I am finding myself in a bit of a situation: a very old friend of mine has accepted a job in my city. She's talked about buying something but it seems that's still a far-off prospect (I think months not weeks). She texted me yesterday saying she will be with us in less than 2 weeks. She clearly assumes she can crash on our sofa for an indeterminate period of time. No time frame has been given or, beyond checking the date or arrival itself, she's not asked if it's ok for us. I always said I would help her find something but she knows our place is cluttered, no spare space at all (I have a husband and 2 DDs and our place is in dire need of a refurb). She says she doesn't mind that. She's genuinely not precious about anything. I'm really at a loss what to do. I have offered to help for a few weeks but that's it. I went over our chats and never promised anything like an open ended stay... I also have to add I have had a really stressful year and am badly overworked and frankly bone tired. 2023 is looking like it'll be even busier. I feel like a horrible person for even asking her for her plans but this has genuinely pushed me over the edge. It's all I've been thinking about and again, that makes me feel guitly as she's one of the main people in my life. For context, last time she visited I couldn't take a day off due to work deadlines and although we'd been out together over the weekend, not having time for her that day caused a row. I should have managed her expectations but I got stuck finishing something on short notice and hated it, but what else could I do?
Maybe I can't be a good friend right now- that may be true- but I just feel horrible at the thought of either overpromising help (I really haven't in this instance) or losing that friendship. Everything in my life rests on a very delicate balance right now. I can't imagine what having someone move in for months will do to us all, even if she is practically family. Fwiw, she has money and enough of a budget to find a short term solution- not a huge budget to be fair but still enough to sort something out. That's not the issue. I'm just the only friend in that city and it's been a tough decision for her so I guess it's more about emotional support than anything else. How do I help but retain my own sanity? I can't fob her off, it would be saying I don't want her around which isn't true. I understand the rental market is cutthroat at the moment but I really wish she hadn't put me in this situation...
I've spoken to other friends (no one who knows her) and family and the response is 50/50. Some say she's a CF and others think that's what being an actual friend is about as opposed to mere long term acquaintance ...