Am I causing a row where there isn’t one or would this upset you also

[Travelplans]

DH just went to say something to me but stopped himself and then mumbled under his breath. I asked what he said. He then said “I was going to say that I moved your velvetiser to the garage to make space on the side for your sisters air fryer tomorrow but then I knew you’d go mehmehmeh (in a mocking tone) that you’d want a hot chocolate in the morning so I stopped myself. “

I said to him do you know how many times you talk to me or about me like that lately and it’s not kind.

He told me I was causing an argument where there isn’t one and now we’re in some kind of awkward silence.

My issue isn’t him moving the velvetiser, we need more space it’s fine. My issue is that he could have just said I’ve moved the velvetiser, if you want to use it then we can bring it back in. Why did he need to mock me kicking off when I wouldn’t have said anything anyway.

Another example just the other day the kids needed a battery for something, we didn’t have any so the one from my work mouse got used. We then bought some and when we got home he said let’s make sure the battery gets put back before we have mummy kicking off on Monday morning. I might have huffed a little and gone and got the battery but that would have been it. Who wouldn’t find that annoying.

So Aibu that this is not a nice way to talk about your wife?

No, he wouldn’t know I’ve posted on here.

I would love to know his version of events! Over our 53 years together my late OH and I could both be a bit nasty to each other. We knew what buttons to press, for example he would sometimes trip over his own tongue in an argument and I would finish his sentence for him, it was just a part of living together, no-one, even the female, is always perfect!

Well, hello Mr Travelplans. Good job apologising.

He's definitely on mumsnet.

OP you both sound kinda easily pissed off at each other. He expresses himself in a passive aggressive way and you express yourself in an aggressive way. Also, sometimes, people are passive aggressive because they don't want the more outspoken partner to kick off. Perhaps it's a form of cowardice too or fear?

So you both need to communicate better with each other and air your grievances out (perhaps choose a day to talk about what's bothering you about the other and you both listen to each other with no judgement) so it doesn't come out in anger or resentment with little things.