Stop DS going to ExH new partners

[Postingforafriend1]

A friend has messaged me asking for advice and I'm really not sure what to say, so thought you wise people on mumsnet can give advice.

She and Exh split around a year ago, they have a join DS6. Friend and Exh Co parent amicably and he has her regularly whilst friend works.

Exh has a new partner who friend happens to know from her past. It has recently come to life that new partner has had her children removed from her care due to domestic violence from her to her ex infront of the children, also leaving the children alone whilst drunk and self harming infront of the children. Friend has solid evIdence of this and the case is currently going through court.
Friend was already weary of Exh introducing DS to new partner to early incase relationship doesn't last, Exh thinks friend is being a bit dramatic.
Now she has found out this information she does not want her DS going to the new women's house.

Is she being unreasonable to say to exh she definitely does not want DS going round?
If she does speak to exh and does tell him she does not want her son around new women, how does she say it without sounding like a bitter ex?

She needs to get a check done under Lucy's(?) Law.

She should contact social services for advice. You should try and get their support to get supervised contact only so he can only see them at a contact centre until the case is resolved.

She's not being unreasonable, but she's shit out of luck, because she has no right to control anything her ex does during his time with his child.

If she wants to go nuclear, and if there isn't a court order in place, she could refuse to hand the kid over, but she'll ruin the co-parenting relationship probably forever.

This is a good shout

I did mention calling SS for advice but she feels they will just tell her not to let DS go to new partners house

She needs to call social services and explain her concerns.

However doing it on Christmas eve isn't a great idea. It's inevitably going to look like she's trying to disrupt xmas arrangeentd

....arrangements.

I’d go nuclear to be honest.

She needs to protect her child. This woman shouldn't be allowed near him and if the child's father doesn't feel the same it shows he's a shit dad.

She can't be sure what the new partner has told exh.

She wants to tell him what she knows but doesn't want to come across as a bitter ex trying to split them up.

I don't think she gets to decide who her ex sees during his contact time so she'll be up shit creek if she withholds contact.
Like it or not, it's her ex's call.

I think she needs to decide what matters more - protecting the child or what she looks like.

If she knows this person is genuinely problematic, then act on it.

She can't be sure what the new partner has told exh.

Didn't you say she's got evidence, though? So that doesn't matter.