Would you be anoyed if I said you were needy

[summer788]

Would you be offended

Would depend on the context.

Yes

If I was needy I’d probably be offended. If I wasn’t I’d probably think you were a bit odd. Shame humans are like that…

Well it’s not generally a compliment, is it?

Well yes it's obviously not a compliment so no-one's going to be pleased to be told that. Whether or not it's true or useful to say is a separate issue but yes I'd be put out.

Yes of course. It’s an emotive word only used in a derogatory way.

Has someone said that to you?

Wouldn't most people

I hate when someone says someone is 'needy'.

They have unmet needs

It can really be used as a put down which I don't like.

Um ... of course! It's a huge insult!

I would class needy as a pejorative term so would expect someone to be offended.

Well, it’s never intended as a compliment, but I might be interested in what it said about the person saying I was needy, and our relationship. There’s clearly a mismatch between what the other person thinks I ‘need’ from him/her and what they’re willing or able to give.

I’d wonder why you were saying it but wouldn’t necessarily think your opinion was correct. Unless there was a good reason for you to say it I would think you were rude.

Difficult question to contextualise because people who are needs don't usually recognise themselves as needy so are bound to react badly to the suggestion. Likewise people who are entitled don't usually recognise themselves as entitled and tend to balk when the suggestion is put to them that they might be a bit up themselves.

Yes it’s just about my worst fear. Can’t bear the thought of being needy or codependent.

Who has said that?

No, because I’m not, but I’d think you were a dick (not you OP- the hypothetical person).

My kids call me needy all the time, I think it's funny.

If anyone else called me needy I'd be annoyed.

It totally depends on who it is and why they are saying it.

If a person is actually needy they are likely to be sensitive and would probably be offended.

If the person is not needy then they would likely feel annoyed. I think some selfish people use words like "needy", "moody" and "nagging" to deflect the expectations placed on them by the other person asserting very reasonable boundaries which they don't like.

I met a friend the other day and we had a slight disagreement on a few things but I think it's because she's so needy I just wanted to say it but didn't

Maybe tell her she has high expectations rather than calling her needy? Needy is pretty insulting tbh.

I'd be confused, because I'm probably about as far from "needy", in the emotional sense, as it's possible to be.

It's not a compliment though, so I wouldn't expect anyone to display a positive response to being told they're perceived as "needy", especially by a friend. There are certainly more polite ways of expressing that you have different expectations of your friendship.

I think it would be kinder to be more specific about what you can’t do for her.

I can't ever imagine this being anything but an insult. So yes.

Most of the time I would be annoyed, but I would accept that it could be banter in certain situations.

Good job you didn't say it. I would have been quite insulted.