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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like I'm not liked ....

20 replies

aaart · 24/12/2022 21:12

Today's my birthday
I have 276 people on my Facebook and out of all of those 9 wrote happy birthday on my wall
I mean ...I know it means nothing but that's quite sad isn't it

OP posts:
PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 24/12/2022 21:14

Happy Birthday OP.

Your FB friends are probably caught up in Christmas stuff, don't take it personally.

Bookridden · 24/12/2022 21:16

Nah, it doesn't mean you aren't liked. It just means that people can't be arsed. Lots of birthday wishes on FB definitely don't mean you're popular or loved. Also, people are completely shit at remembering other stuff at Christmas. It's rubbish OP, but it's not you. Happy birthday my lovely, raising a glass to you

PearlclutchersInc · 24/12/2022 21:17

They're strangers and plus Christmas eve is a really manic day in a lot of homes.

I'm embarrassed at how bad I am with my own family ...my brother's birthday is on boxing day 😳

Happy birthday though🎉🎂

Mouldyfoodhelp · 24/12/2022 21:19

I don't think FB messages mean anything, I've got 3-400 friends I think I had 3 FB messages last year and they were from people I don't talk to.

704703hey · 24/12/2022 21:19

It doesn't mean you're not liked. Facebook can be quite an artificial construct anyway.

I would be delighted if people forgot my birthday, I try to!

Hope you enjoyed yours anyway 🎁

mistopheles · 24/12/2022 21:20

I think nine is a result!!

dontgobaconmyheart · 24/12/2022 21:21

I don't think it means that at all OP. I don't even know anyone who regularly uses Facebook anymore, if they do at all so they likely haven't even seen the little reminder it does.

Needless to say I also think a large chunk of people's Facebook friends are more acquaintances or people you went to school with etc (in my experience anyway) so not even necessarily likely to be reasonably interested in or aware of a birthday, doesn't mean they wouldn't wish you well or that they dislike you, at all.

Add in that you happen to be born on Xmas Eve and it's a triple whammy. Such a busy night of the year for so many. I hope you've had a lovely birthday and that in real life you felt celebrated. Merry Christmas for tomorrow!

nottodaytomorrow · 24/12/2022 21:22

Set your birthday to private on there so no one can see it then it won't bother you when no one wishes you happy birthday as no one will know

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/12/2022 21:23

How much I like people bears no relation to whether I post on their wall.

It depends on whether I'm on FB. Which at this time of year is not at all. I can't bear all the faux-caring and piles of presents. Urg.

Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

AtTheNursingHome · 24/12/2022 21:24

Who even uses Facebook anymore

berrycakeandcustard · 24/12/2022 21:25

Happy birthday!🎂

Thepeopleversuswork · 24/12/2022 21:26

Honestly I think if you are looking to Facebook for validation that’s your problem.

Some Facebook “friends” are actual friends, most aren’t. I’m not down on Facebook and I think it fulfills some useful functions in society but people have become very over dependent on it for self esteem.

Try coming off for a bit and focusing on actual relationships.

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/12/2022 21:29

I haven’t gone on fb today so if that’s the only way I’d have known I’m afraid it would have passed me by.

Have you had any messages or calls from anyone? Arranged meeting up with anyone? Sometimes you have to take the initiative, especially on Christmas Eve.

ArcaneWireless · 24/12/2022 21:37

Happy Birthday 🥳

It can be a crazy time of year and those of us with birthdays on Christmas week aren’t really forgotten. We’re just swept up in the wave of tinsel and turkey and trees.

Take heart and well wishes from the 9 . 🥂

ErinAndTonic · 24/12/2022 22:46

I've not had much time to piss about on social media today. It's probably just that, don't take it to heart. People are manic and preoccupied.

littlepeas · 24/12/2022 22:50

I no longer use FB as I think it is complete and utter bullshit and everyone would be better off without it. When I still had it I never, ever wrote happy birthday on anyone's wall, even if I liked them very much.

Moofart · 24/12/2022 22:55

It's my birthday today too op and I had few messages. Every year I feel unpopular due to Facebook. Need to come off it really as it doesn't do me any good to base myself worth on Facebook interactions. It won't be personal op. I hope you've had a nice day.

PurpleButterflyWings · 24/12/2022 23:10

That's because nobody actually has 276 friends. Most people probably don't know you that well, or even think of you that often. Not being rude, it's like that for almost everyone. And the ones who DO think of you possibly don't go on facebook all the time. I have 65 facebook friends - all real life people I know and have mostly met... There are 3 friends I met through farmville circa 2012-13, who I never met (live 500 to 1000 miles away,) and 3 penpals from the USA and Canada.

The other 59 are close family, friends of adult DC, extended family, colleagues, DH's colleagues, half a dozen neighbours, 7 or 8 friends. I got 27 birthday greetings earlier in the year So approx 40% of my 'friends' on there wished me happy birthday, and that's because I know them and have regular contact with many. The other 36 people who didn't, as pps have said, don't go on there all the time, and I don't have contact with them several times a week. I don't go on it for 3-4 days at a time sometimes, and miss birthdays myself sometimes too.

I know several people who have 300 'friends' on there who get less than 30 happy birthday greetings. Really depends on how often you are in contact with them day to day, and week to week, and how many of them use facebook often.

Catsonskis · 24/12/2022 23:16

I have many close friends and family on fb. I’ve never written on their wall for birthdays…is it still called a wall?

id call or text them.

fb likes are not indicative of your worth. And if you feel it is, delete social media and speak to people instead!

babyjellyfish · 24/12/2022 23:19

Facebook is pretty much over now, isn't it?

I disabled commenting on my wall, in part because of the birthday messages. I would only ever get birthday messages from people I haven't seen since leaving school, or met once at a party and forgot to unfriend. My actual friends wouldn't wish me happy birthday over Facebook.

It has no bearing on how liked you are. All it tells you is which handful of people in your friends list are still wishing people happy birthday on Facebook, a decade after most people stopped doing it.

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