Lonely at Xmas

[Lookingforthecoffeerevels]

Just that really. I don't have plans to go anywhere over the Xmas holidays. I know I'm lucky to have my healthy family, but I can't help feeling that everyone else seems to be overun with invites and parties and I guess I'm just feeling a bit lonely. Or is it just me that feels this way ??

I kind of get what you mean. My personal Christmas plans have been very recently bulldozed through by my BF at the last minute and now I'm going to be on my own on the day as well, but I'm looking forward to it, even though I've already ate all my Christmas food and have to get more tomorrow 😂

I doubt it's you feeling that way. I think Christmas is a lonely time for a lot of people. I feel very depressed and strange on my birthday and the days running up to it.

I hope you have a very lovely Christmas ❤I'm sure you will.

I always feel a bit like this, and a bit relieved when it's over tbh. I think it's just expectations that everyone must be happy. We don't see anyone, just DP and my DS's. But you only have to read some of the threads on here to realise the grass isn't always greener. But I do miss the big family Christmas's of my childhood.

Thank you ❤️ I'm still looking forward to Xmas, just feeling a bit sad that I don't have any friends to visit etc xx I hope you have a lovely day just doing as you please 😊

You are much the same as me - except I am very much an introvert and don't dislike spending the next 10 days with just my immediate family. If you feel lonely then there are ways and means to change that. How much are you willing to go out of your comfort zone to do what you need to do to change things? I have felt lonely but evening classes and volunteering have filled the gap enough to be meaningful, friendships are harder but possible. But they take effort and maybe courage.

I've got people coming and I don't want them to! Can we swap? Honestly it's such a pressured time isn't it, designed to make us all want what we don't have. I'll be glad when it's over. I hope you have a nice time OP, enjoy your relaxing time.

ontheradio.co.uk/2022/12/big-stars-to-be-part-of-christmas-day-special-on-hits-radio/

I saw this advertised today, I thought it was a nice idea for people to do something a bit positive and interactive.

Special occasions can add extra pressure for people and make us feel more isolated than normal. There are lots of people who will be having a quiet Christmas or will feel a little sad for all sorts of reasons.

Maybe worth a new year's resolution to make an effort to meet people and stay in touch for next year.

Thank you for your replies. I know I need to meet more people. I recently started a hobby, everyone is lovely,but it's not really a social thing outside of the group.

Too many threads on MN's complaining about guests/family/friends turning up or dont like them. I'm like that

But never forget, many are lonely and even those with a large family etc as they get older are often alone as family friends dead/sick or just don't bother.

Ah yes, its pretty shit but I do think people just assume everyone has plans or they're close to their families who are available to spend the day with.

I've got a large family (5 siblings, grandparents alive, parents etc) and I'm still spending it alone with my children. Friends don't invite because they're with their families which is completely fine and i dont expect to spend it with friends anyway, my siblings go to inlaws / away so I don't spent it with them either. Parents work, it is lonely. But I'm grateful I'm not completely on my own and will be busy making the day fun for the children so hopefully won't be thinking about it too much.

Merry Christmas op.

I was just thinking the same OP. Both DH and I have disappointing and small families.

We were pushed out of a friendship group this year, and thanks to the wonders of SM we've been hearing how they are all together tonight. I feel like crap , not least because it was DD who saw it on SM as she is friends with the DCs of our old 'friends'.

We have no plans, no one will visit and we won't be visiting anyone It's like this all the time, but for some reason it's left me feeling inadequate tonight. I look forward to Christmas being over.

I will focus on our little unit for the next 10 days and get over myself.

I don't get it

I love being alone. Im very happy in my own company, sometimes I get a pang of guilt/weirdness that I'm missing out and make more of an effort to go out and socialise with people in group situations more and then find
group situations exhausting and often a little boring/over reliant on gossip and then I find I can't be bothered again for a bit.

Outside of family I have a select group of individuals that I like to talk to and care about on some level but none of them know each other and none of them I spend any extended time with on a regular basis.

and that suits me fine.

people who it doesn't suit seem to make their own arrangement, ask if anyone's free, suggest drinks etc. You make up your own fun as the saying goes.

But that also means its ok to be happy in your own company and not feel guilty about it if that is what floats your boat.

Feel a bit like that too, although I dread social ocassions I do feel upbeat after doing something. Hope you enjoy lots of nice bits and pieces over holidays.

I find groups difficult, so normally fine. I just feel like I'm letting the DCs down.

Saw this... imgur.com/gallery/QXlUVnA