful like this needs stamping down hard on.

Oh, get a grip would you? 😂

Original poster
loghs · 25/12/2022 15:49

@HedgehogB definitely - I think that's the issue. Because he's wanted it as he wants the exact same as them (with the colour AND the same games) so different to what he imagined. We've also tried to have a little talk about how he doesn't need to have the exact same as other people as what he has can be equally as good without needing to be the same.

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 25/12/2022 15:52

@thelobsterquadrille

Seriously I am shocked that people think this is OK. Someone buys a small child a present costing several hundred pounds. he kicks off about the colour and people think this is fair? ???

I understand the child isn’t necessarily going to be rational about it but surely as a parent you can’t tolerate behaviour like that, it’s so spoiled. The parent has to have some boundaries or the child won’t learn the value of gifts. I don’t see why this is controversial….

If I had done that as a child the present would have been given away to charity. Kids need to learn that they don’t get to throw gifts back in people’s faces

MiniCooperLover · 25/12/2022 15:53

Gone him a day or two, it'll be the best thing in the world. It's just over whelming today 🤷‍♀️

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/12/2022 15:54

Young children just don’t really appreciate the effort and money which goes into gifts. How could they really, they’ve no real concept of the value of money, and if they’re then also told Father Christmas makes the toys in his workshop then they’re under the impression that it’s all done by magic. I wouldn’t worry about raising an ungrateful child: a five-year-old’s attitude to Christmas isn’t going to define his life.

thelobsterquadrille · 25/12/2022 15:59

Thepeopleversuswork · 25/12/2022 15:52

@thelobsterquadrille

Seriously I am shocked that people think this is OK. Someone buys a small child a present costing several hundred pounds. he kicks off about the colour and people think this is fair? ???

I understand the child isn’t necessarily going to be rational about it but surely as a parent you can’t tolerate behaviour like that, it’s so spoiled. The parent has to have some boundaries or the child won’t learn the value of gifts. I don’t see why this is controversial….

If I had done that as a child the present would have been given away to charity. Kids need to learn that they don’t get to throw gifts back in people’s faces

Oh come on, he's five, not fifteen. You're hugely overreacting to what is pretty normal behaviour at that age.

Nobody is saying his behaviour is great but Christmas is such an over-hyped time of year for children that it's bound to fall flat when it actually arrives. It's much easier for a 5yo to focus on the colour of a present than it is for them to explain how they really feel. You can't expect the rationality of an adult to come from a child that's barely out of nursery.

Punishing a child by giving their much-loved gift to charity is appalling parenting BTW.

Original poster
loghs · 25/12/2022 16:03

@MiniCooperLover yeah, I definitely think you're right. He's really prone to getting overwhelmed on Christmas (has been the others too) as I think he gets himself so worked up with the excitement on the lead up and lack of sleep. He also doesn't particularly get much through the year and only gets a few things on birthdays so I think the sudden big sack of presents which he likes to open all within around twenty minutes is inevitably overwhelming. He seems to get so worked up and mentally overwhelmed that he even forgets to wee, eat or drink and ends up tired and emotional.
My DD is much more laidback about it!

OP posts:
TheWildRumpyPumpus · 25/12/2022 16:06

Thepeopleversuswork · 25/12/2022 15:52

@thelobsterquadrille

Seriously I am shocked that people think this is OK. Someone buys a small child a present costing several hundred pounds. he kicks off about the colour and people think this is fair? ???

I understand the child isn’t necessarily going to be rational about it but surely as a parent you can’t tolerate behaviour like that, it’s so spoiled. The parent has to have some boundaries or the child won’t learn the value of gifts. I don’t see why this is controversial….

If I had done that as a child the present would have been given away to charity. Kids need to learn that they don’t get to throw gifts back in people’s faces

He doesn’t know that OP spent hundreds on it - he thinks Santa has chosen it for him. If his experience of having fun with the Switch is one particular game, then it’s understandable that he would have wanted that one.

ltappleby · 25/12/2022 16:07

If he thinks it’s come from Santa why would he be grateful? He just thinks Santa’s done a bad job! You need to tweak the story for next year.

Freesia41 · 25/12/2022 16:16

Oysterbabe · 25/12/2022 15:10

I don't think a Switch is a very exciting present for a 5 year old. I know he asked for it, but they don't really get gaming at that age I don't think.

This. It's probably a bit of an underwhelming present compared to, for example, a huge toy playset or a bike.

amylou8 · 25/12/2022 16:38

This is the trouble when the elves make it, and it comes on Santa's sleigh. The expectation is that it be made to measure and magic perfect. In reality mummy has bought the most suitable one CEX had to offer with real worked for money. But you can't really expect a 5 year old to get this when they're told otherwise. We did only did stockings from Santa for this reason.

Original poster
loghs · 25/12/2022 16:55

I honestly think this Christmas has made me reevaluate the pressure on everyone for it 😂 DP and DD are very laidback with handling it but I think I've realised that I suffer with the burnout and pressure of making everything perfect and DS probably has suffered with the overwhelm, all eyes on him and pressure of being 'good' on the run up! Think we'll approach the entire thing a bit differently next year!

OP posts:
FrownedUpon · 25/12/2022 16:58

Not a present I would ever buy a 5 year old. He’s too young. I think it’s sad 5 year olds are getting consoles. They need to “play’ properly, not spend their time on computer games.

SomethingOriginal2 · 25/12/2022 18:00

Tbh I wouldn't really expect a 5 yo to feel "lucky" for receiving a gift they asked for. He doesn't really understand the costs. And I do think (there was other thread recently too) that sometimes people who didn't really get treated well as kids, didn't get a lot of presents for example, expect more gratitude from their kids for being given a decent childhood.

And I do think it's OK for kids to voice that they're disappointed to their parents, you're his safe space, he should be able to tell you his feelings without judgment. He'll still enjoy playing with it, he'll get used to the colour and he can get some new games for his birthday.

But I completely understand that you had got excited about seeing his reaction and you didn't get what you were hoping for, just like him. Its just the Christmas hype. I always feel a little bit deflated tbh

ToWhitToWhoo · 25/12/2022 18:21

I think that if someone KNOWS that you, or another person, has gone to the trouble of buying a present for them, then it's rather rude and ungrateful to criticize the gift. Children aren't born with perfect manners and gratitude, but they can begin to learn. Some experiences of giving presents might help here. But if children think that all presents come from Santa by magic, they can't really be expected to be grateful to their parents and others for these gifts. I also think that many people, especially women, feel excessively responsible for making Christmas 'magical' and 'perfect'. Nothing can be that perfect, and the stress of trying to make it so is likely to spoil Christmas more than lack of perfect gifts or perfect delight in them.

JonahAndTheSnail · 25/12/2022 19:33

He's 5. I'd hazard a guess that he didn't even connect that the switch you gifted him is the same console he's enjoyed playing with his older cousins. I would have thought it's towards the advanced side of what a 5 year old would gravitate towards. Give him a few weeks to play with it and I'm sure he'll love it.

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