Pissed off at DH

[user1469032438]

DH went out at 3pm yesterday, got in at 1am this morning. Woke me up and then kept me up till 3am despite me begging him to be quiet (we don't have a spare room and I tried to sleep in the sofa but just couldn't get comfy) finally got to sleep about 3 am and then DH got up for a piss and fell on me and woke me back up at about half 3.

I was up with our 5 year old at 7am got the house sorted and child sorted DH comes down at about 10 happy as Larry winds the dog up makes himself some breakfast i tell him how tired i am cause i only got 4 hours sleep and then says he is going to get dressed and walk the dog, great I think And sit down with a coffee.

Gets to 11 and no sign of him, we are supposed to be at my mums for 1 for a buffet and he still needs to work the dog and get his car from the pub so I go up to get 5 year old dressed and he is fast asleep in bed again!

So I got 5 year old dressed tell him I'm going my mums and leave.

He never showed, hasn't text, hasn't apologised nothing, 5 year old is understandably bouncing I'm shattered and got loads of shit to do at home and I am just sat at my mums seething.

AIBU to be pissed off?

For the record i have no problem him going out and getting pissed but I don't think you should then get to bow out of family life the next day especially if you have plans, my poor put so much effort in and bought special food he likes and stuff and he just didn't even bother turning up!

I feel you - my OH does this and it drives me to distraction. He never apologises either and doesn't even seem to think he's done anything wrong.

Like you I don't care if he goes out, but I do expect plans to be adhered to and responsibilities to not be shirked.

No advice really but it really did resonate

That is shit of him. If he is old enough to have a child he is old enough to manage his own drinking and participation in family life the next day.

Why does he go out without you? I don't understand some people's relationships . His behaviour sounds selfish. Unless it's somehow balanced out when you go out without him and he deals with the kids then..

Yanbu! This would drive me to insanity. No advice either as such because as much as he might be apologetic later what has happened has already happened and can't be taken back. When you think about things like this, don't do so in isolation, consider it as part of the wider picture of how he treats you and his contribution/presence to family life.

Slightly annoying & not the end of the world. I certainly wouldn't let it put me in a bad mood on Christmas eve. I would probably take him home a plate of food & send him a quick message with anything that needs doing at home

@Megapint if I took him a plate of food home he would be wearing it. The inconsiderate waster.

Shitty behaviour. Imagine if you'd done it.

I would probably take him home a plate of food

😂😂😂

I’d be Fucking livid. I don’t care when my husband goes out or what time he comes home/how pissed he is, but the night before Christmas Eve when you’ve got a five year old? Come on.

I think you know OP that your DH has an alcohol dependency problem.
He needs rehab and to go dry & sober.

So when you get back, run a bath, lock the door and make it clear he is charge of 5 year old and whatever else needs doing until it's time to do the Xmas eve mince pie and carrot thing, then once child is in bed hand him a list of jobs that need doing. If you want to put a nice mood in place, divvy up the tasks rather than just handing it all to him, but under no circumstances just do a martyr act of doing it all til gone midnight while he makes vague noises about "helping".

This level of selfishness is never in isolation.

Its your child I really feel sorry for, and as for the rudeness and disrespect of your mother🙄🤷🏻‍♀️......just awful.

Nothing wrong with a night out, but blowing off a commitment like a visit to your mother's when she's gone to so much trouble is appalling.

I'd be bloody furious too OP. What a selfish and thoughtless man you've married. It really sounds like he takes you, and everyone else in his life for granted, as spending all day sleeping off the effects of the night before, when he not only has a commitment to go to your Mum's with you, but also has a 5 year old who is doubtless very excited, and could do with attention from both of you, is really taking the piss. Like others, I'm inclined to think that he is pretty selfish the rest of the time and doesn't do much to help out, are we right? If so, I'd be giving thought as to whether this is really the partner I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Depends if it’s a 1-off and if he then says thanks and takes over when he’s better.

So he's cooking the Christmas lunch tomorrow while you relax, right?

You don't care if he goes out? Well frankly you need to start because it sounds like him opting out of family life happens more often than you want to admit. He should be phoning your mum to apologise and taking some flowers around next time he sees her. You are letting him get away with blatant disrespect towards you but towards your mum is even worse. Don't quietly seethe or rant on here, deal with the actual problem! Speak to him in the next few days and explain why you are so annoyed.