To think parenting will never get easier?

[Chumbibi]

I’ve been struggling for a while. DD 2.5 and DS 6 months. My life is basically spending all day (when DD not at nursery) dealing with a tantrumming toddler who refuses to listen and all night dealing with a baby who wakes up all night.

when does this get easier? I just feel like I’m in a miserable cycle of dread?

I was exactly where you were not so long ago! It DOES get easier but it also gets harder in different ways. Mine are now 3.5 and 17 months. I remember 2-3 being absolutely hellish but since my older DC turned 3 they've been a totally different child. My youngest has always been very chilled (despite barely sleeping!) but since turning 15 months ish the cycle of tantrums is starting all over again. I can handle this better than the 6 months stage though I feel.

Ooft, at those ages you’re right in the thick of it. I remember it well. My DC are now 3.5 and 6 and family life is so much easier and actually enjoyable.

Does your partner not help?
Share the sleep duties so you get one restful sleep every so often.

If your partner can take toddler out in the day for a short period and you can nap with baby.

It's tough now but easier times are coming. Mine are 4 and 6 now. I can't remember the point it became easier having 2 than 1 but it was a good while ago. They play together and leave me alone a lot of the time 😆

Handhold OP, you are in the eye of the storm atm. I had a 21mth gap between my two sons, I can remember how tough it was. It does get easier, my two are 21 & 19 now, the worry never ends, but at least they sleep, just now not always under your own roof, but that is a whole other thread!

I think the hardest thing about two little ones close together is the relentlessness of it all.

Mine are 21 months apart - the youngest has just turned one. I potty trained the eldest as soon as he showed a single sign of being ready as I couldn’t cope with two sets of nappies!

It’s definitely more enjoyable than it was 8-12 months ago OP, but I’d like to know when it slows down a bit.

I have friends that moan about the running about with older kids but at least they get to sit with a cuppa in the morning! I feel like I’m on the go 5am-10pm and overnight!

You have the same age gap as me. I found the first year of having two very hard. From the time you have a 3 and 1 year old it starts to get easier and easier. Much easier once they both regularly sleep through.

I have found when they're in single beds and sleeping through (mostly) this is a huge improvement! There is a reason they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture. When you can have a cup of tea without making sure they don't hurt themselves from a piece of furniture, or hack into a child locked cupboard. When they can eat normal food, less choking risk and can wait for breakfast etc. When they're sturdy and not toddling, when the tantrums decrease and they can talk. It is like you suddenly emerge from a fog and can see again!
Mine are 3 and 5 and just recently, I said it has become easier in the sense you can have a hot drink, their attention span is longer, they can have conversations etc. The relentlessness is still there however, my older one is very dependent, won't get himself dressed, and getting out of the door on a school day is a lnightmare, however he is great in other ways. The younger one is more independent and likes to do 'everything' which has it's own limitations itself! You can't win! I definately think the sweet spot may be when the youngest is 5 (for me anyway).