Is it wise to sell your house and buy another with a partner

[Bebenama]

I’m currently single mum, own my house outright. Previous partner suggested I sell my house and use all the proceeds and buy with him a house, he was going to contribute but only 40k and whilst I put in over 150k. I say no I would rent my house and we equally buy new one.
It seems a lot of people expect this arrangement which to me is not fair especially if you have bought the house before meeting and have children from previous relationships to consider.

please can you tell me your opinion and experience or what would you do?
really want to know how I can do things regarding my house and buying another in future if I meet someone. What is sensible and fair?

how can protect my house if I get married in future?

Surely the land registry would reflect ownership of the property?
Did they get probate and update it?

@LorenzoVonMatterhorn It is complicated. A minor cannot hold a mortgage so the balance will need to be paid off immediately so I have a lot of life insurance but equally DP can buy out DS if he can afford to do so. Otherwise DS (or his guardians - not DP) would own a majority share and can force a sale but not unreasonably so. DP stays until he chooses to leave, starts a new relationship where he wants to live with new DP or cannot maintain the house to a reasonable standard - so protecting against decline through dementia etc. He has a similar will in place. It is a big house and I can't imagine anyone wanting to rattle round on their own.

My solicitor and I have tried to think through all eventualities and I am aware that someone who appears reasonable now may not remain so but equally we wouldn't have got the house we wanted if I hadn't sold.

Whilst I agree with most of this, I don’t agree that he’s a cocklodger.
me and DH bought a house together using the proceeds from my divorce as a deposit. Dh had no money at the time. I ringfenced my deposit legally. We’ve now been together for 31 years, paid off our mortgage 4 years ago. Not every man is out to steal money of women.

This.

No no no

Do not do this as you will lose £100k

Your OP is absolutely right. Don't sell your house.

God no. That’s your child’s future.

In your very good financial position, I don’t think I would ever consider buying with a partner.

And I would never sell my home to do so. I’d rent it out and make sire that the only person who had a future claim on it was my child.

You often see the suggestion that the person in your position leaves their partner the right to live in the property should they die. On the face of it that seems fair but it isn't fair to the child. So, for example, your child reaches late twenties and decides it's time to buy a property, it's a time when you might well have helped with the deposit but your estate is tied up in the house so your child can't access any money. Or your child gets married or has children, again these are times when the money in your estate would be useful but your child can't access the money. Your partner then lives to a rip old age and your child doesn't seen his inheritance until he's in his 50's, By then he has passed through the most expensive times of his life - buying a property, getting married, having children, paying school fees.

There's also the burden of being responsible for paying for repairs to the property and also for updating the kitchen, bathrooms etc.

Given the above, I wouldn't leave my partner a life interest in my property and then that's not fair to the partner.

Make sure you have appropriate ownership that you both agree on if you do it this way.

I.e. You would own circa 79% of the whole value of the house and he the remaining 21%.

This doesn’t account for the price increase you will see in the long run, which means he may wish to own a greater percentage, but a good solicitor would advise.

You are not wrong to want to protect your money at this stage, and especially since you have Children.

I agree with Goosebumps. Leaving a partner in the house always seemed silly to me, because dc probably needs the financial help in 20's and 30's, not waiting till 50 or 60 and dp finally passes.

We bought as tenants in common, 50/50 outright (older, divorced)

@GloriousGoosebumps

So the surviving partner looses their home as well as their partner???

My dc will inherit my half, his his but only once we are both dead, the alternative is the surviving partner inherits anyway!

This. Don't even think about it for 10 seconds.

Keep your house, keep it in your name only, and let it out if you must live with. I don’t care how much in love couples tell me they are, I always advise them to keep an escape route, it makes leaving their BIG LOVE so much easier when they inevitably turn out to be dicks.

No chance!

I had a house I kept it rented it out and bought a new house.

We broke up 3 years later.

Still have my old house thank god!!

Amazing how carefree people can be with other peoples money!!

If you do get a tenants in common mortgage which stipulates what you both put in. I did this with my ex as he put in 30k and I put in nothing

I’ve been in this situation. We ended up getting the solicitor to draw a minute of agreement up where if we split up we get our monies back as we put in and anything over is 50:50. If we don’t make profit, it’s sold back as a percentage of how we put in. In the current climate and if you are able to do so, I’d keep the property to rent out.

gogohmm I'm not saying you should throw the partner out immediately! You could give them a year's grace or perhaps two year's grace it would depend on your partner's personal circumstances. So, if they're young in a well paid job and with investments why shouldn't they move out after a year or two? After all, you have a dependent child who also needs money. If we're talking about an 80 year old with just the state pension then that's a different matter. But my bottom line is, that this is a property that the op brought before this relationship and which the partner did not contribute to and she wants her child to benefit from her investment.

Thank you everyone for your information, it has really help me strongly believe I wasn’t been unreasonable to my ex. Because really I worked so hard and put all savings to make sure my two girls and I will always have a roof over our head as their dad doesn’t provide or help us with nothing. That is a different story all together. Thank you everyone.

Either he moves in with you and pays rent or lives with you rent free. As your kortgage is paid off. He can buy his own house if he wants and rent that out? He could live with you rent free as you said you don't owe any mortgage allowing him to save as much as he can. If you are serious enough about him to consider buying a house then I think him living with you rent free to save to buy a house of his own is fair. Then if you married down the line you are both comfortable with 2 properties. Just make sure to protect your children's inheritance if you did marry!

Not read all the posts but personally I wouldn't sell my property to buy a new one with someone who was putting in less than myself. Sounds like hes using u for ur money. I would rent my place out and go live in his pad, if he has one or rent one together. At least if it goes t!ts up, I will always have a property to run back to.

Tennant in common is all well and good but if it goes wrong and he refuses to move out and/or agree to sell up, then ur stuck in limbo land until u can get a court order, and that can take years.

Perhaps best thing is not to have a bloke... 😂..

Single parent here.

If I owned a house outright there is fuck all chance I’d ever let a man move in, let alone marry one, and I sure as shit wouldn’t sell it and buy one with a man, married or not.

Terrible idea.

I’d kill for the security of an actually owned home for my children.

It is a very hard and important decision here.
If you own a house already and you are in relationship where it is clear that you both follow same aim, which majority of the time is a massive doubts and misleading situation, it is fair as per my opinion to get in equally. It is absolutely different feeling and behaviour withing the property when you are a tenant Vs an owner.
Whole situation depends on personal relationship and overall stage of trust, love and unitnesness.

Let's say I have a house, loan. I am ok and settled. I meet a man, and there is this absolutely strong feeling that it is my man. Now. I have a home, loan. He doesn't. Let's say he can't afford it without partners help. It is up to me now to make a decision. However I can't predict future and obviously naturally I want to protect myself from hassle in case something happens. That's the point.

If/When your relationship goes deeper you move in together.
Where are you going to move in if let's say you own a place and you bf is renting?
Obviously where. Now interesting question to hit.
Should your bf pay you half of your loan since he moved in with you in your mortgage flat??

Perfect scenario in such case would be getting another property solo. So both have security and can put mind at rest. However best scenario doesn't mean it is realistic in a common life.

2 options here. Simple in saying/writing/reading/hearing than realistically taking a decision.

1. He should. He would be renting etc if it wouldn't be living at your place. He would have expenses anyway for the flat. And if he keeps doing it for the rest of his life he will now have any property on his name( I am pointing out extreme here, prepare for worst better than naive look through pink glasses) BUT... In reality by helping you pay your loan he will be helping YOU. Not himself. Having no security is stupid. For the man, and for the woman in this case.

1. He should not. Mortgage is your savings. Paying monthly you creating the guarantee for yourself. And if your partner is paying with you yes it's good however in reality there is no investment in physical property. So man will be investing blindly in your property. What of you split up in 5 years? Your flat will stay your flat, however all invested money throughout your relationship will be kind of wasted for the man in such scenario. The only thought man will have in case of the split up is that how much money he wasted and left with nothing.

If man will choose option one, relationship have a big chance to fail. Obviously not all 100%. If man choose option 2 he should have a ground to do so.

It is not a MAN, who comes to live in woman's territory, while she pays her loan and there is no man input.
No matter what kid sof relationship you have, financial part should be discussed and agreed on.

Personally I do support equal input and eliminate from start financial issues.

If you have mortgage flat and you get an offer to go in with partner in separate property do so. Strictly 50*50.
I do believe that decent man will not even offer to his woman to sell her belongings and cover the majority of the deposit and monthly payments in shared property because of his financial situation.

Common.

And somehow I feel that I was really pointing out difference between man and woman, however if it's really sending such wrong impression, my apologies, not going deeper in this particular topic.

If I am in such situation honestly I don't know what I would do. There is way to many things to consider.

No matter how deeply you are in love, perhaps you never felt this way... if you are stable.. stay stable, don't play unless you totally sure.

There is you and kid/s and YOUR place. No matter what happens you have it.

Go for it if you are ready, even if it's not equal. Secure yourself with contract of % of the property if you will be pooling out more.

Decent man will not even offer to his lady to go in in property where SHE will be inputting more than him

Slightly similar situation but different! DP inherited a house from his grandparents but it needs a lot of repairs and TLC. As the house was inherited, I felt I would have no security by investing in the property incase anything went South between DP and I. It’s also his families home and I would feel like I would be overstepping boundaries by having an input in it.

DP had someone out to assess the house for an insulation grant and the assessor joked he should be applying for a restoration grant instead! The house hasn’t been lived in, in quite a long time so became damp and some of the outbuildings are collapsing.

So, DP and I had a chat about whether we knock the property and build from scratch or buy a property elsewhere. The issue with knocking the property and building from scratch was that it was on family owned land and they own the private road to the house, so if things did go South, I could legally be done for trespassing!

Ultimately, we decided to speak to his families solicitor about the best option for us and a mortgage broker. They suggested a contract is put in place similar to a prenup that if things do go south irrespective of land ownership, access would not be forbidden or disrupted and the property would be split 50/50 on the provision we both invested equally into the mortgage and repair.

If we decided to buy together elsewhere, they also said we could put a contract in place that this would be the only property we split 50/50 but if we had children that they would receive a share of the inherited house.

So after all that back and forth and getting advice left, right, and centre, we decided to use the money we saved towards a mortgage to travel around Asia, Australia, and New Zealand from January on.

From my own perspective and being on the other end, I would definitely get outside advice on this and look to have a contract in place incase things go South if you split. In terms of buying or investing in a property, the only route you should consider is 50/50. I would never expect my DP to sell his property and invest it all into one we jointly own where I would pay less and no decent DP should! The same amount invested into the mortgage and the same amount invested into the contents by each person. No one should pay extra because they own a house. It’s your house at the end of the day and the money you may potentially earn from renting it is your income to spend however you please, it is not a guarantee payment for a shared mortgage with your DP and should never be expected to be used as one. It would be a great savings fund for your child if they went to uni!

My mum lives by the motto; don’t move your boyfriend in unless he’s your husband.