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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to lend my books?

47 replies

cherrycheesecakesouffle · 22/12/2022 20:17

I’m studying for a qualification in the profession I’m quite new to. In total I spent £240 just on books alone.

Now someone at work (who I barely know) has asked to borrow them as I’ve finished my exams. My plan was to sell them, and I’d get roughly 50% back.

I get why they’ve asked to borrow them but how do I know I’d even get them back or if I’d get them back in the same condition.

Am I being horrible?

OP posts:

GCAcademic · 23/12/2022 13:27

Based on bitter experience of having failed to recover many, often expensive, books I've lent to people, the only person who is now allowed to use my books is my husband.

BlastedPimples · 23/12/2022 13:29

Every time I have lent a book to someone, I have never got it back.

Say no and that you are selling them. You won't get them back otherwise.

Original poster

cherrycheesecakesouffle · 23/12/2022 17:34

Worst part is having re-read the message (it was a WhatsApp message so I only saw the first line as didn’t open it) and they didn’t ask to borrow them, they asked to have them.

Cheeky fuck. Also bizarre as they could buy them and expense them.

OP posts:

poefaced · 23/12/2022 17:38

Don’t let them have them for free. Tell them you’re selling them but they can buy them. And don’t give mates’ rates.

SquishyGloopyBum · 23/12/2022 17:41

That's easy. Say you are happy for them to have them and were going to list them for £x but you'll let them have them for £x given no postage etc.

RandomMess · 23/12/2022 17:41

🤣

That's easy then "sorry I need as much as the £240 the cost as possible so am selling them, £125 if you're interested"

FabFitFifties · 23/12/2022 17:41

Could you not have claimed on expenses as well. OP?

PaterPower · 23/12/2022 17:45

So you didn’t buy yours and expense them then?

Perhaps this person thinks you did (which technically means they belong to the company), which is why she’s asking to have them now you’ve finished your course.

If you didn’t claim, then tell him/her as PP have said.

gamerchick · 23/12/2022 17:47

Tell them they're theirs for 200 quid as you're selling them.

Bosh.

FictionalCharacter · 23/12/2022 17:49

I wouldn’t lend them. I regret lending books in the past that weren’t given back.

Original poster

cherrycheesecakesouffle · 23/12/2022 19:15

PaterPower · 23/12/2022 17:45

So you didn’t buy yours and expense them then?

Perhaps this person thinks you did (which technically means they belong to the company), which is why she’s asking to have them now you’ve finished your course.

If you didn’t claim, then tell him/her as PP have said.

Where did I say that?

I bought them and changed jobs. My other job I wouldn’t have been able to expense them.

OP posts:

poefaced · 23/12/2022 19:18

cherrycheesecakesouffle · 23/12/2022 19:15

Where did I say that?

I bought them and changed jobs. My other job I wouldn’t have been able to expense them.

Show quote history

I don’t think Pater was accusing you of anything, they were just asking.

MyBooksAndMyCats · 23/12/2022 19:21

Say: yes I'm selling them for £xxx would you prefer to pay by bank transfer or cash on collection.

MelchiorsMistress · 23/12/2022 19:23

Message back and say that you’re selling them, give her a price, then that will probably be the last you hear about it.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 23/12/2022 19:26

If your current company will pay for them that might actually mean they are less of a CF. They might think that your previous company paid for them, rather than you, and that passing them on will save your company money. At my company it's kind if expected you pass on stuff like this where you're able. Just explain that you actually bought them yourself so will be selling them

Shinyandnew1 · 23/12/2022 19:26

My other job I wouldn’t have been able to expense them.

Explaining why they could claim on expenses but you couldn’t would have been useful.

Yes, it’s a cheeky request to expect you to just give them to her. Just reply saying, ‘sorry, they cost me a fortune, I’m going to sell them to recoup some cash!’

Sagethyme · 23/12/2022 20:23

I never lend anything anymore. I will give things away if someone asks to 'borrow' and I no longer want the item. But if I might want the item later on, or plan to sell, then I won't lend, as the chances of getting said item back are pretty much zero...or several years too late!

Sunnytwobridges · 23/12/2022 20:33

I'm very protective of my books. I let a good friend borrow an expensive book from me and I never got it back. She swears she gave it back but I know she didn't as I never could find it. It was one of the many things she did that ended our relationship. Now I don't lend them out, no matter who it is. I will show them where to get it on Amazon and that's it.

Reindeersnooker · 23/12/2022 20:35

They're being quite cheeky asking. Of course you can say you're selling them straight away.

Whatifthegrassisblue · 23/12/2022 20:37

As PP say, offer to sell or say you already have

Judgyjudgy · 23/12/2022 20:57

Shinyandnew1 · 23/12/2022 19:26

My other job I wouldn’t have been able to expense them.

Explaining why they could claim on expenses but you couldn’t would have been useful.

Yes, it’s a cheeky request to expect you to just give them to her. Just reply saying, ‘sorry, they cost me a fortune, I’m going to sell them to recoup some cash!’

I like this response

2bazookas · 23/12/2022 20:57

Just say " No. I'm about to sell them. Are you interested in buying? I'm charging half the price I paid."

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