What age should bottle of milk and dummy stop?

[susiesuelou]

My DD is 20 months old. She still has a bottle of milk (cows milk) on an evening before bedtime (the only thing that successfully gets her to sleep), and a dummy when she's either tired or upset (the only thing aside from a cuddle that will soothe her when she's upset - she sometimes even goes to the place in the kitchen where she knows the dummies are kept and reaches up for them when upset).

I know this can be a contentious issue that sparks a lot of debate... Just want to know general opinions on whether it's OK for me to continue both of these things until she turns 2, and then start to phase them out? As that was my plan.

Thanks.

@TheBirdintheCave

That's one of my main considerations- I want to be able to communicate these things to her in a way she has a chance of understanding. If that makes sense.

Bottles absolutely not after 1. I know they need dairy but it can easily be consumed at other times. Mine never liked to drink milk out of sippy cups but would have it on cereal, eat cheese and yoghurt etc. A feed to sleep dependency is something I’ve discouraged since they were newborn so taking it away at bedtime was never an issue.

Dummy after 1 is only for sleep and lives in their bed (with a few notable but specific exceptions e.g. long haul flights when I allow as much as they want!). Take it away when they understand what’s going on, so sometime after 2, but definitely no later than 3.

Both of mine stopped with the bottle soon after turning 1, and moved to sippy cups full time. Neither ever needed a bottle to go off to sleep, so it wasn't an issue.
DD was never interested in a dummy, except for when she was a tiny, tiny baby. DS LOVED his dummy, and kept it up until he turned 3. There wasn't a massive cut-off or anything. I simply stopped replacing the ones that got lost, and chucked away the odd one or two when he wasn't looking. Then when he asked for his dummy, I'd look around with an air of puzzlement and a "oh... I don't know where one is!" and he'd just sort of shrug and carry on playing. After about a week they were never mentioned again.

Ds had a bottle at bed time until he was at least 3, he was a bad sleeper ( undiagnosed ASD) so anything that helped I kept, he had his dummy until just before he started school. No dental problems, no braces, he is 18 now.

Ds had a bottle at bed time until he was at least 3, he was a bad sleeper ( undiagnosed ASD) so anything that helped I kept, he had his dummy until just before he started school. No dental problems, no braces, he is 18 now.

ds went to a free flow sippy cup at bedtime around his first birthday.

We feed after his teeth were brushed until he was around 3ish. We weighed up milk after brushing vs having to wait 30 mins after milk to brush and went for brushing after milk.

If you are going to wait until she can understand why there is going to be a change you are going to be waiting too long...

Mu DD had a bottle until just after 3 for bedtime only, she's just turned 4 and still has a dummy at home and in the car. We take it out when she goes to sleep but it's bit affected her teeth and it is still a real comfort to her. If it makes them happy there's no rush at the moment

Weaned onto a sippy cup around 16 months (from breastfeeding) no dummy. They don't need them at this point

Every posters advice is going to vary massively as all kids are different. The hv would probably advised that you should have stopped already. My dd2 is 15 months, she started taking a dummy at 6 months. I'll take it away when she is about 2. She only uses it at bedtime and naptime so I've got no issues with it. As for bottles, she will gradually reduce them and I tend to get rid of them when I toilet train.

The best advice I can give is to be aware of the generic advice but tailor your approach to your child and go by their needs. So if baby won't take a beaker with milk in yet, carry on with a bottle and try again in another 2-3 months etc.

Whereas in our house, we tipped up at the dentist with a 2.5 yr old and the dentist (who we'd never seen before, never mentioned dummy use before) said "the dummy is affecting his teeth and palette, it's pulling his front teeth forward". The dummy went that night. Couple of evenings of major sadness and crying and it was ok.

I didn't use dummies or bottles with my three, so not personal experience in that respect but I'm work with families of children needing feeding support and have taught many babies to use open cups and straws. These are better for oral development then sippy cups.

Rather than focusing on removing the bottle focus on introducing a new exciting cup she can choose herself and switch to that?

DD had a bottle of milk until about 2, dummy til 3. With the milk, I started by switching to a Tommy tippee insulated sippy cup, then eventually replaced the milk with water.

In answer to your question, I'd agree with trying to wean off by age 1 because of impacts on teeth (one poster telling you their DC's teeth are fine despite bottles past this age is irrelevant).

But you can't possibly wait to make decisions about your child until she's old enough to fully understand them. I'd switch to milk out of a cup earlier in the evening and offer water (from a cup) at bedtime if she insists she's thirsty. Yes, she may complain at first, but she's not going to find it any easier and likely we will find it harder the longer you leave it.

12 months. Milk in a sippy or open cup after that point. No need for dummies at this age.

Hv advice is 12 months, which I follow. Never did dummies, hospital advised against the, but I hazing seem to recall advice if you do give them is 6 months? But maybe it is thr same as bottles.
My mother was a bit lazy, she thought I'd naturally move away. I remember the fits and arguments at 4, just before school because I still wanted my bedtime bottle. It is so unnecessary. The younger the better.

Ds2 had severe reflux and it was recommended he use a dummy to keep swallowing down saliva. He was 3 when he stopped using the dummy which was in the day time too due to the reflux. He still has reflux today, he is 16. Bottles of milk it was just before he was 2 for the night time one. In the day he never had a bottle past 1 year old. He did have an older sibling though so he modelled cup drinking at the table with meals.

Teeth wise his teeth are lovely however, he learned to speak around the dummy so needed speech therapy at nursery to relearn words. He could pronounce the sounds but would mispronounce words he already knew. The dummy prevented scarring of his oesophagus which was the important thing.

Basically it is up to you when you want to stop it. I would never advise around Christmas purely because of all the extra stuff that usually occurs with visitors or visiting and she may need that dummy. But after that you just teach her a new way to sleep ie without the bottle. You just have to know that it will take several nights, she will be upset but it won't last forever. You have to stand strong and hopefully you have a very supportive partner and you are a team who can do things together.

Depends on the child. If she has additional needs or sleep / weight gain issues then I’d keep going & resolve the dental issues if and when they arise. I still breastfeed my 3 yo to sleep but we are serious about toothbrushing and so there aren’t any issues.

Do you take the bottle off her before she sleeps? I don't want to scaremonger but I know someone who let baby fall asleep with bottle, child chewed teat off, choked and tragically passed away from this.

I removed the dummy at 8months, DS only had it for sleeping so I've no advice on that.
The bottle was more of a gradual transition, he started having water in a beaker or cup in the day, and then around 18months had his bedtime milk in a beaker (too sleepy for a cup). He loved his bedtime milk and at 2 was only having a cup of milk at breakfast and bedtime.
Maybe a transition to a special cup to encourage removing the bottle?

We removed the dummy at 6 months and 5 months. 5 months was too young as she then turned into a finger sucker. Didn't bother too much with bottles but they both had a sippy cup with milk in until about 3 or 4.

DS never had a dummy or bottles-
but was a thumb sucker
One cannot take a thumb away!
Luckily it had no impact on teeth.
Sippy cup was what we used.

The child is already 20 months old

I have one of those.

Funny thing is if the thumb falls out when she is asleep she doesn't automatically put it back in her mouth.

My kids LOVED their bottles. Both had morning milk in a baby bottle until nearly 3. Bottles then replaced to sippy cups with due warning. Both survived unscathed.