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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that some alcoholics are beyond help

28 replies

PinkSkyBlueSand · 23/12/2022 09:53

Name changed for this, as a regular poster

My mother is an alcoholic, and has been for about ten years. She's in her 50s, does not work as she inherited property so lives off rental income. She is a serious alcoholic, some might say end stage. She can easily drink a litre plus of vodka a day. The first thing she does in the morning is go to the shops to buy alcohol, then she will drink throughout the day before passing out.

She has alienated all her friends and family. She has been to very expensive rehab for detox several times, but turns back to alcoholism. We have tried AA. Counselling. Therapy. New hobbies. Community stuff. Everything under the sun, but every time, she turns back to drinking. She is abusive to my father, who deserves so much more. She is insincere. She has serious memory issues.

I despair. I always had hoped that she would get better, but now I genuinely believe that some alcoholics are beyond help. It's a terminal illness.

OP posts:
thelobsterquadrille · 23/12/2022 11:15

I'm so sorry about your mum 💐

For the record I agree with you completely. It's a horrendous disease.

Blueskies3 · 23/12/2022 11:29

maddiemookins16mum · 23/12/2022 11:08

She doesn’t want to stop. That’s it really.
I’m a recovering alcoholic, took my last drink on October 4th 2017.
I knew I was an alcoholic, I could happily crack through 3 bottles of wine (at a push) on certain nights.
I wanted to stop. It affected every part of my life, body, mind and purse.
It’s still hard, if I’m honest I’d say I do miss that buzz you get when it kicks in plus I’m not as ‘entertaining’ as I could be after a bottle of wine.
However after the 2nd I was not entertaining.

You are wonderful. Congratulations on being in recovery. You are a wonderful role model. Keep going.

purpledalmation · 23/12/2022 12:06

I've seen youngish people (one in particular a young woman with children and lovely husband) vomiting pure blood as a result of alcoholism, yet they don't stop. They say they will at the time, but come in repeatedly. They will only change when they are ready and some are never ready.

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