sick of half arsed plans

[choccyantelope]

invited family over tonight for 6, asked just now if that’s still ok as i know they had a few things to do before christmas day. they said no won’t make that. i said ok what time will we change to. ‘don’t know’ right well don’t f*cking come then. i have a toddler and brand new baby to get to bed and presents out for. sick of loose plans.
same yesterday with ‘i’ll pick you up soon’ so i get kids ready, then no sign of them for ages so i phone and check they’re on their way soon ‘no found a movie on tv just watching that then will come’ so stayed at home instead. ffs just pick a time and stick to it

You literally reply saying oh well it’s going to be too late then so will see you another day, can’t bear this sort of thing.

Really rude.

That sort of thing drives me mad! It's so rude.

We had someone coming over for Christmas Eve to stay over. Special dietary requirements. Food bought. Called this morning to say she'd be here at at 5pm. Called an hour ago to say she'd developed Covid and she wouldn't be coming. 🤣. Yeah ok hun.

@choccyantelope YANBU. I can’t be doing with this sort of shit. Make this the last time you make firm plans with people who don’t have time for you. I’d never do this to anyone - if I couldn’t make it after arranging, I would phone and explain and apologise profusely. People like you describe won’t change.

that’s exactly what i’ve done. i’m just sick of it. same sort of thing with my dds birthday they said to come to theirs for breakfast at 10. got there, still in their pyjamas and hadn’t set table or anything so we just sat and waited while they rushed around like headless chickens saying ‘oh thought you’d sleep in!’ well no we agreed on 10 so why would i.

so infuriating

"Oh that's a shame. With bedtime etc it won't be possible now. See you soon"

Oh got, OP. That's shit.

Not surprised you're pissed off.

I'd seriously limit any future plans to essentials only.

YABVU for making all that work for yourself at Xmas when you have a new baby.

They sound really rude.

I think your only option now is to play them at their own game. Next time, leave them waiting. Cancel last minute. They won't get it, but it'll make you feel better at least.

That sounds very annoying OP

basically what i’ve said but how long will it be until they gaslight me into thinking i’m the dick :))

No, no, no this would piss me right off. I'd be the same as you op don't fucking bother. Don't let them twist it round on you it's taking the piss.

YANBU I really, really couldn't be doing with thus. I would refuse to make plans with them 8n future and make sure they know why.

Well done for saying it, save this thread so if there is any gaslighting then you can look at all of the support again. I once sat waiting for 2.5hr with 2 excited kids to see their grandparents and they didn’t even mention being late. Since then I just say text us when you’re 10 mins away and we will head home. It’s worked fine and once they actually had to wait for 5 mins and they weren’t impressed. People like this won’t get it as you say, so I’ve found a way to make it work for me. It’s really, really difficult. Just get in your pjs and enjoy the evening your little family and hope you have a lovely Christmas 🥰

Christmas Eve is what works for dc imo.
So stick to your guns.