To want to spend Xmas day alone?

[PandoraRocks]

I have a long term partner but we don't live together. I usually spend Xmas at his house. In the past we've cooked or gone out for a meal. This year we've been invited to his daughter's house for Xmas dinner.
He wanted to get pissed and sleep there overnight but I wasn't keen so he's now said we'll stay till 9pm and get a lift home.

The problem is I'd rather stay in my own home for Xmas day. I'm not feeling great - very stressed due to financial and health issues. I've had on/off stomach issues which have caused some health anxiety (trying to get doctor's appointment). I strongly suspect I've got IBS again as I've had this before.

I don't really want to sit there all night drinking - stomach's a bit better than it was and I don't want to aggravate it. Also no fun watching others getting drunk. Add a boisterous toddler into the mix and I'd rather be alone. I just dread putting on a front and I won't be able to relax.

The problem is DP will sulk if I don't join in but I think it's only one day so what's the fuss? I have been to his daughters before at Xmas. Normally I do enjoy a few drinks. I suppose I'll be branded a grinch. WWYD in the circumstances?

Do what you want to OP. I had a major health scare a couple of months ago. Makes you reevaluate.

Unfortunately come down with something?

Wake up ill on Xmas morning or get ill on Xmas eve. It's a small white lie. You need the head space atm.
Because deep down you know you are being overly miserable about this. You're reigning him back from spending time with his family. You could push yourself out of your comfort zone a bit.
But you don't want to. Probably cos you're a bit depressed and overloaded. That is kind of impossible to explain to some people. So don't.

@PicaK I don't think she's being overly miserable. I think if you are of an age to have a partner with grown up kids you're old enough to know your own mind. She's absolutely not stopping him from going. They don't live together so it's perfectly reasonable to do your own thing. No need to lie or make some excuse, just be honest.

Thanks@ForfuckssakeEXHstopbeingatwat . I've never stopped him seeing his family. I find Xmas hard anyway as I have no kids and no family left - mum died close to Xmas.

I get it. I don't live with my partner and am 100% invited to his family for Xmas but it mostly consists of elderly relatives and my kids are at their dads so I am totally making the most of a quiet, empty house!

I would stay at home, ensuring that everyone knew it was because I was feeling ill.
I had one of my most enjoyable Christmases at home alone when I was ill, having packed DH off to DS and family. We had a nice Zoom and the rest of the time, I was relaxed on the sofa, under a heated throw.

As we age, it's more unlikely that we will still have our parents. It depends on how long you see yourself in this relationship and how close you want to be with your boyfriend's grandchild. Events like Christmas build that lifelong relationship. You don't want to make the effort, but saying that out load might make him rethink things. Blame your IBS, not being able to eat a roast and drink etc. But do be honest with him in regards to how involved you want to be with his family.

That should have been we won't have our parents etc.