To be uncomfortable

[refuge123]

I am in a womens shelter. I'm respectful and do my share of housekeeping however I cant say the same for my other housemates.
I am disgusted that I have to clean up after them. they leave hair and residue in the bath and bath plug, there was actually mold in it. They dont wash up properly, the sink is disgusting and visibly hasnt been cleaned in a long time, empty toilet rolls all over the window sill. Theyve been leaving bits in pans and on utensils. When I knocked on their door they ignored me when I spoke to them when they were in the kitchen mentioning I had to clean up after them they stared at me.
I recieve the same amount of money as them to pay for food and drink yet they buy crap with theirs and have slowly started asking to use what I have in. They have been trying to get me to feel sorry for them. They also didnt pay me for the milk they asked me to buy. They leave the bathroom door ajar and unlocked when using the toilet and walk around with their belt and pants undone and stomach hanging out. I feel them slowly pushing invisible boundaries. Ive been here less than a day. The workers are off until a week into january and I'm unsure if this counts as an emergency which is the only thing theyre contacable for until then but I dont feel comfortable or safe.

“if theyre going to be disrespectful to house mates they shouldnt be living in a shared flat.”

It’s a refuge. They don’t have a choice, really.

It’s distressing enough for you without that on top, but it’s really not the same as your average lazy flatshare. Keep your head down. Clean only as much as you need to for you (e.g. you need to wipe a loo seat, you don’t need to collect up toilet roll tubes). If someone asks you to buy milk for them, “sorry, I haven’t had my UC interview yet, I have no money.” Get the lay of the land before befriending anyone. A previous post mentioned talking about your experiences - I’d hold off on that actually, don’t over share with strangers.

It’s not forever, just keep to yourself until the support workers are back in.

I’m sure you are having a hard time but these women are not to blame, they are just living in their own home. You need to learn to show some empathy and accept that in a refuge you are going to have to compromise and deal with people who are different to you. It doesn’t make them less than you.

In what way do you think any of this is an emergency?

How long have you actually been there?

OP, when you say "they", are you taking about one person who isn't biologically female or about multiple female people?

It seems a bit strange if two people are doing all those very specific things (like both going to the toilet with the door open and walking around with their flies undone, etc).