To be annoyed by the phrase...

[guildingthelily]

I've heard this phrase more and more over the last 12 months and it's driving me bonkers. The phrase is:

Does that make sense?

I wouldn't mind if it was used after explaining something complex and requiring expert knowledge but it never is. Quite often after explaining something really simple in fact.

I can't work out if saying the phrase implies the listener is a bit dumb or if the person saying it is pretending they're dumb and can't explain themselves properly. When in actual fact they're not.

I swear this phrase is becoming more popular. I know language evolves so I might just have to get used to it as it becomes more widespread.

Either that or the people around me really do think I'm incapable of understanding basic things (which I'm not).....

You've not experienced the 'yes, yes, uh-huh, yep, ok' and then realised later that that was somebody just making the right noises, having absolutely no idea of what you were talking about but being a complete people pleaser or not wanting to be seen as not understanding it?

I know I've been on the receiving end of assumptions that I couldn't possibly understand the big, complicated technical words, which has irritated if it's in that particular sing-song voice reserved for older women, dogs and six year olds, but I'd still rather somebody checked my understanding than just rattled off a barrage of noise (that might individually be recognisable words but, put together, may as well have been spoken in Croatian) before walking off thinking Job Done.

'Does that make sense?' seems a perfect way for me to respond with 'Not entirely' or 'So, the problem was that Clodmangler wasn't talking to anything else since the powercut. But this was solved by resynching the clock even though it's supposed to automatically update, solving a conflict between that and Barnwhelper where the cfms and data files for online submissions are held? And that conflict was also causing the website to come up as dodgy on people's browsers despite the SSL being current? Could it be worth checking the time displayed on the Spanglemuzzle server as well, seeing as we still can't print to the network and could have been taking its time from Clodmangler rather than Barnwhelper as those two were installed first and Barnwhelper wasn't brought in until three years ago?'.

Completely missing the point .but polar bears arent white . They have clear fur

I rarely find words/phrases annoying - I don't care enough to dwell on it TBH.

As for the "does that make sense?" It is the listeners responsibility to SHOW that you get it. If you sit there looking blankly at me, I will keep asking if it makes sense, because you are giving me NO indication that you "get" it. I've had this a number of times with students. I am explaining a process and they look at me gormlessly. I have to ask the question to make sure it is landing, because they may get it but they haven't told their face.

Nod, hmm-mmm, "I get that", clarify, lean forward, raise your eyebrows - ANY clue that you are listening and paying attention. If you can't do those basic communication cues then you will have to tolerate me asking "does that make sense?" because you aren't doing your share of the work!

The latest Alan Partridge podcast has him saying "does that make sense? " in a "trendy" kind of way so clearly you're not the only one who's noticed its over-use, OP!

I use it because I'm not always confident I've explained myself properly!

The phrase that annoys ne and sets my teeth on edge is "reached out". They didn't "reach out" they spoke to you or sent you an email.

Well I suppose it's less aggressive than 'do you understand?' It's putting the onus on the explainer rather than the explainee. But I would expect the explainee to pipe up if they didn't (understand).

Completely normal and always has been in west coast of Scotland. 'No' at the end of any question, except it actually means 'yes'.

As for 'does that make sense', a lot of people use it at work if they're not particularly confident with how they're articulating themselves. It's got nothing to do with implying the other person is thick.

Me too!

I'm a technical expert who works with a lot of non-specialists, so for me, it's a way of making sure I haven't geeked out and gone completely overboard in my explanation. 😄

I disagree. I often use the phrase, 'if that makes sense?', as well as 'does that make sense?'

It's partly a way of interacting in a meeting / conversation, opening up the chance (usually within the team I manage so my direct reports) for people to ask questions or suggest alternatives.

It's also about respect actually, checking that my approach is shared with others and indicating an openness to discuss.

The Education Lead in my department says this all the time. It's fucking patronising and it makes me want to scream. (He also talks over me to because his opinion is more important due to his penis).

I use "does that make sense?" as a way of saying "can you see where I'm coming from?" Rather than a literal "did you understand the words in that sentence?"
So that one doesn't bother me but the
"Surely everybody cooks from scratch, no?"
Structure makes me want to slap people. I've never know it to be used in real life though, I only see it as a MN device designed to put down and patronise those with a different point of view.

It's one of those things where if it offends you, it says more about you than the person saying it. Does that make sense? 😉

Hate this one. It’s like they are saying something and inadvertently telling you what they are saying is gospel and you should agree. Piss of with it!

I say this sometimes. It's usually when I'm talking about something I find difficult to explain, or I'm emotional about it. I'm not thinking the other person is a simpleton, it's to check I haven't just spouted a load of incoherent nonsense. Essentially it's about me and not the other person.

I say this all the time 😂😂
I'm a support worker and want to know my people have understood me.
But I say it in personal life too.. as sometimes I feel like I don't explain very well.
Think you're being picky to be honest 😆

Stop doing it immediately. You can be absolutely sure that I and most people will ask for clarification should you say something so deep, meaningful and complex that we simply cannot follow you. It is an appalling habit. Work on your own ability to explain things clearly and concisely instead.

Don't say it. Just don't. It's lazy and patronising. Work on your communication skills instead. If you're an astrophysics lecturer, putting across complex points, maybe say once at the beginning, please stop me at any point etc but for the love of god, stop littering your everyday speech with it.

@OhPeggySue ODFOD
Does that make sense? 😘😂

I don't see it as a way of checking understanding, more of asking the other person if they agree/see any obvious flaws in what you're proposing. Sense checking I suppose (though you probably hate that phrase too!)

I use it all the time it's a bad habit I'm trying to stop. I think it's me doubting myself it is not to do with the person I'm speaking to. But it is the same as saying "like" too much. Bad habit.

I use it a lot, I say, if that makes sense? It’s a check I’ve explained properly . It is certainly not an insinuation the listener is thick,

fuck me tnough, you can’t say anything any more without someone being offended.

I use it quite a lot when messaging, especially if there are quite a few different ‘he’ ‘she’ or ‘it’s’ in the story. I’m not explaining anything complicated but sometimes it’s more difficult to explain stuff on WhatsApp etc. I certainly don’t think anyone is dumb!
If that makes sense.

This,

and
a lot of people use it at work if they're not particularly confident with how they're articulating themselves. It's got nothing to do with implying the other person is thick.

Whereas this

Stop doing it immediately. You can be absolutely sure that I and most people will ask for clarification should you say something so deep, meaningful and complex that we simply cannot follow you. It is an appalling habit. Work on your own ability to explain things clearly and concisely instead. is clearly not true.
I've been in many a setting where I have been prepared to ask for clarification, whilst others around me sat stchum and then after I have asked sometimes people have said "and me" , and, on many an occasion, people actually came up to me after the meeting and said "I'm glad you asked that, I had no idea what they were talking about, and I didn't like to ask as I assumed it was just me"

I also deliver training sometimes, and we often have participants who are really lacking in confidence, and we work really, really hard on uncovering if they understand what we have just delivered, as very, very few of them have the confidence to ask for further explanation.

You are not describing the population as a whole if you think people will ask when they haven't 'got' something.

as above I’m a user of the phrase.

If someone is explaining something to me and ends with ‘does that make sense?’ I’ll often repeat what I’ve understood or clarify any points.

I do see it as an opening to check that the message has been delivered.