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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Expecting people to accept you have covid

121 replies

9pmchange · 24/12/2022 20:57

Would you visit your family even if you have tested postive and expect them to accept this? Just curious how many people are "living with covid"

OP posts:

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 25/12/2022 00:52

I'd let them people know and let them decide .Same if I was hosting.Tbh, if it was a really big affair I wouldn't at all.

The second time I had Covid I didn't even know. Didn't feel ill at all and my only symptom was sneezing. Only tested because someone I worked really closely with , had tested positive.

Brrrrrrrrrrrr · 25/12/2022 00:54

Only a cold hearted thick twat would do that OP. I wouldn’t want to give a cold or flu either never mind something as evil as covid.

jannier · 25/12/2022 00:59

drinkallthecoffee · 24/12/2022 21:03

This

Show quote history

You do if you have a hospital appointment for treatment.
My daughter was asked to test 2 weeks ago by her work someone at the Christmas party went down with it. They closed her office until the new year

OooScotland · 25/12/2022 01:03

I wouldn’t visit with a cold or measles so of course I wouldn’t with covid, ffs.

toomuchlaundry · 25/12/2022 01:18

Why would anyone expect someone to still host if the host is poorly, even if you don’t care about COVID?

Ivyonafence · 25/12/2022 01:30

littlepeas · 24/12/2022 22:41

We no longer test for covid. If I was very unwell I would not meet up with people - I would still see people if I had a bog standard cold.

I'm sorry but how do you know your 'bog standard cold' isn't Covid unless you test for it?

Incredibly selfish IMO to see people with a cold, especially without testing.

Willyoujustbequiet · 25/12/2022 01:53

Its staggeringly selfish to knowingly expose anyone to Covid. My partner lost 2 family members to it.

It would be the end of that relationship for me.

Morestrangethings · 25/12/2022 02:25

I’m in Australia and our experience with covid was not as bad as in the UK. We do have much higher rates of death from covid this year, after opening up entirely, than we had in previous years.

i voted ‘yes you are unreasonable to expect people to accept you have covid’ -
please don’t come to my place if you have covid .. and I won’t go to yours. I’m at the point now of don’t come to my place if you have anything infectious and vice versa.

it was interesting to see that I was in the v huge majority that voted like me. Sometimes the ‘COVID’s not a thing, carry on as normal, go anywhere’ voices seem to indicate many UK people feel like this, but it was interesting to see it’s only a very small majority (albeit a small pool of people voting)

Im guessing this response would be similar in Australia.

middleager · 25/12/2022 02:28

I've been laid up with this horrible flu type virus. It's knocked me for six. Finally emerging out of it. Supposed to be going to my 76 year old mother's for lunch tomorrow, but no way would I dream of going to hers or anyones, while ill.
It's just selfish and to those who are being blase about it, have you forgotten how shitty it feels to be laid up with illness? This has hit me so hard this week and I would not wish this on anybody.

stopthebarking · 25/12/2022 02:42

It really depends on the situation and the people involved. Generally, no, I wouldn't go to visit someone if I knew I was ill with something contagious, even if it was only a cold. Not unless I'd told them I was ill and they insisted on seeing me and weren't particularly vulnerable. Besides, from a selfish point of view, if I'm feeling ill, I'd probably rather stay home.

If it was a very mild case of anything, I was feeling well enough to want to visit, and the other people involved were healthy and told me to come anyway, I would.

I'd expect people to ask before they turned up at my home with any contagious illness. It's the polite thing to do. I'd probably rather they stayed away, if it was anything worse than a mild cold.

wychiep00 · 25/12/2022 03:10

I'm a 2-time lymphoma survivor and am Asplenic. I had pneumonia twice and a very minor heart attack in the Fall/Winter of 2019. I haven't seen any family or friends in person since February 2020. We DM or occasionally Facetime. I'm fully vaccinated and boosted (had the bivalent booster yesterday) but if I get Covid I'll still likely wind up hospitalized. Even though it's lonely as hell I don't want to risk seeing people in person. To me there is no such thing as living with Covid.

harrassedmumto3 · 25/12/2022 05:14

Umm, 100% not!

Athenen0ctua · 25/12/2022 05:45

toomuchlaundry · 25/12/2022 01:18

Why would anyone expect someone to still host if the host is poorly, even if you don’t care about COVID?

They may not be the person cooking. Then guests would help out the person who is. They may not be particularly unwell either, I wasn't. If you are feeling a bit under the weather it can be worse if people you were looking forward to seeing cancel on you.

Mamafromthebeach · 25/12/2022 06:03

I have some kind of horrible gastro virus right now ( have tested several times for Covid all negative but I feel horrible). I am staying home for Christmas the rest of the family are heading out as planned. I will catch up with everyone when I am better.

Beezknees · 25/12/2022 06:06

Nobody I know is even testing for Covid any more. But if I felt too ill I'd stay home.

Daydreamer22 · 25/12/2022 06:06

Living with covid doesn’t mean rocking up at peoples houses at Christmas with it!

Shouldnt visit anyone with any kind of highly infectious illness that’s not difficult to see as a decent human being. It seems plenty don’t give a shit though. Christmas is too important.

Athenen0ctua · 25/12/2022 06:29

Shouldnt visit anyone with any kind of highly infectious illness that’s not difficult to see as a decent human being. It seems plenty don’t give a shit though. Christmas is too important.

Family are important. I wouldn't leave someone on their own at Christmas unless they'd rather be alone, such as unwell in bed. If they are unwell and want to see us they are welcome in my house, or I am happy to visit them. I understand if people are vulnerable they can't do that. I have never in my memory been ill after knowingly visiting someone who is.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 25/12/2022 06:34

Sukisal · 24/12/2022 21:02

We wouldn’t know because we don’t test.

Same here, never have

Id just stay home if we felt sick, like id do anytime we felt sick

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 25/12/2022 06:36

Any illness, I'd be pissed off if someone didn't tell me and just turned up. I don't want to catch someone's illness if I can help it.

Stuffin · 25/12/2022 06:38

If the person wasn't that unwell e.g. just feeling under the weather then I wouldn't care if they visited with covid.

fancyacuppatea · 25/12/2022 06:39

No, I wouldn't visit someone if I was ill.

I also would tell them not to visit me.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 25/12/2022 06:41

I would want to see anyone who was ill with a cold or flu or norovirus either. And I would not expect anyone to see me.

I've had a vild cough/cold/lurgy for the past week so have been wearing masks again while doing shopping as I don't want to give it to anyone else. It doesn't have to be lockdown to avoid being stupid.

Pterrydactyl · 25/12/2022 06:41

As a general rule, if you know you’ve got an infectious illness then you should stay away from people as much as you can until you’re better.

At the very least, you should let people know the situation in advance and let them decide whether or not they want to be exposed to your germs. Without any guilt mongering if they’d prefer you kept away.

That’s the same for Covid as it is for any other infectious illness.

ArcticSkewer · 25/12/2022 06:42

I'd wonder why they tested if they didn't plan on doing anything different.

Now, I'd rather not know. It's on a par with flu. You can be totally asymptomatic and spread flu, have a minor sniffle and spread flu, or have terrible symptoms and spread flu. I'm not insisting that everyone test for flu before visiting so why would covid be different at this point? On the other hand, if you know you have flu or covid (my family tend not to catch noro so do what you want there) then ideally don't visit.

We are all fit and healthy. I wouldn't visit the elderly or frail if I felt ill, regardless of tests.

DailyMailHater · 25/12/2022 06:45

No I wouldn’t be visiting people if I knew I had Covid the same way I wouldn’t visit someone who if I knew I had flu or or a stomach bug.

the advise is still to stay away from people if you have tested positive.

living with Covid meant we wouldn’t go into lockdowns etc and we would allow the spread but people still need to be careful having seen my father hospitalised due to Covid only 2 weeks ago and there being a 48hr period here it was touch and go I wouldn’t be prepared to do that to soak one else.

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