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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A Christmas video call just isn't the same

6 replies

SweetRascal · 25/12/2022 07:53

One set of grandparents has moved away and they did a video call yesterday with the children (5 and 1). Apart from the fact their Internet must be terrible and it kept breaking up, it just felt sad seeing them on a screen and not in person.

We really miss them and it's been a massive wrench them moving away. They moved to a county they prefer and to live in a country location. For all sorts of complex reasons, we can't stay or visit them until next year.

It doesn't seem like they miss us, they're so happy where they are. So it feels like if we say we miss them, especially as it's Christmas, that's unfair when they chose to live somewhere else that makes them happier. Unfortunately we've had a horrible few months and having extra family support nearby would have been amazing but not to be anymore.

Does it feel shit when family move away? That feeling that you want to say to them don't or move back but you can't. When their life is so much better. And a video call just isn't the same, especially for young children.

OP posts:
Showmethefood · 25/12/2022 07:59

We moved away from my family. It was to a place we wanted to be and we just felt so sad being where we were. My family found it so hard , which I understood - but please don’t make them feel bad for doing so. If you do they’ll just stop calling you so much as you’ll make them feel awkward and rubbish.
Its ok that you’re missing them and that you’re finding it difficult. But we all have to live our own lives and do what we feel is best for us. Merry Christmas

OrigamiOwls · 25/12/2022 07:59

It is hard when family move away, but they aren't obligated to put their lives on hold for you.

marcopront · 25/12/2022 08:17

We are doing a video call later. Hopefully 18 of us in four different countries although 8 people will be in one house.
It has become part of Christmas and I love it.

OhmygodDont · 25/12/2022 08:20

I hate video calls but not because I want to see them in person but because I find they drag on and are rather intrusive like right in your face.

ChefsSalad · 25/12/2022 08:21

OP, you really need to get over your in-laws moving. Channel this energy to somewhere or something more positive.

Changingplace · 25/12/2022 08:22

I’m the one who moved from my family, I would’ve been utterly miserable staying in my home town.

Luckily nobody ever put the guilt trip on me, and if they’re still in the same country they can’t be that far away.

Other people’s lives don’t have to revolve around being support for their wider family.

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