Help please! What do I do?!

[Daffodilseason1]

I’m thinking of getting tinder but really not sure and feel so anxious about it all!

I’m a competitive athlete and I also studied at university. Between both commitments, I have had no time to even think about a relationship. I did want one, but realised it wouldn’t be fair to get together with someone when I didn’t have any time or effort to invest in it. I had casual teenage relationships when I was about 18 and would kiss people at parties but that’s it. I’ve never had a serious relationship and I’ve never even had sex before. The sport I did was also very focused on weight, so as a young woman I found it quite hard to feel comfortable with my body never mind be in a relationship and potentially show it to someone else.

But I’m 23 now and im at a stage in my life where I feel ready to meet someone, and I have the time and effort to put into it. I’m comfortable and confident with who I am and I want to actually meet someone. I was thinking of getting tinder but just feel so nervous about it. Does anyone have any advice or tips for tinder or relationships in general? Thank you ❤️

I'm an old married granny with no experience of online dating, but from what I've read, tinder might not be ideal for you. A paid dating site might be gentler, others will know more. Good luck.

God no! You're 23 you don't need tinder! Go out and socialise with your friends and meet other 23 year old boys.

You might want to try something like Bumble, where, if you match, the woman has to contact first before the man can reply. But other than that, most of the apps are much of a muchness, so you need to go with which interface suits you most. You need to be quite cynical and thick skinned. What OLD can do is open up a big field, and you can go on a lot of first dates, which might help you get more idea of what you want.

A lot of men are out for casual sex, even if they say they aren't, but there are genuine guts out there. It's definitely a numbers game.

I can't really advise on relationships, though, because I'm 50 and as single as I've nearly always been, despite OLD. What I can tell you is that being single can be great, because you get to do what you want most of the time. So approach OLD with open eyes, take it slowly, and take breaks if you need to.

Also, a tracking sheet was helpful, to help me distinguish between all the different Petes and Mikes and Daves, which probably won't be the common names for your age group, but it could still ve the same issue...

There are online dating threads under Relationships, so there's probably a ton of advice there for you.

Seasoned dater here, albeit one who has never tried Tinder! I agree that Bumble would be a better starting point. Less overwhelming and fewer players.
Good luck!

It really isn't always that easy.

Stay away from that place. It's a hunting ground for godawful men.

Tinder has a bad reputation as a hookup site I’ve never used it but the reputation seems universally accepted. I’d avoid it and go with bumble if you want to try online dating. Be very cautious and careful, I wouldn’t rush into anything with anyone.

Sorry, posted too soon - just go on a few casual dates with no expectations, have fun! If you’re not enjoying yourself, he’s the wrong man for you. Categorically.

Try it! Why the heck not! Honestly everyone does online dating - even my relatives in their early 20s are on tinder and so on. You'd be mad not to. I did OLD over 10 years ago at a similar age to you now and joined Plenty of Fish - people were so disparaging of it, called it Plenty of Freaks, said to join clubs etc. Within 2 weeks I'd met my now DH! Be discerning, don't feel obliged to talk to anyone (much less meet them) if you don't want to and stay safe when it comes to setting up dates. Other than that, have fun!

@Daffodilseason1
I know two couples who met on Tinder and got married. Try it but please stay safe there are guys on there that are too forward. I would never give my phone number out too soon.
All the best in your search x