To be terrified of having another baby?

[Christmastights]

During my last birth I had a huge haemorrhage. My labour had stalled so my waters were broken and that’s when it happened.

I want another baby but I’m terrified it’s going to happen again and that if it did I might not be so lucky.

How dangerous actually is it? There was no reason for my last haemorrhage. I’m also very short and petite (about 5ft) so concerned it may be more dangerous for me than an average sized woman.

DH seems to think I’m being over dramatic but I’m terrified.

Get a section?

I had a pph first birth I was given drugs during my second labour to prevent pph again I also had 2 cannulas for easy access. I lost 400ml second time as opposed to 4.5 pints the first time. I was consultant led and I had a choice of a section for other reasons but the blood loss is normally higher with a section that a straightforward vaginal delivery

You can haemorrhage after a section.

OP you are not at all unreasonable to be worried about having another baby. You had a traumatic experience. Your DH frankly can do one! Over dramatic, really?

Have you had any feedback from your birth team as to the likelihood of another haemorrhage?

Only your doctor would know the answer to this, please make an appointment.

This happened to me. First birth huge pph. I knew it was going to happen with my second so we had a plan in place. And yes it did happen on my second birth but they had the injection ready to go so all was fine.

I think my first pph caused my pnd as I was so utterly exhausted for months after. Couldn't get any energy back but at the time I just thought that's what being a new mum felt like.

Wasn't until I had my second and had proper care that I realised you can actually enjoy birth and having a newborn.

If you mention to your midwives that you are concerned it will happen again they can put a pph plan in place

I had the same op. Had an elective c section for next one. It was very calm and straightforward.

I know exactly how frightened you are, I had a huge post partum haemorrhage after the birth of my son (first baby) but I had a reason why, I had a retained placenta so was rushed for emergency manual removal which was horrific!

I was terrified of it happening again (as was DH) and it did, but this time it was a secondary PPH and happened exactly a week later after the birth of my daughter. I was readmitted to hospital and they gave me antibiotics for a presumed infection in my womb. I also, again had a small amount of retained products which I lost a few days after my second haemorrhage.

So I just figured this is what happens to me after birth but I had been told it is not a given it would happen every time, I had just been incredibly unlucky.

I have recently had another baby and I can’t lie that I wasn’t frightened again that I would not be as lucky to make it through another haemorrhage because I certainly was but this time it didn’t happen. I felt so so well after this delivery and have been on cloud 9 since. I can’t believe you can actually feel so great after having a baby as I lost so much blood the previous times that I felt like death for months and was so low. My recovery took so long.

The only difference this time was that I had an extra injection after labour that was arranged by my midwife that helped with clotting I think she said. Anyway, whatever it was I’m assuming that’s what helped me this time. I went into the hospital in the morning, baby arrived and I went home that evening. It was amazing, I’d never had that experience. I stayed at home for two solid weeks to be safe, I was waiting for the secondary PPH but that never came either. And I started to leave the house and I’ve been completely fine!

OP I would ask for a debrief of your labour and birth, it may help you understand what happened and why and give you some closure and you can ask any questions you have about future pregnancies. Looking back the previous traumatic births contributed hugely to post partum depression and I’m pretty sure I had PTSD.

I had a labour debrief with a midwife 2 years after my first baby when I fell pregnant as I was really worried about how/why my birth ended in an EMCS. she went through all the notes, what happened and why and answered all my questions.
I found it very helpful and she also helped me plan my planned C-section for my 2nd baby.

If your hospital have a debrief as an option, I would definitely recommend that!

Did you have a debrief after your last birth? If not have one now. After the birth of my first child, I was extremely traumatised and thought I would never have any more children (PND, PTSD followed) - I had a debrief 4 years after and it was extremely beneficial. They explained why things had happened and what would be put in place so they wouldn't happen again.....I went on to have 3 further children 😀

Exactly the same happened to me, I opted for an elective with my second, it took a lot of the worry away and I was able to enjoy my pregnancy more.

My second baby ended in a neonatal death and me losing 4 litres of blood and nearly getting my womb removed

My third baby came out happily, lost 200ml of blood and was a easy sailing pregnancy and birth!

The probability of you going through something like that again is very low.

We have great doctors!

Poor advice, you can still haemorrhage with a C-Section.

I didn't have a PPH but a bad birth injury that I was terrified would happen again (increased risk)

Everyone quite glibly said "just get a section" which I didn't want! I ultimately decided that my desire for another child outweighed my fear and sought additional, private birth listening and that really helped me decide that a section was right for me.

My friend had a terrible haemmorage when she miscarried and was terrified of it happening when she gave birth. It did but they were prepared. They had her blood ready and waiting and she was absolutely fine.

If you fall pregnant you can share your concerns as early as you want with your midwife and they should help you!

My worry is knowing it could go so badly wrong is it selfish to want another baby?

DC is 8 so was so long ago I’m not sure a debrief would be possible.

I had a haemorrhage and it was traumatic. Had second ds 7 years later. I was consultant led throughout which I hated but knew was needed. Second birth was totally different, very quick, very smooth and no blood loss at all. I was supported throughout. I will say that you do need to sort out mentally your first birth, it does make a difference.

I agree a debrief. It is possible.

I had one to talk through my then 9 years olds birth when pregnant with my youngest. So much birth trauma despite having a wonderful birth inbetween.

Write to Head of midwifery requesting one.

@Christmastights and no it’s not selfish. You need to know the chances of it happening again and what steps can be taken to mitigate any risks. Then you make a decision. X

I had a reflection consultation after my traumatic birth and honestly it made me feel so much more happier for the next birth and my misconceptions about how "well" I did during the labour were dispelled. The midwife reassured me that she was confident in my pushing with my next birth. I know it's not guaranteed but it made me feel better.

You need to see an obstetrician to discuss this properly. As for your DH saying you're being dramatic! Words fail me. Do not pay him any mind. Your concerns are absolutely understandable and I'm sorry you had such an awful birth.

Absolutely not selfish at all and it's normal to worry. As for your DH, tell him he can have an opinion when he carries and births a child.

Hated my first, had an elcs for second. Very annoyed I hadnt had one for both as was so much less traumatic and more controlled.