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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think having a cleaner should make life easier?

88 replies

thehourwaslate · 23/12/2022 01:21

Every Wednesday night we dedicate an hour - or more likely 2 or 3 - in preparation. Clothes must be neatly tidied away, no washing baskets full of yet-to-be-folded clothes, and all toys are returned to their resting places. Skid marks removed, toothbrushes tidied, once-worn jumpers folded and piled up in hope of being worn again soon. For tomorrow the cleaner will come, and make our lives easier, but before that we must rush, rush to be tidy.

I know I cannot complain, because we are very lucky to afford such a luxury, but AIBU to have thought having a cleaner would have made life easier? I feel I stress out every week, getting the house to a pretty good standard, then pay someone to do the finishes touches.

AIBU to think paying a cleaner should make things easier?!

OP posts:

Theconceptoftime · 23/12/2022 05:48

I would never be able to afford a cleaner. However, I get where you are coming from. The whole tidying and organising is the main part of it for me. It takes forever. After it is all done just running a hoover over for example doesn't take much more time or effort.

It reminds me of when I spend ages tidying up and organising the living room after us all and then DP comes along and just hoovers the living room and thinks he is the one who has done it all!

Theala · 23/12/2022 06:01

Morestrangethings · 23/12/2022 05:44

No, op didn’t say they would have been left. It just one thing to do amongst many things on a single night.

Show quote history

In my house, skid marks are removed immediately by the person who made them. They're never there long enough to become an item on a task list.
I appreciate everyone has their own way of doing things though.

Yabado · 23/12/2022 06:06

@Theala

same here
I thought the same
who leaves skid marks in the toilets
it there are any we clean them straight away
they don’t get put on a to do task

Augend23 · 23/12/2022 06:06

I view part of the payment for the cleaner as payment for accountability do I have to tidy weekly. It's annoying but it means I don't live in a total mess so it's a small price to pay.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 23/12/2022 06:15

Theala · 23/12/2022 05:38

Skid marks removed? If the cleaner wasn't coming around, they would have been left? That's a bit gross.

That's what I thought. What kind of people leave skid marks in the toilet?? Even children should be taught if they are in the toilet, clean it after. It's not hard.

DuchessDandelion · 23/12/2022 06:21

Skid marks removed

YABU for not getting rid of these as they appear 🤢

NumberTheory · 23/12/2022 06:47

It sounds like you do more than is necessary for a cleaner. Which could be good, as others have said sometimes the incentive pushing you to tidy is as much value as the actual cleaning, but you could do it differently.

Clothes don’t have to be out of the washing basket, folded and put away. You could leave them in there and put the basket in a cupboard. You could just shove those once warn jumpers into a draw. Toys could be chucked in a basket or two. All you need is to make sure the surfaces to be cleaned are clear.

But then when the cleaner was done you probably wouldn’t look at the place and be as happy about it. And if you didn’t have the cleaner, to get to that state you’d still have to do all the tidying and then you’d have to clean too.

I understand, though. My dream is a live in housekeeper to do all of it for us, every day and bring a cup of tea in the morning!

MilkyYay · 23/12/2022 06:49

My cleaner tidies. I love her.

FuckabethFuckor · 23/12/2022 06:50

But if you didn’t have a cleaner, you’d still have to do all that… and the cleaning. So it is making life easier.

lanbro · 23/12/2022 06:51

I have a cleaner who also tidies! I obviously don't leave the house a tip but she will put things away and sort out some mess. For me, if I was going to tidy everything myself I might as well clean it so I love that she does the whole job, although I would never leave skiddies for her!

Paq · 23/12/2022 06:51

I can't believe you only remove skid marks before the cleaner comes 🤢

MilkyYay · 23/12/2022 06:53

In my house, skid marks are removed immediately by the person who made them.

My 5 yo goes to the loo alone. I rarely go in the bathroom he and his sister use, so its possible the loo has skid marks, especially the day the cleaner comes.

The cleaner is there to clean, that includes scrubbing the loo. I never understand this idea that your cleaner shouldn't have to clean the loo properly, its quite literally what you are paying them for.

Fizbosshoes · 23/12/2022 06:59

My DH often suggests getting a cleaner I think to try and ease his guilt that he very rarely does any tidying or cleaning. But I don't mind cleaning, it's the clearing up everyone elses mess before I can actually do it, that I despise! I cleared up our bedroom the other day ready to hoover. Before I got to do the hoovering, DH had gone in to get changed and left all his clothes in a heap on the floor and shoes about a metre away.
I know it would be me who had to find a suitable cleaner, arrange when they came, and do all the tidying beforehand. I think that would be more stressful

OhPeggySue · 23/12/2022 07:09

I'm a cleaner. I love a messy house. I tidy and sort and clean. As I get to know new clients, I get increasingly more useful, as I get to understand what goes where, what to prioritise etc. I'd absolutely hate for someone to be more stressed about my arrival, rushing round in preparationfor me. Find the right person and they will 100% make your domestic life easier, not harder.

Snowpaw · 23/12/2022 07:22

It is stressful but for me I see it as much less stressful than if she didn’t come. Because if she didn’t then I wouldn’t bother putting away the clothes or making sure the dish rack is empty etc. it would just build up and be unmanageable. I need that pressure of a stranger coming in once a fortnight to make me do my chores and get the house down to “base layer”. I have started now doing the majority of the tidy up a few days before she comes, then it’s less of a panic in the actual night before. I absolutely would let my house get into a state if I didn’t have a cleaner, I know it.

luckylavender · 23/12/2022 07:28

She's a cleaner not a tidier. Do it as you go along - especially skid marks 🤢

Theydoyaknow · 23/12/2022 07:34

Nah you lost me at skidmarks and as for the poster above who deliberately leaves her kid’s skidmarks for her cleaner to clean up, I am mortified for you.

Izipizi · 23/12/2022 07:52

Honestly I thought that was part of the point of a cleaner. It’s a kick up the bum to sort out stuff that hasn’t been done in the week. When mine comes, I’ve usually gotten one room ready for her to start in and then for the first half of the morning we are working side by side—I’m a room or two ahead of her, tidying, stripping beds, bringing all the laundry down to put in the wash, etc. It takes her a good 5 hours to clean our house (it’s a big place), and the whole-house-tidy takes me a good 2 hours on top. Her coming means the task of keeping the house in both a tidy AND clean state is manageable.

Fuwari · 23/12/2022 08:00

A while ago I was very ill for a week and the house went to pot. When I felt better I tackled it. The tidying, sorting, washing etc. everything that a cleaner wouldn’t do, took 4 hours. The actual cleaning took an hour and a half. So for me I wouldn’t see the point in having one. I find all the other jobs to be the “hard” work. Cleaning once it’s tidy is easy.

borntobequiet · 23/12/2022 08:07

Cancel the cleaner if you don’t want to tidy your house.

Prediction: your house will be both untidy and dirty, though.

babyva · 23/12/2022 08:09

I would never hire just a cleaner. Mine helps me with everything I ask and pay for. Laundry, tidying, organising etc. I wouldn't hire someone who just ' cleans '. There's always a bit of organising to do.

The types who just clean, also refuse to move anything while cleaning - like the bathroom bin when they're cleaning the floor- what's the point in that ? They just clean around everything. I wouldn't employ anyone who refuses to tidy up as well.

underneaththeash · 23/12/2022 08:11

I look at is as an opportunity to tidy up the mess from the week.

Probably takes me an hour or so.

Sparklfairy · 23/12/2022 08:17

Many cleaners will do both BUT don't be tight on the hours if you want this. It's quicker for you to do it as you know where everything goes.

If you're realistic about the extra time it takes and can afford it then by all means, ask. And don't get pissy when stuff ends up in the wrong cupboard now and then

HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 23/12/2022 08:28

So funny how everyone tells YOU to be responsible for skid marks, which in my experience is mostly caused by the men and kids in the households

yet everyone tells the WOMAN she is disgusting for not inspecting every toilet after it’s been used, and/or responsible for making sure everyone else does it themselves

this is bloody “wife work”, the endlessly being responsible for every single thing

even the women on here berate the woman in the house

OP, the clearing and tidying up responsibility is probably all yours as well

Theala · 23/12/2022 08:32