House is like an oven

[vera16]

Arrived at parents house for Christmas. House is so hot I struggled to sit in living room (27oC) and started to feel a bit ill so went up for early night. Young DS was still awake looking hot and saying he wanted some 'fresh air'. Now considering how to handle rest of the week, DF is on blood thinners and feels the cold so insists on cranking the heating up, But is sat there in not particularly warm clothes. DM is upset I can't/won't sit with them. Who is being unreasonable here?

"Dad, put on some warmer clothes please, it's the middle of Winter, and the house is so hot for me and my son. I'm not sure how long we can stay here if it remains at such a high temperature."

"Mum, DS and I can't sit with you all because the house is too hot. I know dad takes blood thinners but he's sat there in a t-shirt and shorts. If he put a jumper and trousers on the heating could be turned down and then we can all spend time together."

But you're being more unreasonable actually, IMO.

I can’t cope with hot houses - they make me feel ill. Can you turn the heating off/down in most of the house & leave one furnace for your gather.

I wouldn't be able to breathe in that temperature. It's his house so you have to cope I suppose, but I wouldn't be able to stay there.

I do agree that it would be unreasonable for me to ask for the heating to be turned down. It's not my house. But then what to do? If I checked into a hotel or something DM would be so upset.

My dad's house is the same, I turn off the bedroom radiators and crack a window open which helps immensely. Dad also on blood thinners.

Can you turn the radiator off in the bedroom you and DS are sleeping in? That sort of temp would make me feel unwell too!

It's a small house so only one living area.

But then what to do?

Put a bikini on and sit with them.

I have just done this

I understand you can't just walk into someone's house and turn the heating down to your liking as other posters have suggested (), but what I don't understand is can't you just say all the above to them? If your DM would be upset if you stayed at a hotel then you obviously had a good relationship so why can't you suggest turning the heating down? And making it clear if it's not then you'll be at the hotel, whether there's upset or not.

I understand you can't just walk into someone's house and turn the heating down to your liking as other posters have suggested

No but you can turn the radiator off in the room you're sleeping in, which will affect only you. I do that all the time at my dad's house! Just put it back on before I leave, no harm done. I cannot sleep with a radiator blaring out in a bedroom, makes me feel unwell.

1: I wasn't responding to your suggestion, I was responding to the other one that suggested OP wanders around the house and turns most of the heating off.

2: Turning the radiator off in a bedroom makes absolutely zero difference in this scenario because the OP's DM is upset that the OP and her DS isn't sitting with them in the living room.

I take anti-coagulants and have poor circulation. Currently in bed with a double duvet and my feet are like ice. I don’t like it stifling but certainly feel the cold much more than other people so layer up. The problem is if I get below a certain level of coldness it makes me feel ill and takes a really long time to heat up so am sympathetic.

Tricky. I would defo control it in your bedroom and just be honest with your dad as he might be able to turn it down a bit and/or you just go in the living room in waves and go back to the cool bedroom to chill.

@Keyansier

I wouldn't say it makes "zero sense" to turn off the bedroom radiator when OP's young child is feeling hot and unable to sleep and wanting fresh air..... suggests the bedrooms are too hot as well.

You're right, I read it back, and OP does mention that. But it still won't solve the biggest problem: That OP's DM is upset that the OP isn't "spending time" with them (but she can't because it's too hot). The OP could open the front/back door and stand outside there with her DS for even colder air at intervals but if it's too hot that they feel sick as soon as they come back in and have to keep going out then DM is still going to be upset they're not "spending time" with them.

Theres a mid point between stridently asking your dad to put warmer clothes on in his own home and issuing the ultimatum of going to a hotel, and saying nothing. It goes like this...
'I'm sorry mum, it's just so hot in here it's making we feel ill. I know dad needs to stay warm, but I think we can only manage to sit in the living room for a while at that temperature.'
I'm sure most people would come to the conclusion that warmer clothes for dad could be a solution.

(Which is why I suggested saying "can you please turn it down, or we really might have to leave for a hotel")

Exactly.

This post brings back memories of my DS first Christmas at my in-laws. It was so bloody hot - he has such rosy cheeks in each picture and never got to wear his little Christmas jumper. Central heating on plus a roaring fire. It was a relief to go home!

My parents house is hotter than the 7th circle
of hell. I tend to go for the ‘make a joke of it’ approach so that I can actually excuse myself to a cooler room when I feel like I’m about to be implode. Not sure what your relationship is like but could your parents tolerate a bit of banter about it? When dad saw me taking my jumper off the minute I arrived today he just made a jokey comment about ‘oldies needing it hot and not to worry there’s plenty of ice in the freezer for the under 60’s.
Earlier this evening I sent the kids out into the garden with a torch to ‘look for reindeer tracks’ just to try and cool them down for a bit. Mum started faffing about them putting coats on but when I pointed out how flushed they were she just said ‘oh yes, I suppose they do move a bit more than us’….

This is one of the reasons I dont stay at my parents house. They are lizard people and clearly hatching their eggs in the 50c heat.
I cant cope.

Open window in your rooms.

Can you ask your mum for some old T-shirts you can wear to feel a bit cooler? I just arrived at my parents’ a few days back and the house is okay, but I have no suitable clothes to go outside as the forecast said 18-20º but it’s a constant 25+ so everything I have is too warm. I’ve been borrowing old T-shirts from my mum and sister’s old wardrobe and putting a thin jumper on top. I don’t look great but who cares, I’m on holiday not on TV.

im always hot. Never wear jumpers and rarely wear socks. My arsenal of tricks for surviving hot houses in which the owners don’t like turning down the heat include:

those cold patch headache forehead things, cold bowl of water for bare feet, cold flannel on inside of wrists and on arms/back of neck, and getting a fan to point directly at my face/blow through my hair, but none of these often happen to be lying around so maybe aren’t great solutions. Hear headaches come on so fast and calm t feels like my nostrils have dried out.

Vicks vapo rub in your temples can sometimes help/trick you into feeling colder. Tis my secret weapon.

Regular gulps of cold air out the bathroom window and cold showers obviously help too but also aren’t practical to keep excusing yourself for.

i have been known to find spurious reasons for getting out in the cold like putting a single apple code in the compost!!