Do I call my friend out?

[RudolphRed]

Long story short. We had a get together at our house today - a casual stay as long as you like thing - with drinks and a buffet etc. I invited one of my best friends and her DH & kids who lives 10 minutes away (let her know weeks ago). She said they won't make it as are too busy prepping veg and wrapping gifts every Christmas Eve. Fair enough (20 odd others made it though) then I see Facebook pictures uploaded of her and another friend clearly having a drink and great time. Do I feel hurt? Yes. She obviously wasn't too busy to come. Would you mention anything after Christmas or just leave it and realise your place in said friends life?

Is it possible she didn't want to go to a big get together? I wouldn't fancy that on Xmas eve. And I'd probably say I had lots to do at home as it would feel kinder than saying sorry don't want to but I'll go out with X one on one as it suits me more. I don't think she has done anything wrong really.

I wouldn't read anything into it. Maybe she had a prior engagement, maybe she found herself with more time than she thought. She's turned down a "big" invitation and done a smaller thing. It's probably not about you.

You invited her weeks ago. Perhaps she got ahead of herself this Christmas and found herself fully prepaired?

If that's the case, she's allowed to accept a different last minute invitation.

Do you 'call your friend out?'. No. You don't. It doesn't matter why she didn't come. She said she wasn't going to come and she didn't come. And you don't 'call her out'.

I can see you’d be hurt; I would too. But whether or not to call her out on it - that’s trickier… Sorry not to be any help, but I just don’t know what I’d do in your shoes…

Oh no, don't say anything, people are allowed to go out with other people.

Are the photos definitely from today?
She may have thought she was too busy then things changed and rather than invite herself at the last minute leaving you with extra mouths to feed she said nothing.there could be loads of reasons.
The thing is,you enjoyed yourself with friends,she did the same,it does not take away from your friendship.
Stop thinking about it and Enjoy your Christmas🎄

I’d assume she’d pre arranged her meet with a friend and didn’t have time for another social thing, or really didn’t want to do an event, but was up for a 121

No need to be offended. People don’t always want to come to things, it doesn’t mean they don’t like you.

Of course you should say something.

You should not expect her to come to your event whether she’s busy or not, but a friend should be honest with you. Bloody rude and sneaky what she did.

She should have just said she’s not up to it and got a prior commitment.

Call her out.

😁 I think you and the OP are overthinkers. It honestly means nothing.

I wouldn't call her out but I probably wouldn't invite her again!

dont "call her out" - no!

She hasn't done anything wrong

You invited her to something, she said no thank you and didn't come. Her reasons for not coming are not really any of your business

I wouldn't give it another moment's thought. Loads of scenarios that could have played out at her end. Christmas is a funny time with too many invites for some, a lot to do for others. She did not promise to come, then not turn up, which would have been bad form, and it sounds like you had a nice time with the people that did turn up. I would resist the urge to say something. Whether you invite her to things in the future is up to you, depends whether you like her company enough to move on really.

It's a mix , all the best

@RudolphRed i would leave it

Prepping veg/wrapping gifts is a polite no thank you. She wasn't willing to move things to come to see you and 20 others, she was for a different social event. Or maybe that person she was with really needed company? Maybe the present wrapping got done last weekend unexpectedly and time became available.

Sounds like they didn't fancy it. I would leave it and lower your expectations.

By calling your friend out I take it you mean you are offering to let her known that you know that she didn't want to come to yours. What's the point in that?

It always boggles my mind when people fib and then post pictures outing themselves on SM! How addicted to.it must they be?? Assuming of course pics were from today, as one PP queried.

I'd call her out on it jokingly when I next saw her, if she is a best friend, as I'd hate having that between me and someone I was close to. Maybe she has a good explanation, eg) she was worried about picking up a virus? If it was just some rando I knew, I wouldn't bother mentioning it though. People just do odd things sometimes.