To think this is really not right

[EndOfMyTetherAtChristmas]

Nc for this.
Bit of background first. Dh and I have had problems for a while. Barely any sex for months now. We've stopped having big big arguments atm, but big trust issues due to dh lying a lot. Every time we talk he agrees to get some help for an issue he has, but it never actually happens.
So this morning I wake up and find him stroking my bum and legs. Not in the mood at all so gently dissuaded him. He carries on. I ask him not to. He still carries on. I tell him again not to then ask him if he is getting the impression that I want him to continue. He says that he can tell I don't want him to, but can't a man touch his wife? He then confesses that he's only doing it because he's peed off that I woke him up on a morning that he was having a lie in. (had asked him to change the batteries on the monitor because I thought he was already awake). AIBU? This feels like 'weaponised groping' to me (as a survivor of SA) but he seems to think it is absolutely OK. Feels like a big breach of trust to me.
So, YABU: I should have allowed him to carry on, YANBU: he should have stopped when he realised I was uncomfortable.

I rarely say it but LTB. What are you still doing there? And no, this was not right on any level. YANBU.

You KNOW yanbu.

Thank you. I just needed to hear someone else say it I think.

Yes. But it's really easy to start doubting yourself.

Of course yanbu. What a creepy thing for him to say too.

@EndOfMyTetherAtChristmas It's not easy at all but I think you know time is up on this.

He’s horrible. Get rid.

He then confesses that he's only doing it because he's peed off that I woke him up

He thinks its okay to sexually harass you because he's annoyed with you? Whats the next stage...a little slap, or maybe a large shove so you fall down?

He sexually assaulted you, and it sounds like he deliberately didn't as a punishment.

Not the actions of a nice man.

*did it

Have told him I want to talk later (don't want to do this in front of dc). He's just said he feels I am always sabotaging his lie ins. Not a word about his disgusting behaviour. Not nice to feel marriage is nose diving 3 days before Christmas. But if he doesn't see how wrong this is then there's really no hope.

Yup, this. I don’t say this often or lightly but I think you need to get the hell out of this relationship - he sounds unsafe to be around frankly.

He should have stopped as soon as you said no

Is this the first time he’s done this or is it a pattern of ignoring your boundaries?

!!! I'd have punched him in the face!! What disgusting possessive RAPEY behaviour. Get out please.

Not the first time. Has form for grabbing my bits and then getting pissy when I ask him not to. He hasn't been like this for a long time so thought he'd changed. I think he feels entitled to do what he wants with his wife's body. Feel sick.

It’s time to move on, when twats like your H start giving themselves permission to behave poorly then it’s over.

Third option, he shouldn't have touched you at all

In the balls

That made my skin crawl to read OP. Really disgusting behaviour. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you have a good support network and yes I'd be making plans to leave in your position.

I think what really makes my skin crawl is that he knows stuff like this is really hard for me to deal with. Yet he still thinks it's OK. He has taken the car and gone to buy Christmas presents. As if that would make up for it. Don't understand how otherwise intelligent grown up men can be so gross, it's not like women haven't been shouting about this kind of behaviour over the last few years.